


The Castle

by xxawalkinwonderlandxx



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: A school project based on Bellarke, Bellamy and Clarke becomes friends eventually, But this place was too good to be true, Clarke and Bellamy don't get along, Clarke finds out their secret, Everyone grows up here, F/M, Modern au - sort of, The kids have special blood and are taken to "the castle", They don't know what's special about their blood exactly, They have to be hidden from people who want to hurt them, They're a team, mentions of blood (obviously)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 55,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27743845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxawalkinwonderlandxx/pseuds/xxawalkinwonderlandxx
Summary: Clarke is taken to the Castle when she's seven years old. She doesn't know what makes her blood special, exactly, but Becca tells her that she needs to leave in order to keep her parents safe, so that's what she does. She shares a room with Harper and Octavia, two girls she immediately becomes friends with, then she meets Bellamy, Monty, Jasper, Miller, and Murphy. She doesn't know why Bellamy doesn't like her exactly, but little does she know that he'll eventually become her best friend. And when Clarke finds out the dark truth behind their "happy home," the two of them have to come up with a plan to get everyone they love out of there. And they're going to do it together.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 58
Kudos: 43





	1. Book 1: ⋄ Prologue ⋄

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone! So, here's the deal:
> 
> I have to write a novel-length story by December 2nd for one of my classes. I was originally intending to post this once I was done with it, but I feel really bad for not being able to update any of my stories since this is taking up a lot of my time (if you're waiting for updates, give me two weeks!) so, I'm just going to go ahead and post this :)

The clouds are swirling gray and white, breaking through the black smoke that rises from the burning building crumbling in front of her. There is ice in the air, biting at the tips of her fingers and her face, making her eyes water, but she can’t feel it. She can’t feel anything around her or hear anything. Like the world is muted. The voices, the smell of the burning wood, the wind howling as it moves through the trees…

 _They can’t hurt you anymore_.

The wind changes direction and pulls the smoke towards her, but Clarke can’t find anything in her to move out of its path. Her eyes tear up even more, and the smoke burns her throat as she breathes but, still, she doesn’t move. This morning, she woke up in her bed, the same as all of the hundreds of days she has spent in this place, and now she’s being bathed in its ashes.

_It’s over._

_It’s over._

_It’s over._

Months of planning, as opposed to years of being in this place she could only describe as Hell. _It certainly looks like it now_. The sound of wood splintering fills the empty space like a bullet being fired from a gun, and she lifts her eyes up to watch as the large tower falls back and into the burning mess. There is a crash, and even more ashes rise into the sky, mixing with the snow that is beginning to fall. On a day like this, quiet with fresh snow making its way onto the ground, she would usually be excited, and she is, but not how she used to be.

She thinks back on when she was younger, running around the front yard of her parent’s house the first time she ever remembers seeing snow. She can remember looking up at the sky and sticking her tongue out to catch the falling white specks better than she can her mother’s face. Her most vivid memories from her childhood involve the place that is burning in front of her and the day she was taken away from everything she knew to be brought here.

 _How fitting_ , the little voice in her head says, _that you’re freed from this place under the same circumstances you were taken_.

There are whoops and yells from somewhere off to the side, and that’s what draws her attention away from the mess in front of her. Some of the younger kids are up on the hill that looks out over the lake, and she watches as they take turns rolling down it. She knows that they’ll have to stop them soon, so they don’t walk around in wet clothes while they get ready to leave, but she lets them have fun for now. After all, they’ve never seen the snow. She doesn’t remember the last time she saw it herself.

It’s while she is looking at them that she can hear someone walk up beside her, the sound of the frozen grass crunching under their boots. At this point, she doesn’t need to turn to see who it is. She knows their movements almost as well as her own at this point, and it’s like she can see their thoughts before they even speak them.

She almost knows him better than she knows herself.

“Is it wrong to think that it looks almost peaceful?” Bellamy’s voice is deep and gravelly, a lot different from when she met him eleven years ago. Then again, they are both a lot different than what they used to be. She looks up at him, watching the white snowflakes land on his black curls and melt while the ashes stay gray. Like the others, and she assumes herself, he has black streaks covering his face, but his brown eyes are still bright as he looks into the fire.

“If a raging fire of a crumbling building is what you find peaceful, then maybe you should rethink your future retirement plans.”

She can hear the slight snort and see the edge of his mouth curl up out of the corner of her eye. “I guess I have to rethink a lot of things now.”

_Don’t we all._

Ever since they came here, they have had their days planned for them. Hour to hour. Minute to minute. Second to second. All with no hope of ever leaving. Why should they have wanted to leave? They had a roof over their heads, a bed to sleep in, food, clean water, and people who wanted to take care of them, but everyone who was brought in now knows that there is a difference between living and the prison they were hauled away too.

The two of them look at each other, and she allows herself a second to fully take him in. There is a long cut running from his left temple towards his jaw, a dozen more cuts in various sizes littering his face that have dirt embedded into them. She can feel multiple places on her face stinging, not just from the cold wind that’s whipping around her, but from the injuries she knows she must have. Bellamy’s brown eyes search her face, a crease forming between his eyebrows. Before either of them can say anything else, the sound of the children yelling causes them to look away from each other and towards the jumble of people milling around the grounds.

“We should get them out of here,” Miller says from off to the side, and the two of them nod before he turns and walks in the direction of their other friends.

“Do you think they’ll realize what’s going on?” Clarke asks, and the worry that she’s tried not to think about comes back to her. Her heart sinks into her stomach. She did this for them. She did this so the children would not grow up thinking that they couldn’t be loved by anyone who isn’t their prisoners. _They_ did this so everyone would be _happy_.

“Maybe not yet, but when they do…I think they’ll understand.”

His words don’t do much to make her feel better about the idea that the ones she’s tried to protect will eventually turn on her for her decisions, but she tells herself it will be fine. _After all, if they’re safe, then that’s all that matters_.

The snow picks up as Bellamy whistles, the sound echoing through the open land, and everyone begins to move towards the two of them. _They’re our responsibility now_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing something like this so I'd love to hear what you think!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	2. ⋄ Chapter One ⋄

**_Eleven Years Earlier_ ** ****__  
**_November 1, 2132_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_Griffin Residence_**

Clarke wakes up to the sound of her parents milling about in the kitchen down the hall and soft white light filtering in through her curtains. She smiles before she yawns, and then she stretches, rolling out of bed and throwing open her curtains so she can look out at the backyard. _Snow day._ The ground is covered in a white blanket, and there are even ice sickles on her window. _No school!_

Clarke turns on her heel and throws open her door, running towards the kitchen where she can smell her mother making coffee. She skids into view in front of the dining table, and her father raises an eyebrow at her from over his tablet, but when he puts it down, she watches as a smile spreads across his face.

“You won’t get up for school, but you get up for the freezing cold.”

“It’s a _snow day_ , Dad,” Clarke says, trying to make him understand that this isn’t just a “normal day.” It’s the day after Halloween, and there is no school, and she has candy and no homework to do.

“Oh,” her dad says, his smile widening. “I see.”

“Here, Clarke,” her mom turns around from the kitchen counter with a bowl in her hand, “eat some cereal, then you can go outside.”

“I can’t go outside now?” Clarke looks up at her mom, but her mom only shakes her head.

“You need to eat first. At least half.”

“Fine,” she huffs, and takes the seat across from her dad at the table, then her mom leans over and presses a kiss to the top of her head.

Her spoon clinks against the bowl as she tries to scarf down as much as she can as quickly as she can. Even though she spent the night before staying up later than usual eating candy, she doesn’t feel tired at all. Her parents even let her stay up so late because her school had been canceled the day before, so, by all accounts, today is the best day ever. Especially since it’s the first real day of snow. Clarke can hear the other children in her neighborhood begin to yell and cheer as they leave their houses, and she tries to hurry and finish her cereal.

“Done!” She calls, and then she’s pushing off the chair and making a line towards the door, but before she can reach her shoes, an arm comes around her torso, and her feet are lifted off the ground.

“It snows, and suddenly you’re too excited to even tell me good morning,” her dad says, and Clarke laughs as he swings her around in his arms.

“Good morning.” She says as she hangs upside down. “Can I go outside now?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” He chuckles, and then Clarke’s feet are being placed back down on the ground, and she continues her line towards the shoes.

“Don’t forget you’re jacket!” Her mom calls from the kitchen, and Clarke reaches up and grabs her coat off the hook, the sound of the fabric sliding over the metal echoing in her ears.

Then, her dad is there, placing a knitted cap over her head as she tries to pull on her rubber boots. _Snow day. Snow day. Snow day_. It snows every year, but there is just something about the first real snow day that trumps all the others. It’s the way the snow always seems perfect before it gets smushed and begins to mix with the mud and how everything always seems a lot quieter than usual. The first day is always the best.

Clarke jumps up and throws open the door, only to hear her mother calling after her. She doesn’t pay her any attention, though, and she stands at the edge of the steps, looking around at all of the snow that fell the night before.

“Clarke, you need to put another coat on,” her mother says behind her, but Clarke ignores her and jumps into the snow from the second step.

The white fluff crunches under her pink rubber boots, and Clarke smiles as she kicks out at it, loving the sound it makes before she stomps down into it again. Her mom comes up behind her, telling her to lift up her arms as she covers her in another jacket. Immediately she feels a little warmer, but she doesn’t pay much attention to that as she begins to wonder what she wants to do first.

There’s the sound of her parents behind her, but before Clarke can decide on what she wants to do first, her feet leave the ground for a second time as her father picks her up again, and Clarke squeals. The cold air nips at her cheeks, and her eyes water as he throws her over his shoulder. His dark blue coat already has a couple of snowflakes clinging to it as he wades through the snow as he walks in the yard, and Clarke lifts her head up and waves at her mom, who is in the process of pulling on her own jacket. Her mother’s brown hair lifts up in the wind, and the corners of her eyes crinkle as she smiles.

“Don’t drop her,” she calls.

“Since when have I ever dropped her?” Her dad turns around to look at his wife, and Clarke laughs as she swings around in the air. “Hurry up and get your boots on. We have snow to play in.”

Despite not being able to see her father’s face, Clarke can tell that he’s smiling. _He’s always smiling_. In fact, she can never remember a time where he wasn’t. Even when she does something wrong, he never gets angry with her, and it usually ends in both of them laughing. She can’t hear her mom’s response over the sound of the other children in the neighborhood playing, and when she looks over at them, she notices that their parents are outside playing with them, too.

Her dad sets her down, and Clarke smiles up at him, looking into the same blue eyes she knows that she has. Everyone always told them they look alike, with the same blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She grabs his hand, then turns around and looks towards the front of the house where her mom is closing the door, and she motions for her to hurry up and join them.

“So, what do you want to do, sweetheart?” Her dad asks when her mom reaches them, and Clarke grins.

“I want to build Frosty.”

“Then,” her mother smiles, “let’s get to it.”

On the first snow day, every year, they _have_ to build a snowman. It’s a tradition. As much as a tradition it can be given that Clarke can only remember up to two winters ago for the most part. Nevertheless, they always start building the snowman the same way. Her dad gets to work on the bottom ball, her mother on the middle, and Clarke does the top; the three of them lining up and working in the same direction.

The snowman is done relatively quickly, and then Clarke starts trying to find sticks to decorate it. Clarke walks over to the tree that her tire swing is on, taking care to lift her foot entirely out of the snow before stepping so she doesn’t lose her boot again, and then she reaches up towards one of the hanging branches. Since a lot of snow fell, all of the limbs on the trees around her neighborhood are being weighed down by all of it, and this limb is low enough to where she can break off a few twigs.

Her dad appears beside her, breaking off larger pieces for the arms, and then her mom is there picking the black balls that are on the tree. Once the three of them are done, Clarke’s mom holds her up so she can decorate the snowman’s face while her dad puts on the stick arms. _Best snowman ever_.

“Perfect.” Clarke smiles, and her mom gives her a kiss on the cheek.

“Think we did a good job?” Her mom asks, and Clarke nods her head at her before turning back to look at Frosty.

“Uh-huh.”

“I think we did, too.” Her dad smiles, and then Clarke is sliding out of her mom’s arms and running towards the tire swing. It’s beginning to snow even more now, so she knows that she might have to go inside soon, but she really wants to do one thing before that happens.

When she reaches the tire swing, she gathers all of the snow that’s built up on top of it and packs into a ball with her hands. It’s not the biggest snowball ever, but it will definitely do. When she turns around, she watches as her parents talk to each other, her dad having wrapped one of his arms around her mom’s shoulders, and she grins as she throws the snowball at them.

It lands a little short, hitting her dad on the leg, but her parents turn their attention towards her, and before Clarke can run, they’re making snowballs of their own. They have a snowball fight for a little while until her dad calls for a timeout, resting his hands on his hips as he tries to catch his breath.

“Why don’t you go have some fun, and then when you come home, we’ll make some hot chocolate.” Her mom moves some hair that’s been blown into Clarke’s face, and Clarke smiles before turning and running towards the road.

“Watch out for cars,” her dad warns, and Clarke waves over her shoulder before running towards the group of kids gathering in front of her neighbor’s house.

She’s not entirely sure how long she’s out there, but her and the other kids run up and down the road, seeing who can slide the farthest on the ice, and they hold their arms out as they tilt their heads up towards the sky and try and catch the falling snow on their tongues. They talk about the candy they got the night before and what they’re planning on doing tomorrow since it’s going to be another day where they don’t have anything to do except have fun.

Eventually, though, she finds herself walking back towards her house. Her cheeks feel like they’ve been burned by the wind and her throat hurts, but there’s still a smile on her face as she takes off her now coats and her hat and kicks off her boots by the door. The house is warm as she shuffles into the dining room again, and this time both of her parents are in the kitchen.

“Ready for some hot chocolate?” Her mom looks at her, and raises the can of hot chocolate, and Clarke yawns as she nods her head.

She turns and walks into the living room, crawling onto the couch and turning on the television. The news is on, and Clarke scrunches up her nose as she changes the channel, then she settles down, sinking into the cushions. _Maybe I was more tired than I thought_. She yawns for a second time, but she doesn’t get much time to lay down before her mom appears before her and motions for her to sit on the floor as she places the mug of hot chocolate on the coffee table.

Clarke does as she asks and sits down at the coffee table, taking the little bowl of marshmallows that her mom hands her. “Thank you.” She turns her attention back to _Pokémon_ , dumping most of the tiny marshmallows into her drink before eating a couple of them. The sugar tastes better than usual, but she figures that’s because she’s been running around since she woke up, and when she’s finished trying to cool down her drink, she takes a sip. She smiles as the chocolate floods her tastebuds, and then she eats a couple of the marshmallows that have turned soft in the mix.

It’s while she’s sitting there that the smell of cookies begins to fill the house, and Clarke turns and looks towards the kitchen. She can see her dad leaning against the counter as he eats some raw cookie dough, and when he catches her looking her smiles before bringing her some. She grins up at him as she takes it, and then she nibbles on it while she eats her hot chocolate.

“Did you just give her raw cookie dough?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

When she looks into the kitchen again, her dad winks at her over her mom’s shoulder, and Clarke tries to bite back her laugh as she looks back at the cartoons in front of her. The sound of the oven beeping that it’s done overpowers the sound of the show she’s watching, but it’s cut off as quickly as it comes, and then her father appears beside her again, but this time instead of cookie dough, it’s a plate with a cookie on it.

She smiles up at him as she takes it, and her dad kisses the top of her head before heading back into the kitchen. When she picks up the cookie, it begins to fall apart on her, and Clarke hurries to eat some of it before half of it falls back onto the plate. Using her finger, she wipes up some of the chocolate that’s stuck to the pate, and then she picks up the other half. It’s gooey and sticky, and even though her dad only uses pre-packaged cookie dough, he still makes better cookies than her mom.

Clarke can still hear the sound of the other children playing outside, and she’s pretty sure that she’ll go back out and join them, but her mom might make her eat something first, though. _Maybe I could have a rice crispy treat_. She thinks about what she could probably get away with eating as she wipes up more of the chocolate that’s beginning to stick to the plate, but she hasn’t even finished the entire cookie when there’s a knock at the door.

She turns to look at it, wondering if it’s one of the other kids, but then her father is there, and all she can see is his back as he looks out of the peephole before opening it. Clarke can’t hear anything that’s being said, but then her mom walks out of the kitchen and towards her dad and whoever is at the door. She looks from them to her cartoons and then back to her parents.

_I wonder who it is?_

“Of course,” her mother says, her voice lighter than usual, “come in.”

Her parents move out of the way, and then a tall, raven-haired lady walks through the door. Her lips are red, like the color of a candy cane, and she smiles brightly when she looks at Clarke, but Clarke looks from her to her parents. She doesn’t remember ever meeting this woman before, and she sips on her hot chocolate as the woman takes off her gloves and puts them into her pockets. Her coat is the same color as her lips, and there are white snowflakes in her black hair that begin to melt once the door is shut behind her.

The raven-haired woman continues to smile as she walks towards Clarke, and Clarke looks up at her, marveling at how pretty she looked. “Hello, Clarke. My name is Becca.” The woman holds out her hand, and Clarke shakes it, looking once again from the woman to her parents. Her mom and dad smile at her a little, too, nodding their heads slightly, and Clarke looks back at Becca.

“Hi.”

The woman’s brown eyes are bright as she looks at her. “Are you enjoying the snow day?”

“Yeah.” Clarke nods her head. “Are you?”

“Oh, I think so.” The woman, Becca, looks from Clarke to the television where the credits are rolling on the episode she was watching, then she turns her attention back to Clarke. “I’d like to go for a walk in the snow, and I was wondering if you’d like to come with me?”

Once again, Clarke looks at her parents, and they nod their hands for a second time, then Clarke has her jacket and boots back on, and she’s outside before she realizes it. Becca holds her hand as they walk towards the road, and Clarke finds herself looking up at her more and more. She knows that the woman is wearing makeup, but she’s never seen her mom wear makeup like this before.

The freshly fallen snow on the road crunches as they walk, and all of the children that were outside earlier are nowhere to be seen. _They must be eating lunch, too_. She’s happy to be outside, but she’s pretty sure that the woman doesn’t wanting to have a snowball fight like her parents. She seems nice, but she also seems like the people her parents work with.

“Can I ask you a question, Clarke?”

“I guess.” Clarke kicks out at the snow on the road, making her rubber boots scrape against the asphalt.

“Are you happy here?”

“Yeah, I love being here. It’s a lot nicer than our old house.”

“I see.” Becca smiles at her. “That’s good. And you like your school?”

“It’s okay.” Clarke shrugs. “No one really talks to me, though.”

“What about the other kids here in the neighborhood? Do they talk to you?”

“Yeah, they’re nice. We played together earlier.”

They continue to walk, and Clarke is content to just look around at everything. She always loves looking around at the snow and how it changes everything. There isn’t any green aside for a couple of bushes that haven’t been covered entirely by the white substance, and all of the trees are sagging under its weight.

“Do you know why you had to leave your last school?” Becca asks, and Clarke’s eyebrows furrow together for a second.

“My dad says that we had to move for his work. He’s an engineer.”

“Oh, that sounds exciting.” Becca raises her eyebrows.

“Yeah, he’s really smart.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“What do you do?” Clarke glances up at Becca, letting her boots slide across the ice.

“I work with children.”

“Like a teacher?”

“Yes, of sorts.” Becca kneels down then, giving Clarke a better look at her flawless makeup. She doesn’t know much about it, but she always likes watching her mom put it on, though she never put it on like this. “See, I take care of children who are special.”

“How are they special?”

Becca purses her lips for a second before looking around and leaning towards her. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Mhm.” Clarke nods her head.

“I work with magical kids.”

“Magical?” Clarke echoes, her eyebrows rising, and Becca nods her head.

“Yeah.” She smiles. “Do you want to know something else? You’re magical, too.”

“I am?”

“ _Very_.” Becca reaches out and takes Clarke’s other hand, still smiling. “I take care of exceptional children who need a little more protection than the other children.”

“Protection?”

“Something you have to understand, Clarke, is there is something very special about you, and there are people who are scared of it but others who want to use it. I want to take care of children like you to protect you. We play games and learn things, and I make sure that the children get the life they deserve since their families can’t always protect them.”

“Do the kids ever go back to their family?”

“When they’re older and have learned to keep their magic a secret,” Becca explains. “And the reason why I’m here today, Clarke, is because I want to ask you if you would like to come back with the other children I take care of and me.”

“L—leave my mom and dad?” Clarke’s bottom lip begins to wobble, but Becca squeezes her hands and smiles softly at her.

“You could still send them letters and pictures, but you would be able to live your life in safety if you were to come with me. Not to mention you would be surrounded by other children who are going through the same thing you are. Who have had to move and start over because of others not understanding what it means to be special. And, like I said, you could come back and be with your parents when you’re older.”

At that, Clarke looks back down the road and towards her house, not really realizing just how far the two of them have walked, and she thinks about what Becca has said. _We had to move because of me?_ Her parents didn’t tell her that. She thought that her dad got a better job. _He said that he would be able to spend more time with us._ She didn’t want her parents to have to move because of her. She knows that her mom really liked their old house, but she didn’t seem upset at Clarke that they had to move.

“Would they be okay with me leaving?” The thought of leaving isn’t a happy one, but she doesn’t want her parents to suffer because of her.

Becca nods. “They want you to be happy, and I think you’d be happy with us.” Clarke blinks at her a couple of times, wondering if she could be happy there, and Becca holds onto her hand tighter as she smiles. “Do you want to come live with us and meet the other children like you?”

_If my parents are okay with it…_

“Yeah,” Clarke said after a moment. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” Becca grins. “Me, too.”

They began the walk back to her house then, and Clarke found herself excited to get to go to a different place and meet other kids who were like her. All of her life, she remembered feeling like she didn’t belong exactly, but then this lady was telling her that she would get to meet others like her that felt the same way. She didn’t even go back into her house after that. Her bags were already packed away into the car by the time they arrived back at her house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Becca has made an appearance! 
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	3. ⋄ Chapter Two ⋄

**_November 1, 2132  
In-transit_ **

The leather seats in the sleek white car are soft as Clarke runs her hands over the material while she looks out the window. The houses and buildings that they drive by are white blurs sometimes interrupted by neon lights from billboards and _Open_ signs hanging in the windows, but it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before. _I wonder what the house will look like_. On the walk back to her parents, Becca told her that the house was big and that it had a large yard that all of the kids could run around in, but she doesn’t know what it will actually be.

“Are you nervous, Clarke?”

Clarke turns her attention from the window to Becca and she takes a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “Yeah,” she admits. “I’ve never been really good at making friends.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” Becca asks, and Clarke nods her head. “I’ve never been good at making friends, either.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. It can be scary but, like I said, you’ll be meeting children just like you, so don’t feel too worried, okay?”

“Okay.” Clarke looks straight ahead at the back of the chair in front of her, kicking her feet out a little. “Did my parents know you were coming?”

Becca looks over at her, the corner of her mouth turning up as she turns in her seat slightly. “Yes, they knew I was coming.”

“But, they didn’t tell me.”

“From my experience, most parents never really know what to say.” Becca turns even more in the seat, facing Clarke fully. “I’m sure you’re curious about what is going on so, tell me, have you ever heard of _nightblood_?”

Had she? She’s heard teachers talking when they think no one is paying attention, usually about something that was going on with other adults but sometimes with was kids, and whenever they talked about another student they always mentioned night-something.

“I don’t remember.”

“Well,” Becca folds her hands in her lap and leans forward slightly, “ _nightblood_ is what you are. What you have.”

“What is it?”

“It means special blood.”

“Like magical?” Clarke’s eyes widen a fraction as she looks at the woman, and Becca only continues to smile at her.

“Yes, magical blood.”

“How?”

“Well, that’s the thing,” Becca settles back into the seat a little, still looking at Clarke, “no one knows for sure. The only thing most people know is that those who have the magical blood are not like the rest of them. For some, they’re fascinated by it but with others, they’re scared.”

“Why would they be scared?”

“Because you’re different.”

 _Different._ Clarke had heard that word a lot more than the one that Becca had said. It was usually in the context of how everyone was _different_ from each other, but it was never said in a way that set Clarke apart from the other kids in her class. _I’m going to meet other kids that are like me now_.

“Being different is a bad thing?” Clarke asks, looking up at Becca, and the woman presses her lips together for a moment before leaning forward.

“Being different is what makes you, you. The world would be boring if everyone was the same.”

“Are you different?”

Becca smiles at her then. “Yes, I am. Which means I understand what you and your family have had to go through, and that I understand the importance of keeping you safe.”

“So, my parents will be safe?”

“Yeah, Clarke,” Becca reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, “they’ll be safe.”

~

The house that Becca brings her to is much larger than her parents house and when she looks out of the window at it, she has to crane her neck up to see to the top of it. _It looks like a castle_. The outside of the house is dark red brick that has a little bit of blackness that’s beginning to gather in the spaces between them. She has to crane her neck up and up to see the top of the house, but it’s not like it’s as big as her school or anything. It’s just a really big fancy house. Like some of the houses her parents have brought her to for work stuff. _It looks like a castle._

The car comes to a stop at the front door and then Becca is pulling on her coat as the driver gets out to open her door and Clarke takes that as her cue to open her door, too, as she pulls on her gloves. The air is colder here and even though she’s not sure just how far they drove, the mountains are closer now and she held her breath as they passed through two different tunnels. Her boots grate against the gravel that lines the driveway as she spins around to take in the rest of the land around her, but then Becca is there holding out her hand.

“Are you ready to meet the others?” She asks, and Clarke stops her spinning and looks up at her.

“I think so.” She can feel nerves beginning to rise within her, like when it’s the first day of school and she’s worried about walking in the classroom.

Becca kneels in front of her, smiling. “You’re nervous, right?” Clarke doesn’t speak but nods her head. “Well, everyone else was really nervous, too. So, don’t worry, okay? They’re here for the same reason you are.”

“To be safe.”

“Yeah,” Becca nods her head, “to be safe.”

Clarke nods her head, too, before taking a deep breath and looking back at the front door. _I can do this. The other kids are like me. We’ll be friends_. Becca’s hand squeezes her and Clarke looks back up at her, nodding her head for a second time before Becca guides her up the stairs. There aren’t any hand rails to hold onto even though there is ice covering them in random patches so Clarke holds Becca’s hand tighter until they reach the top. The doors seem daunting as she looks up at them, covered in glass and metal and the only thing that is separating her from the other children.

Becca doesn’t ask if she’s ready for a second time as her leather-covered hand grabs the doorknob then pushes the door open, and suddenly warm air surrounds her, pushing away the chilliness of the winter weather. Clarke moves behind Becca’s arm when she hears the sound of others talking, but then Becca moves and wraps her arm around her shoulders before propelling both of them into the house.

The voices get louder but the cold of the outside melts away as Clarke looks around at the big open area in front of her that’s being bathed in yellow light. There’s a table with flowers on it a few feet in front of her and then there are two large staircases that line the walls on either side and Clarke’s eyes widen at the large chandelier that’s hanging above them.

“It’s really pretty,” she says softly, and Becca squeezes her shoulder.

“You like it?”

“Yeah.” Clarke’s mouth is agape as she continues to look around, and the sound of children’s voices gets louder.

“We’re about to have dinner, but why don’t I show you up to your room?”

“Will I get to meet the other kids?”

“Depends. You could have dinner with us or take the night to get settled in and I can have food brought up to your room.” Becca removes her arm so she can take off her jacket, and then someone is behind Clarke and taking her coat, too. It surprises her at first, but some of her dad’s friends would have people at their houses to take her coat so she relaxes a little.

“Okay.”

The railing on the stairs is smooth, dark wood and Clarke takes off her gloves to touch it with her hand as they walk. Even though the stairs are covered with a carpet, her footsteps still echo as they go up and up and up, and even more so when they reach the first floor. But, they don’t stop there and then they take the stairs to a second floor, and then a third where Becca guides Clarke to the right and down a large hall.

“Even though this is a large house, you’ll have two roommates since most of the rooms have different purposes. They can tell you how things operate and—”

“Bellamy!” Becca calls towards a boy that’s running down the hall, and Clarke can feel herself stiffen as her heart rate picks up.

 _This is the first person I’ll meet_.

The boy stops at the sound of Becca’s voice and Clarke takes a deep breath and pulls her shoulders back as the boy, Bellamy, walks towards them. As he gets closer Clarke notices how much taller he is than her and he has black, curly hair that she’s sure her mom would say needs to be brushed.

“What are you doing up here?”

“I was going to help Octavia do her hair,” he says, looking up at Becca, and Clarke tries to take the little boy in.

His skin is darker than hers and he has a lot of freckles covering his face, and when he looks at her she notices that his eyes are a deep, dark brown that reminds her of her dad’s coffee. She has to tilt her head back to look at his face properly.

“Oh? Perfect. I was just going to show Clarke to her room but I think it might be more comfortable for you to show her since she’ll be Octavia and Harper’s new roommate.”

Bellamy doesn’t look at Clarke as Becca tells him that she’s going to go check on dinner and that he should answer any questions that Clarke has, and when Becca smiles down at her and squeezes her shoulder before turning and making her way back down the stairs, Clarke can feel herself grow even more nervous.

When the woman disappears, Bellamy doesn’t say anything as he turns around and Clarke moves to follow him, though she’s not sure which room is going to be hers. She has to jog to keep up with him, since she’s smaller than he is, and when she reaches his side she glances up at him.

“I’m Clarke.”

“I know.”

Clarke nearly trips over her own feet as she tries to keep up, but she manages it. Barely. “How old are you?”

“Nine.” _That’s why he’s so tall._

“I’m seven.” Bellamy doesn’t say anything to that, so Clarke keeps going. “How long have you been here?”

“Three years.”

“And do you like it?”

Before Bellamy can answer, he takes a left and walks towards a big wooden door that has _Octavia_ and _Harper_ on it and then he knocks before opening it. Inside, the walls are painted a soft blue and there are two beds pressed against the walls and a third by the door that Clarke nearly bumps into. On the beds are two girls, one with dark brown hair and the other blonde, like Clarke, and the two of them look up when they walk in.

“Bell!” The brown-haired girl says, smiling. “Can you braid it?”

“Sure.” Bellamy doesn’t say anything else to Clarke as he moves to take the brush that the other girl is holing out to him, and Clarke begins to wonder if they’re related.

“Who are you?” The blonde girl asks and Clarke looks towards her, her eyes widening a little.

“I’m Clarke,” she says, trying to keep her hands from shaking. “I’m supposed to be your new roommate.”

“Seriously?” The other girl, who she’s assuming is Octavia, grins. “Yes! Now we can have a sleepover.”

“And it’ll be every night,” the blonde adds. “I’m Harper.”

“I’m Octavia,” the brunette says. “And Bellamy is my brother. That’s why he’s allowed in here.”

Clarke looks towards the boy again but he doesn’t look at her as he brushes out his sister’s hair, and Clarke can’t help but feel a little sad at the fact that he seems to not like her. He didn’t want to talk to her and he also didn’t tell anyone who she was, but Becca didn’t exactly ask him to do that. _At least Octavia and Harper seem nice_. When she looks away from him, Clarke turns around and looks at the bed that she saw by the door. There are white sheets on it but no blanket, and a single pillow. She even notices that her bags are already under it.

“Is that my bed?”

“Yeah!” There’s the sound of a mattress squeaking and then Harper appears beside her. “You can decorate it however you want and Becca will ask you what kind of blanket you want. She shows you pictures and you can choose whichever one you want.”

“Really?” Clarke’s eyebrows raise as she looks at the other girl. “Whichever one?”

“Uh-huh. And if you ask nicely they’ll even let you change the wall color.”

“Wow.”

“It’s nice,” Octavia says, and Clarke turns to look at her. Bellamy is almost done braiding her hair, but it makes her wonder why Bellamy is the one braiding it and not Harper or Becca. “We’ve been here for three years and it’s fun.”

From how small Octavia is, Clarke knows that she has to be around her age because she doesn’t look big enough to be nine like her brother, but she also seems a little smaller than her. Looking at Harper, Clarke notices that the two of them are around the same height, and she begins to wonder how old the other children are. _How many other children are there?_ There were a lot of voices when she and Becca first walked in, but the only person she saw was Bellamy.

“How old are the two of you?” She asks, looking between the two girls.

“I’m seven,” Harper says.

“I’m six.”

Clarke turns to look at Octavia. “Are you the youngest here?”

“No, that’s Charlotte. She’s two.”

“And they know she’s special?” Clarke asks, and Harper moves to sit back down on her bed.

“Yeah, they have to know that to bring you here.”

“How do they find out?”

“I’m not sure,” Harper says, her eyebrows knitting together. “But we can stay up here and talk and Bex will get someone to bring us food.”

“Bex?”

“Becca,” Octavia clarifies.

“Alright, you’re done.” Bellamy moves from behind Octavia and goes to climb off the bed and his little sister pulls her two braids over her shoulders.

“Thank you.”

“Uh-huh.” Bellamy pats the top of Octavia’s head and she swats it away. “Don’t forget to brush your teeth before you go to bed.”

“I _know_ ,” Octavia sighs, rolling her eyes, and then she’s pushing her brother away from her bed. “Go eat and let us talk to Clarke.”

“You could talk to her with me here, you know.”

“Nuh-uh.” Octavia gets off her bed, too, and starts pushing her brother towards the door, and Clarke watches as Bellamy begins to smile as he leans back against his sister’s hands.

“Gotta push me out.”

“You’re too heavy.”

“Not my fault you’re tiny.”

Clarke can’t help the smile that starts to form on her face as she watches Octavia huff and then shove her brother out of the door before closing it tightly behind him. Their interactions are different from the ones that she’s had with her friends at school, but she also doesn’t know what it’s like to live here or to have been here for three years. _They seem happy_. Despite the way that Bellamy didn’t seem like he wanted to talk to Clarke, she can see already that he’s there for his sister. After all, he did come to braid her hair.

Once the door is shut and Octavia is back on her bed, she pats the spot beside her and Clarke bounces on her feet for a second before she goes to sit beside her. The bed is softer than she expected, but it doesn’t sink in with her weight like her bed at home did. _Home_. Her thoughts drift to her parents and she wonders if she’ll be able to talk to them later tonight. Becca didn’t say that she _couldn’t_ talk to them, but that they would be safe if she came to live here.

“Do the two of you talk to your parents?” Clarke asks, and the two girls look at each other before looking at her.

“I talk to my dad sometimes,” Harper says. “But they say it’s not safe to talk to them too much.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Octavia says softly. “Bellamy and I don’t have parents but we know we couldn’t talk to each other if we both weren’t here.”

“Are there more siblings here?”

“No, it’s just us.”

 _Huh_. “Do you two like it here?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. The house is really big so we can run around without getting into trouble.”

“What do you do?”

Becca said that her roommates would be able to tell her how things run here, and as she looks at the two girls sitting around her, Clarke feels a little calmer as they smile. It’s going to be a change for her, and she knows that, but she has a feeling that if she has two people like Harper and Octavia, then it won’t be so bad.

The two girls begin running through what a normal day is like for them, from waking up for breakfast to getting on the bus to go to school and the different things that they’re able to do with their free time. She learns that the castle has a lake, and a playground, and every month or so the adults will take them camping higher up in the mountains where they can go hiking and sit around campfires. Apparently Becca wants them to have a normal school experience, so they all get on a bus to go to a school that’s been remodeled for them, and then they take the bus home when their classes are done, but that doesn’t explain why the castle has so many rooms.

“One of them is for ballet, and then the fourth floor is like a big library,” Harper explains. “But some of them are filled with boxes and stuff.”

“Yeah, and there’s a big T.V. on the first floor where—”

Octavia is cut off by a knock at the door and when the three of them turn to look at it as it opens, Becca walks in with a tray in her hands followed by two more adults. They don’t have the same dark hair that she does, but they both have kind smiles and grin at the three of them.

“I figured all of you would want to stay up here.”

“We’ve been telling Clarke about school,” Harper says as she gets up and takes the tray from the brown-haired man. “And the ballet room.”

“Oh, wonderful.” Becca turns her dark eyes towards Clarke after setting the tray of food down on the nightstand next to her bed. “You can check it out tomorrow since there’s no school.”

“Do you have an art room?” Clarke asks, looking from Becca to the food, and she gets up to move towards it. The little bit of cereal she had this morning and then the cookie and sandwich have disappeared and her stomach growls.

“Yes, we do. It’s on the second floor,” Becca says, also setting a blanket down on her bed.

“I can show her,” Octavia says, her own tray being placed on her nightstand.

“How sweet of you, Octavia.” Becca smiles at the little girl before looking at Clarke and Harper. “Well, I’ll let the three of you get back to talking, but remember lights out in two hours, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Octavia and Harper say in unison, and Clarke nods her head.

With that, Becca and the two other adults leave, the door shutting with a click behind them, and Clarke turns back to the food that’s in front of her. It’s spaghetti with buttery garlic bread and a small salad, and Clarke wrinkles her nose. She’s never liked salad, even when her dad said he would give her chocolate for eating a little bit of it she never wanted to. She sits on the edge of her bed and picks up the fork, looking at the two other girls. Both of them are sitting on the floor as they get ready to eat and they look up at Clarke before motioning towards the empty spot beside them. She picks up her tray, careful not to spill any of the water that’s on her tray and sits down on the floor, too, and the three of them begin to eat.

~

Later, once Clarke has been shown where the bathroom is and she’s brushed her teeth, the lights are turned out and Clarke is tucked away in her new bed. Her blanket is pulled up to her chin as she stares up at the ceiling. _I wonder if mom and dad are worried about me_. She wants to tell them that she’s fine, and that she’ll see them again some day, but she doesn’t know when Becca will let her talk to them. _Maybe if I ask, she’ll let me_ , Clarke wonders. After all, Harper said that she was able to talk to her dad every now and then, and since today was the first day, then maybe she’ll be able to tell her parents she arrived safely.

Clarke turns over, pulling the blanket up and over her head to try and get rid of the light that’s coming through the window. _Things will be fine_. _They’ll be fine. They’ll be fine_. She has two new friends now, and from what they’ve told her it’s a fun place to live. _It’s like a big playground,_ Octavia had said. _It definitely sounds like it’ll be fun_. As she closes her eyes, Clarke can hear the wind whistling outside, and the rustling of the leaves. _It’s going to be fine_. She repeats the words over and over again to try and convince herself but, even so, she can’t help the tears that begin to roll down her cheeks and onto her pillow.

She tries to stay silent so she doesn’t wake up Harper or Octavia, but the two girls must have been expecting this because before Clarke knows it, the two of them are climbing into her bed, too. They tell her that it will be okay, and Harper tells her how hard it was for her to leave her dad, but it was for the best. She had to protect him, just how Clarke has to protect her parents, too. She’s not sure how long the three of them lay there but, eventually, Clarke is able to fall asleep and she dreams about her parents and her new house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, she's starting to meet everyone :)
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	4. ⋄ Chapter Three ⋄

**_November 3, 2132  
The Castle_ **

The next morning when Clarke wakes up, she can hear a bunch of people running up and down the hallway and the sounds of doors opening and closing. The pale sunlight lights up the room and Clarke feels like she’s been placed in front of a heater. On either side of her is Harper and Octavia, both of them still sound asleep despite the rising noise just outside their door. _I’ll get to meet more people today_.

There’s the sound of something big hitting the floor with a loud _thud_ and that causes the other two girls to stir, yawning and stretching before they look at Clarke. “What was that?” Octavia asks, and Clarke shrugs.

“I don’t know. I just woke up.”

“There’s no school so that means snow day!” Harper says, rolling off the side of the bed and standing. “Clarke, you have to come play with us.”

“Okay.” Clarke sinks down in her bed a little more, the nerves from the day before coming back. _What if the others don’t like me? Like Bellamy?_

“Are you scared?” Octavia asks, and Clarke stares into the other girl’s green eyes. Looking at her, she can see the resemblance between her and Bellamy, but her hair is brown, not black, and her eyes are green, not brown.

“N-no,” she says, but Harper jumps back onto the bed.

“Everyone will like you! You’re like us, and that’s what matters.”

“Yeah, but Bellamy—”

“Is a butt,” Octavia says with a smile. “He doesn’t like anybody.”

“He likes you.”

“That’s because he has to.” Octavia clambers off the bed at the foot of it, going over the railing. “He just needs some time.”

_Does he?_

The two of them don’t waste any time changing out of their pajamas and grabbing their rubber boots out of the closet, and Clarke gets out of bed, too. She kneels on the floor, pulling out one of her suitcases and unzipping it. By the time they had finished eating dinner she felt exhausted so she didn’t spend much time looking at what her parents packed for her but, now, in the morning light, she doesn’t know if she wants to look.

She lifts the top up and peers down at the contents, noticing all of her sweaters and one of her better jackets. _Why didn’t they tell me I would be leaving?_ Becca said that they knew she was coming and when the two of them got back to her house her parents had already packed up all of her stuff without asking her. She begins to take out a t-shirt, then a long sleeve shirt to put on under it, and a sweatshirt to put on top of that.

“Clarke, are you ready?” Harper asks, and Clarke stands as she pulls on the sweatshirt, then she grabs a pair of sweatpants to pull on over her leggings.

“Yeah, I just need my shoes.”

Harper emerges from the closet with Clarke’s boots from yesterday and hands them to her. “Here you go.”

“Snowball fight in the yard!” Someone yells in the hall, and Clarke jumps.

“Is everyone going to be there?” She asks.

“The big kids usually do their own thing,” Octavia tells her as she pulls on a kitted hat. “But sometimes the adults join us, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Harper grins. “Come on.”

Clarke follows the two girls out of the room after pulling on her boots, but there’s no one else in the hallway. The sunlight is near blinding as it shines through the large window opposite the staircase, and Clarke squints as she looks towards it. There are children playing in the snow below the three of them and, once again, Clarke’s heartrate begins to pick up as she looks down at them.

When she walks out of the backdoor with Harper and Octavia, Clarke realizes just how many children live here. There’s a lot of kids that look around her age throwing snowballs around, and she can see a bunch of older kids walking up a large hill off to the side. She can’t count all of them, but there are definitely more kids that are like her than she realized. _I wonder how many people there are in the world?_

“Iz!” Someone calls, and Clarke turns in their direction as Harper does the same. “Who’s this?” A boy, about their age, appears before them, his dark, almond-shaped eyes looking from Harper to Clarke.

“This is our new roommate, Clarke,” the girl says, smiling at the two of them.

“Hi.” Clarke smiles at him a little, still nervous.

“Hi. I’m Monty.”

“This is Jasper!” Octavia calls, and the three of them turn to look towards Octavia and the shaggy haired boy she’s pulling towards them. “He and Monty came here together.”

“I can’t believe we have another person!” Jasper grins.

“Yeah, now we can take over the big kids.” Monty stuffs his hands in his pockets as his black hair floats up around the rim of his beanie.

“Take over the big kids?” Clarke asks, but before she can get an answer some of the other kids seem to realize that she’s new because the five of them begin to get surrounded.

She meets a few other people, trying to run through everyone’s names in her head as soon as she hears them, but eventually she realizes that she won’t be able to remember all of them immediately. Bellamy appears, too, with two other boys and despite the look on Bellamy’s face, one of his friends smiles.

“Hi, I’m Nate, but everyone calls me Miller.”

“Clarke.”

The other friend just snorts and Clarke glances at him, trying to ignore him. “That’s John Murphy, and you’ve already met Bellamy.”

“Yeah, yesterday.” Clarke doesn’t look at Bellamy, but she can see him cross his arms out of the corner of her eye.

“Are you up for a snowball fight?” Miller asks, and Clarke’s eyes widen a little.

“Sure.”

“Perfect! Now we have even teams.” Miller’s smile widens and even though she notices Murphy roll his eyes, she ignores the stab of pain as Harper and Octavia grab her hands and start running through the yard with Jasper following them.

“Bellamy has really good aim,” Octavia tells her as they begin making their snowballs, and more kids join them.

“Murphy just throws hard,” Jasper says, starting on his second snowball. “Don’t let him get your face.”

“What happens if he gets my face?”

“Well, he gave me a black eye.”

No one else reacts to that, or explains further, despite Clarke’s obvious bewilderment, and then she’s standing and getting ready for the snowball fight. Just yesterday she was with her parents, building a snowman and throwing snowballs, but this reminds her of playing with the other kids in the neighborhood. _How different can this be?_ She passes the snowball from one hand to another, taking a deep breath as Bellamy, Murphy, Miller, Monty, and some more of the other kids line up a little ways away.

“Go!” Someone calls, and the first snowball soars through the air.

~

The snowball fight ends, lunch is served, and once again Clarke is surrounded by all of the other kids of the house as they gather in a big open room where more adults are giving out food. Harper and Octavia had told her that they’ll usually sit in this room when they have lunch, but that there’s an actual dining room for when they eat dinner. This room has the large T.V. that Octavia told her about, and there are tables lined along the right wall where the kids can make their own sandwiches, though the younger kids have their sandwiches made for them, and then there are large water coolers with Kool-Aid in them.

Clarke is between Monty and Miller as they go through the line, making their sandwich and getting handed a cup and a bag of chips, and then Jasper is waving the three of them over to where he’s sitting with the rest of their friends. Clarke goes to walk towards them when someone crosses in front of her, nearly knocking her plate out of her hand.

“Watch it, shorty,” Murphy sneers, and Clarke stares up at him, her eyes, wide.

“Come on, Murph—” Miller begins.

“Murphy.” Becca appears beside them, crossing her arms over her chest. “Apologize.”

“Why? It’s not my fault she’s small,” the boy protests, but Becca raises a dark eyebrow at him. Murphy groans. “I’m sorry,” he grumbles towards Clarke.

“It’s okay,” she whispers, and then she walks around him and quickly makes her way towards her roommates.

Her hands shake a little as she sits down, and she can see Octavia glaring over her shoulder at someone, but Clarke doesn’t turn around to find out who. She focuses on her sandwich, tearing it in half as someone kneels beside her.

“Clarke,” Becca says, and she looks up at her. “When you’re done eating can you come see me, please?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Her voice is still quiet when she speaks, but Becca only smiles at her before nodding towards the rest in her group, and then she disappears.

“She’s probably going to get you to pick out your bed set,” Octavia says, taking a bite of her sandwich.

“And you might get to call your parents,” Jasper adds, smiling, but then Monty nudges him. “What?”

“Will I get to talk to my parents?” Clarke asks, and the others around her look at each other.

“We never know when we’ll get to talk to our parents,” Miller says softly. “If you just got here then someone may have been keeping an eye on you.”

“What?” Clarke’s heartbeat is loud in her ears as she looks at him, her hands beginning to sweat. “How do you know that?”

“The older you get, the more you get told,” Monty says.

“You’re scaring her, Nate,” Harper hisses, and Clarke looks at her. She can feel tears beginning to prick the corners of her eyes, and a tightness forming in her throat like last night when she thought about her parents.

“I don’t mean to scare you,” Miller says, but Clarke can barely hear him over the sound of her heart beating. “Hey—”

“It’s okay,” Clarke says, begging her voice not to break. Becca explained to her that her parents would be safe now that she’s gone, and there wasn’t anyone on the street when Becca showed up yesterday.

 _Yesterday_. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours yet. _They’re fine_ , she tells herself. She doesn’t say anything more as she tries to eat her sandwich, even though she can feel everyone’s eyes on her. When she looks up, her gaze settles on Bellamy, and she wants to shrink away from him, too. _He looks angry_. She doesn’t know why. Or why he doesn’t like her. By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense. Of course, when you’re a new student at a new school no one really talks to you but here she has Harper and Octavia, and now Monty, Jasper, and Miller. But Murphy and Bellamy don’t seem to like her at all.

Once she’s done eating, Clarke tells everyone that she’ll try and find them once she’s done talking to Becca, and then she goes and throws away her trash. She asks one of the adults, an older lady with gray hair, where Becca’s office is and the woman points her down the far hall. Walking through the foyer, Clarke is amazed, once again, at how big everything looks. Now, she can watch the chandelier hanging above her reflect the sunlight and it casts rainbows across the dark wood and pale walls. Her footsteps still echo but not as much as the day before since the sound of everyone talking drowns them out a little, but they echo all the same.

When she reaches Becca’s door she knocks, and the woman calls her in. Her office is the same dark wood that can be found throughout the rest of the house, but her desk is made of glass and metal, reminding her of the car she came here in. The door closes softly behind her and Becca smiles, taking off her glasses and motioning for Clarke to take a seat in front of her. The chairs are large and white, and Clarke has to climb onto it to sit properly, but when she’s settled Becca leans onto the desk, looking her over.

“I’m sorry about Murphy,” she says, sighing. “He’s mean to everyone when he doesn’t know them but I’ve made sure that he knows not to do something like that again.” Clarke doesn’t know what to say, so she just nods. “On a different note, I have some things for you to look at. It’s my fault for not bringing them with me yesterday, but I’m assuming Octavia and Harper told you about the bed set?”

“Yeah, they did.”

“Wonderful.” Becca smiles as she hands Clarke a booklet, and Clarke thumbs it open, scanning the page. “You can pick whichever one you want and I’ll have it here soon. You don’t have to choose right now, but whenever you think you’ve found the one you want you should let me know.”

As she looks down at the page, all of the comforters seem pretty, but she liked the one she had at home. She doesn’t wonder if she could find one similar, or if she would even want a similar one, but then her mind is wandering again and she closes the magazine. Clarke looks up at Becca who’s already gazing at her, her dark eyes shining in the sun.

“Could I—” she begins, trying to keep herself from tearing up again. “When could I talk to my parents?”

Becca continues to look at her for a beat before pressing her lips together and then she leans forward again. “I know how much you must miss them,” Becca says softly. “Believe me, I know, but we have to make sure that things are safe first.”

“How do you know?” Clarke sniffles, her tears getting caught in her pale eyelashes. The same color as her father’s.

“I send my coworkers to check on them and make sure that they’re okay.” Becca grabs a tissue from the box on her desk and stands, walking towards the empty seat next to Clarke and sitting down as she hands it to her. “Your parents did the right thing and let you come early, so there is less of a chance of someone keeping an eye on them now.”

“Why?” Clarke tries to wipe away the tears that are falling now, but she can’t keep up with them. _I want to talk to my parents_.

“Remember how I told you that some people are afraid of you?” She nods, blowing her nose in the tissue. “Well, like how I want to help all of you, there are some people who want to keep you from realizing your potential. The longer it takes for me to arrange a time to pick up those of you who are special, the more time those other people have to find you, too.”

 _Find us? And do what?_ Much like some of the other things that have happened today, Becca’s words only make Clarke want to cry more. She wants her parents to be safe but she also wants to talk to them. She wants to hear her dad telling her that everything is going to be okay and her mom telling her that she loves her. She wants them to tell her that coming here is what’s for the best, for all of them. She doesn’t want to feel like she’s alone with her parents not being able to talk to her.

“Listen, Clarke,” Becca reaches out, wrapping an arm around Clarke’s shoulders, “since I was able to pick you up yesterday, that means that the other people haven’t had time to find you since the three of you just moved. Your parents are fine, but we need to give it some time before you contact them, just in case someone does find them.”

“How do you know someone wasn’t watching us already?” Clarke’s voice is hoarse from crying, but she tries to calm herself down now as she repeats what Becca told her.

_Your parents are fine._

_Your parents are fine._

_Your parents are fine_.

“Will you believe me if I told you that I have my ways?” Clarke looks up at her, her eyes stinging, and Becca pulls her in for a hug. “Give it six days, okay?”

_Six days?_

“Six days,” Becca repeats, “and I’ll let you call your parents first thing in the morning. How does that sound?”

“Six days and we’ll know that they’re safe?”

“Yes. Six days and we’ll know that they’re safe.” Becca wipes away a few of Clarke’s tears that are still falling. “Now, I’m sure your tired so why don’t you go up to your room and I’ll let your friends know that you’re going to take a nap.”

Clarke stays silent as she nods and then she slides off the chair. Becca gets up, too, her arm still wrapped around her shoulders as they walk towards the door of her office, the magazine still in Clarke’s hand. Now, the pounding in her head is only worse and her eyes feel puffy, but Clarke forces herself to say thank you to Becca before dragging her feet towards the stairs.

If she’s being honest, she didn’t feel all that rested from the night before, and now she feels even more exhausted. The stairs seem to take forever and when she finally gets to the second floor she can’t seem to get to the room fast enough. She wants to take a nap and wake up feeling better. Six days does seem like a long time, but she knows that it’s what has to be done. Just like her leaving is what had to be done.

When she opens the door to the room, she kicks off her boots and tugs of her wet clothes, and then she places the magazine on her nightstand before crawling into bed. The blanket they gave her last night is soft, but it’s small and thin and she misses how big her comforter used to be. She misses the glow-in-the-dark stickers that were on her ceiling and the pictures that were hanging up of her and her parents.

 _Did they send a picture with me?_ Curious, Clarke peers over the side of the bed and down at her suitcase, and she digs through it. She thinks back on when they were moving and how her mom didn’t feel comfortable packing her wedding picture so she put it in a suitcase between a bunch of clothes and—Clarke’s hand hits something hard, and her heart skips a beat as she moves a sweater sees her parents faces staring back at her. It’s a picture of the three of them on Clarke’s birthday a couple of months ago, and more tears roll down her cheeks as she settles back into the bed.

Her finger runs over her father’s face, his blonde hair shining in the summer sun and his blue eyes as bright as her own. Her mother’s brown hair is pulled back into a bun and she’s smiling so wide that her eyes barely look like they’re open and, between her parents, is Clarke. Her face was red from having been out in the sun all day, and her blonde hair was sticking up in every direction possible because of the wind, but they’re all smiling at the camera.

She remembers that day and how happy she had been, getting to go to the beach for the first time this year, and more tears wet her cheeks as she rolls over and pulls the picture towards her chest. _They’re okay. I’ll get to talk to them soon._ She repeats those words to herself over and over again before finally drifting off into a fitful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	5. ⋄ Chapter Four ⋄

**_November 4, 2132  
The Castle_ **

Clarke wakes to her new room being bathed in black with not even the light from the moon being able to break through it, and the sound of the door opening and closing softly. She doesn’t know how long she’s been asleep, but she realizes that she must have slept through dinner. _Though, if someone just left, it can’t be that late. Can it?_ She looks over at Harper’s bed, wondering if she can make out the other girl sleeping, but she can’t see anything. She can’t see if Octavia is in her bed either and begins to wonder if they’re even there at all.

She rolls onto her back, her side hitting something hard. When she reaches for the picture frame, remembering that it _is_ a picture frame, she looks at it for a moment, though not able to actually see anything, and then she turns and places it on her nightstand beside the magazine. She yawns, covering her mouth with her hand to keep from making much noise, then her stomach growls. It’s late and she doesn’t know where her roommates are but she’s pretty sure everyone else is asleep, and she’s hungry and she has to use the bathroom and she’s not sure she can wait until sunrise.

She knows where the bathroom is on the second floor, but she doesn’t know where the kitchen is or if she would even be able to get into it to begin with. So, she could use the bathroom but she doesn’t know how dark the hallway is and she doesn’t exactly _like_ the darkness. She lays there, wondering what the best thing for her to would be. She could try waking up Harper or Octavia, assuming that they’re actually in their beds a few feet away from her and tell them that she’s hungry and ask them where the kitchen is, or she could brave the dark and try and find it herself and hope that she can at least get another sandwich.

Decision made, Clarke kicks her covers back and slowly slides off the bed so she doesn’t make as much noise, and then she puts on her slippers that are sitting on the floor by her nightstand and moves towards the door. The heavy wood doesn’t creak as it opens and Clarke notices that the hallway isn’t as dark as she thought it would be. If she were home, she could turn on the hall light and her parents would get upset with her, but with so many other people sleeping around her, she knows she probably shouldn’t do that here.

She shuts her bedroom door quietly and then places her hand on the wall as she turns to her left and makes her way towards the bathroom. It’s larger than that of a regular house bathroom, but Harper told her that they did a lot of work to the house so they could fit more people into it, though it’s still not as big as her old school bathroom.

On her way towards the stairs she stays to the side of the hallway, running her hand over the wall once more. As she nears the stairs she looks out of the large window to her right, watching the moon appear from behind gray clouds before it’s covered again. She’s careful not to make much noise as she walks towards the first floor, but her slippers keep her footsteps from echoing unlike her other shoes. The entire house is silent to the point of being scary, but she knows that anything she comes up with is just in her mind.

Once she reaches the first floor she stops, biting at her bottom lip as she tries to figure out which way to go. _If Becca’s office is to the left, and that’s the front door and those lead outside, then where would the kitchen be?_ She looks to her right, staring at the black hallway that has the room she at lunch in. _Would it be down there?_ She moves from in front of the stairs and towards the center of the large, open room. _Could the kitchen be in the basement?_

As she begins to wonder if this place even _has_ a basement, the sound of something shuffling and the hushed whispers of someone talking freezes Clarke where she’s at. The hairs on the back of her neck stand up and the fear that she’s going to get into trouble begins to take over her body as the low voices grow closer, and then—

“Clarke,” Harper whispers, and Clarke lets out a slow, deep breath at her friend’s voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Clarke tries to say, but her throat is dry and her voice comes out as more of a croak.

“We were going to surprise you with hot chocolate.” Jasper comes into view, too, out of the darkness, followed by Monty and Octavia.

“And some cookies,” Octavia says, holding up a zip-lock bag. “You know, ‘cause you didn’t eat dinner.”

Clarke takes the cup of hot chocolate that Harper hands her and she smiles, the pain from earlier ebbing away as she looks at her new friends. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Jasper bounces on the balls of his feet before motioning towards the stairs. “We should get back up to the room.”

With that, everyone begins making their way back up the stairs and suddenly the dark hallway doesn’t seem as daunting to Clarke. The five of them slip back to the room Clarke shares with the other girls and then they all spread out on the floor, passing the bag of cookies around as they all sip on their hot chocolate.

“I thought that boys weren’t supposed to be in here?” Clarke whispers, blowing on her drink, and Harper and Octavia shrug.

“You were sad, we weren’t about to just not bring you hot chocolate,” Jasper says, and Clarke can feel a smile beginning to pull at the corners of her lips.

“Yeah, what kind of people would we be?” Monty eyebrows knit together as he looks at her, and Clarke laughs softly as she reaches over to take a cookie out of the bag that’s sitting in Octavia’s lap.

“Do you bring hot chocolate to all of your friends?”

“Yep. Even Murphy. Though, he can be—”

“Mean?” Clarke finishes, and Jasper smirks.

“Definitely.”

The five of them sit around the bedroom eating cookies and drinking their hot chocolate for at least an hour, if Clarke had to guess, and by the time Monty and Jasper leave, she feels happier. It’s the littlest thing that they could have done, but the fact that they’re people she just met and they knew she was upset and decided to try and make her feel better _does_ make her feel better. It’s the kind of thing her dad would have done for her if he thought that she needed it. Waking her up while her mom sleeps so they could sneak ice cream and then going back to bed like it never happened.

So, as Clarke lays there that night, she feels like the pressure that was on her chest earlier is gone now. For the most part. Harper and Octavia are back in their own beds now, not piled into her bed with her, and Clarke turns and faces the wall, pulling her blanket up and over her head. _They all know what it’s like to come here,_ she tells herself. _They’ve had to leave their families, too. Not just me. Becca said that she also had to leave her family. They know how hard it is_. And, with that, Clarke can feel herself beginning to sleep back into sleep. The thought that she’s not alone following her into her dreams

~

The next day goes much like the day before, with Clarke waking up to people milling around in the hall followed by Octavia and Harper getting up, too. This time, they make their way into the dining room where breakfast is being served, and Clarke follows her two friends to a table in the back right corner next to the windows where Bellamy is sitting with Miller, Monty, Jasper, and Murphy. She learned last night that Miller and Murphy are nine, like Bellamy, but Monty and Jasper are eight. Apparently Monty and Jasper are the only two people to have known each other before they were brought here that aren’t related, and Octavia and Bellamy are the only siblings. Though, if they looked alike, Clarke would believe that Jasper and Monty were siblings, too.

Everyone at the table talks while they eat, and Clarke finds that she’s really hungry despite all of the cookies and hot chocolate that she drank earlier. She tucks into the grits that are in front of her, and then the eggs, until eventually everything is gone and the rest of the people within the room are beginning to make their way out to start their second day out of class. Clarke still doesn’t know what it’ll be like to go to school with everyone here, or what classes she’s going to be in to begin with, but Harper said that she would help her wherever she needs it.

She follows her friends out of the dining room and back up to their bedroom so they can change into clothes fit for the snow, and then Clarke is outside again. The cold air blows straight into her face and she tries to curl away from it, but that doesn’t help. The adults told them that it was probably going to storm so they would have to keep a look out in case the weather began to get bad, but right now the sun is still slightly visible through the clouds.

“Clarke!” Monty sidles up beside her. “Want to go on a walk with us?” 

“Sure. Where are we going?”

“To the lake.”

The lake is tucked away behind that large hill she saw some of the big kids walking up the day before, and by the time she reaches the top of it she has to stop to catch her breath. The dark water looks almost black compared to the white snow that’s on its edges. The wind is stronger up here and Clarke pulls her jacket hood tighter over her head before following the others down towards the water.

Bellamy, Miller, and Murphy are there already, the three of them searching the banks. Miller notices them first and he smiles at the five of them before turning his attention back to the spot on the ground he was looking at, but then Bellamy notices them and motions for Octavia to come look at something. The others break off and begin walking around, and Clarke does the same, taking in the area around her. The trees are tall and bare with some of their wider limbs holding little mounds of snow and the tips of their smaller limbs capped in ice. It reminds her of the cabin that her parents brought her to last winter, surrounded by cold wind and snow but with the sound of a waterfall crashing into the river that ran in front of it.

With that in mind, Clarke begins searching the ground like the rest of them, looking for the smoothest, flattest rock she can find. Her dad had spent the day trying to show her to skip rocks correctly because anytime she threw it, it would just make a _plop_ sound and disappear beneath the surface. When she looks, it seems like that’s what the others are trying to do, too, so she turns her attention back to the plethora of rocks in front of her. Some are too big, others too small, and some are no where near smooth or flat.

It’s when she’s in the middle of trying to find the type of rock she wants that she hears something splash into the water and when she looks, Bellamy is standing on the edge of the lake with Octavia beside him and he’s glaring at the water. Clarke turns back to trying to find her own rocks and, eventually, she walks away from where she was looking with three different stones that she hopes she can throw. It’s beginning to snow again and with the oncoming storm she knows that they won’t be able to stay out here for too much longer, but she wants to be able to at least skip the rocks that she has.

The others have found rocks, too, because they all gather around in the same area, almost all of them with their gloves tucked in their pockets as they run their fingers over the smooth, cold surfaces. Jasper throws his rock first, and it skips twice before sinking. Monty’s skips three times, and Murphy’s two. Harper and Miller look at each other before skipping their rocks at the same time and they each get three skips before their rocks disappear. Clarke has never skipped rocks with this many people, but she finds that it’s fun getting to wonder which rock is going to go the farthest.

Clarke waits as everyone finishes skipping the rocks that they have and then once they’re all looking for more she takes it as her chance to skip hers. Except, Bellamy gets in front of where she’s walking to, though she doesn’t think that’s on purpose, and skips his second rock. Like the first, it just sinks into the water with a sound that echoes in the open space, and Clarke walks towards him, taking her gloves off as she goes.

“I think you might need to throw it at a better angle,” she says, remembering what her father told her. “Like you’re trying to barely touch the surface.”

Bellamy doesn’t look at her as she comes to stand beside him, but he huffs. “I know how to skip a rock.”

Clarke doesn’t say anything as she picks up one of the rocks in her hand, running her index finger along the narrow side of it before positioning her feet, adjusting her grip, and letting it go across the lake. It skips once, twice, four times before sinking below the dark surface, and Jasper’s cheers carry from where he’s standing by the pier.

“It’s like I said, you’re just trying to—”

“I said I know how to skip a rock.” Bellamy looks at her then, his brown eyes hard, and she notices the way his hands clench at his sides before he stuffs them into his pockets.

Even though she felt hurt at the fact that he doesn’t seem to like her, Clarke has to admit that he is rather annoying. _Octavia was right. He is a butt_. Wanting to make him prove it, Clarke takes one of the stones and hands it out to him. Bellamy looks from her face to her hand, one of his eyebrows raising, and Clarke holds it out further for him.

“What?”

“If you know how to skip a rock then let’s race like Harper and Miller,” she says calmly, and Bellamy’s lips press into a thin line before he grabs the rock out of her hand.

She watches as he spins it around in his fingers a couple of times and then the two of them get ready to throw the rocks. Clarke glances at Bellamy’s hold on the stone, then at her own, her lips pursing together. “Your grip needs to be looser.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Yes, it does. It’s supposed to fly from your hand but it can’t when you’re holding it like that.”

“Whatever,” Bellamy snorts, and Clarke shakes her head as she looks back out at the lake.

The water is calm for the most part, except for the ripples a little ways in from the wind that’s beginning to make it’s way down the hill. The snow falls softly onto the surface and disappears, mixing with the rest of the water as more snowflakes move to join it, too. Clarke readjusts her grip on the rock and takes a deep breath, feeling the cold air make its way into her lungs before letting it out slowly. Her breath forms a cloud of smoke in front of her, but it disappears as quickly as it came.

“On the count of three,” Bellamy says, and Clarke nods her head, glancing out of the corner of her eye and noticing that he had, in fact, loosened his grip on the rock.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

The two of them let their rocks go, and Bellamy’s skips twice before falling and Clarke’s skips three paces before following his. It’s not as good as the four she originally got, but two was definitely better in Bellamy’s case than the sinking he was originally getting.

“I can show you—”

“I’m not letting a little girl teach me,” Bellamy seethes, and then he turns and stomps back up the hill with Murphy following after him as the rest of their friends reach Clarke.

“What’s his problem?” Harper asks, and Clarke sighs.

“He’s a butt,” she says with a smile, and it pulls a laugh out of everyone.

It doesn’t take long for the snow to pick up and when it happens, a whistle is blown and they all begin to make their way back towards the house.

~

Later that day when they’re at lunch and at night when they’re at dinner, Clarke and Bellamy can’t seem to stop glaring at each other. All she did was try to help him skip rocks better but it doesn’t seem like he appreciated that. She thought she was just being nice but, apparently, Bellamy doesn’t know how to be nice unless he’s talking to his sister. _And even then he can be a jerk_.

Eventually, though, Clarke begins to ignore him. Deciding that if he doesn’t want to be friends with her then he doesn’t have to be, but they share friends so he’s going to have to put up with her. But, it’s only been two days so how can he already not like her? She tries asking Octavia, but the other girl only shrugs and says that her brother is weird, which is then backed up by Harper, and, well, that doesn’t really help. _We’ll have to get along eventually. Right? We’ll have to eventually._ As she starts to fall asleep, though, she begins to wonder if that’s actually going to be the case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Bellamy...
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	6. ⋄ Chapter Five ⋄

**_November 7, 2132  
The Castle_ **

On Monday, Clarke follows the other kids when it comes to getting ready to board the bus to go to the school, but she doesn’t feel as nervous as she usually does on the first day. She already knows most of the kids at this point and Becca walked her through the classes that she was going to be taking that past Saturday. She finishes pulling on her coat and grabs the backpack that her parents had put in one of her suitcases then slips out the door of her room.

She follows the stream of children that are making their way down the stairs, with the boys from the third floor melding into the crowd on the second. With this many kids she’s not exactly sure how everyone is going to be able to fit on the bus, but apparently that’s not a problem. The front doors are open, letting the cold air into the house, and Clarke pulls on the straps of her backpack as she follows the throng of people out on to the gravel driveway.

It’s snowed more since the other day at the lake and the sun shines against the white ground, making everything seem brighter than usual. The tress that line the driveway have been reduced to white mounds and some of the rocks in the driveway are covered in ice, so Clarke takes care as she crunches her way towards the big yellow school bus that’s idling in front of them. It looks newer than the ones at her last school, but she shouldn’t be surprised. If Becca and the others wanted them to get the full experience then getting a normal looking school bus would be the best way to do it.

When it’s her turn to climb up the steps, Clarke takes a deep breath as she grabs onto the railing and pulls herself up the first step, then the second, then the third, until she’s standing in the long narrow walkway. Inside the bus looks different than what she’s used to. The seats aren’t the usual dull brown leather that smells, and the roof isn’t white metal with scuff marks and gum. Instead, the seats are a dark gray fabric and the roof is covered in a tan cloth, like the inside of her mom’s car. And, when she looks towards the back corner, she realizes that there’s a heater. Her old bus _definitely_ didn’t have that.

“Go.” Murphy’s voice comes from behind her and Clarke sighs as she begins walking towards where Harper is sitting.

She takes her backpack off and puts it in her lap as she slides into the seat, and Harper smiles at her. “Ready?”

“Of course, she’s ready.” Monty and Jasper appear in the seat behind them.

“It’s her first day of school.”

“Yeah, but the first day is usually the scariest,” Octavia says as she slides into the seat across from Clarke and Harper.

“It’s not scary since I know all of you.” Clarke smiles. “ _Everyone_ here goes to the same school?” She asks as she turns around to look at the others, and they all nod.

“For the most part,” Monty says, leaning his elbows onto the seat. “The really little kids stay home for school until they’re big enough to get on the bus.”

Over the past few days, Clarke has learned a lot more about how things work here and just how many kids are living in the house. Charlotte is the youngest at two, and she’s also one of the newer kids to get brought here, but there are a couple of three-year-old’s and a few four-year-old’s. Apparently it’s hard to find little kids who are _nightblood_ but it does happen. Then, there are the big kids but when they reach eighteen they can choose to stay here or go back and live with their family, but none of the big kids are eighteen yet. Altogether there are fifty kids living in the castle and they never know when they’re going to get more.

No one knows how Becca is able to figure out who is considered special and who isn’t, and if any of the older kids know then they won’t say anything. Like Monty said, the older you get the more you get told, but no one is willing to actually share what they know. The last of the older kids get on the bus, heading straight for the back, and then the bus lurches forward as the tires crunch in the rocks.

Leaving the castle, Clarke can’t help but turn around and watch the building get smaller and smaller as they go. Once they’re out on the main road, the land seems to blend in with itself. The trees are covered in white, the grass is covered, the bushes, the only thing that Clarke can make out that doesn’t blend are the bases of the mountains even though their peaks are covered in white, too.

She’s not sure where this school is at exactly, or what it looks like, but they did say it looks like a normal school, so she imagines her old one. She pictures tiled floors and walls covered in posters and drawings, and then she wonders what the teachers are going to be like. She hasn’t exactly met the other adults that she’s seen around the house, so she doesn’t know their names, but she wonders if they’re going to be the ones teaching them.

“So, what you most excited about?” Miller asks, leaning out into the walkway from the seat in front of Octavia.

“I don’t know. It’s just school, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s not like normal school.” Jasper pokes his head around the seat. “It’s better.”

 _Better?_ What Jasper could mean by that, Clarke has no idea. It’s still just school and they’re going to have to learn math and science and English and everything else that they would if they were in any other school. _Right?_ Just because they have special blood doesn’t mean that they can just not learn stuff. Her mom said that, for the most part, school subjects were the same across whatever school she went to and when she transferred she was still learning the same things.

For the rest of the car ride, Clarke tries to figure out what Jasper meant by “better” while talking to Harper about what they would be doing once they got home. Everyone had walked her through the other rooms in the house, from the ballet studio to the art room and the library and karate room. It was like they could choose to do whatever they wanted to do after school, as long as they did their homework when they were supposed to. Before she and her parents moved a few months ago, Clarke had been taking soccer lessons and she really enjoyed it, but now it’s too cold to go outside and try and kick the ball around in the snow, though Miller did tell her that they do have soccer games that they’ll put together every now and then.

The bus passes through a tunnel and Clarke can hear the collective intake of breath as they pass through it, and then the exhale once they come out of the other side. She’s still not sure where they’re going exactly, but she thinks about the two tunnels that she and Becca passed through to get to the house and wonders if they’re going to be going closer to the city. As she looks out of some of the other windows she can’t see any buildings off in the distance or even a water tower to tell her where they’re at, so she just sinks back into her chair and rests her chin on top of her backpack.

~

The bus comes to a halt in front of a small, one-story building that’s made of red brick with four white pillars holding up the covered archway in front of the door. _It looks like a normal school_. The other kids don’t waste time getting up and making their way off the bus, so Clarke grabs her bag and gets in line behind Octavia. It’s bigger than she thought it would be, given that there aren’t that my kids to begin with, but she wonders if it’s like the castle. Big enough to hold everyone and have different rooms for different things.

Inside is warm and Clarke can feel the snowflakes that are in her hair begin to melt the more she walks in, and she notices the different glass walls on either side of the lobby with one labeled _Attendance_ and the other _Front Office_. Even though there is no one in either room. She looks up, marveling at how the red brick makes an arch across the ceiling between the windows and hanging lights, and then someone is tapping on her shoulder.

“We have science first,” Harper says, and Clarke nods her head, following the other blonde down the right hallway while some of the others go left.

As they walk, Clarke takes in the posters on the walls, like the ones at her last school, and the different colored tiles on the floor that make diamonds. It really does seem like a normal school, and she even notices the lockers down one of the halls before she and Harper take another right and make their way inside of the classroom.

The desks are wood and metal and plastic blue seats, but there’s a chalkboard at the front of the room rather than a whiteboard and when Clarke looks up, she doesn’t see the projector that was usually in her classes. The teacher is already at her desk, a woman with light brown hair and when she looks up, she smiles at all of the children filing into the room.

Harper motions for Clarke to follow her towards the desk and Clarke holds onto her backpack tighter as the teacher stands up. “Hi, you must be Clarke,” she says, and Clarke nods her head.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” The woman holds out her hand and Clarke shakes it. “I’m Ms. Adelaide, but you can call me Ms. A if that’s easier for you.” Ms. Adelaide opens a drawer on her desk and pulls out a small book with a frog on the front of it and hands it to her along with an orange folder. “Here are your supplies for the class, and I have gone ahead and put in a few pages in the folder that cover what we’ve already talked about so far this year for you to go over.”

“I can help her catch up,” Harper says, and the teacher smiles at her.

“Thank you, Izzy.” She straightens, looking around the room. “Why don’t the two of you take one of the counters today, that way you won’t disturb anyone if you need to talk about the material.”

The two girls nod their heads and then Clarke follows Harper to one of the tables off to the side of the room. She sets her backpack down on the floor after grabbing a pencil and then Harper helps her find the page that they’re going to be working on as Ms. A closes the door to the classroom and walks up to the chalkboard.

~

After science is math with Mr. Jay, and then English with Mrs. Winifred, followed by lunch where they have to stay inside since it’s snowing hard again, then social studies with Mrs. Caroline, reading with Mr. Thomas, and then, before Clarke realizes it, they’re all getting back on the bus and heading home. Her head hurts even though she didn’t have a hard time keeping up with what the teachers were saying, but she understands that her head usually hurts on the first day of school.

“So,” Octavia asks as the bus starts moving, “how was it?”

“It was good,” Clarke says softly, willing the pain in her head to go away. “My head hurts though.”

“Oh, really?” She looks over at Harper and her friend takes off one of her gloves and puts her hand against Clarke’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

“It’s just a lot to remember.” Clarke yawns. “I think I just need a nap.”

“Me, too.” Jasper yawns over her head. “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

“That’s because you stayed up trying to make origami stuff,” Monty says, but he yawns, too.

“How much longer do we have until we get back?” Clarke asks, and Harper shrugs.

“I don’t know, but it should be enough time to take a nap.”

Clarke can only manage to nod her head as she sinks down into the bus seat, and she closes her eyes. She’s slept on the bus before, so she’s used to the bumps and the jostling, and the sound of a bunch of people talking around her, but the pounding in her head is worse than she thought. The back of her eyes ache and it feels like someone is hitting her on the back of the head really hard, and she tries to remember what her mom said about not drinking enough water.

They’re back at the house by the time Clarke opens her eyes again and she begins to wonder just how long she had been asleep. Her head still hurts by the time she gets off the bus and once she’s inside, she feels dizzy. She knows that she’s going to have to do her homework soon and that she told Harper and Octavia that she’d come with them to one of the ballet lessons, but now she feels sick. She doesn’t know why, since it’s not like she ate a bunch of cookies, but she does.

“Clarke? Are you okay?” Octavia asks, and Clarke looks at her, the other girl’s green eyes are wide and her eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t feel good.”

“I’ll go get Bex!” And with that, Octavia disappears down the hall as Harper grabs her hand.

“It’s probably the weather,” Monty says. “I got sick when I first came here, too.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.” Jasper stuffs his hands in his pockets and bounces on his feet. “We can get you so more hot chocolate later tonight.” He smiles.

“Clarke?” Becca appears behind her friends with Octavia at her side. “Come here, lets get you to medical to see what’s wrong.” She holds out her hand and Clarke walks towards her as Becca wraps her arm around her shoulders.

They walk down the long hallway past Becca’s office and further still, and Clarke looks around at the pictures on the walls. They’re of older people, and she notices gold plaques under their paintings though she can’t see the names.

“Who are they?”

“They’re the people who ran this place before I did,” Becca says, looking around at the pictures, too.

“How long as this place been here?”

“A very long time.” Becca smiles down at her, but her brown eyes look like Clarke’s mothers when she’s inspecting a cut on her leg. “Can you tell me why you don’t feel good?”

“My head has been hurting, and my eyes hurt.” Clarke takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as they pass by a window, and the pain in her head only gets worse. “I’ve been really tired, too.”

“I think it’s altitude sickness. It’s normal for the new children to experience it, though sometimes it worse for some than it is others.”

“Altitude sickness?” Clarke asks as Becca guides her towards a door on the right that’s labeled _Medical_.

“Altitude is how high you are and since we’re a little higher than what you’re used to and you’ve been playing outside a lot, it’s probably starting to give you a headache.”

Inside the room is bright white, with a hospital bed against one of the walls and a long counter with cabinets above it on the other. There are machines that she’s seen at her mom’s work, too, and a jar of suckers sitting next to a stool with wheels.

“Can you get up on the bed for me, please?” Becca asks, and Clarke puts down her backpack as she climbs onto the hospital bed, swinging her legs off the side.

She watches as Becca puts on some gloves and wraps the thing that doctors use to check her heart beat around her neck, then she grabs a popsicle stick and one of the magnifying light things. “Okay, open wide and say ‘ah’.” Clarke does as she’s told and then she sits there as Becca checks her ears, and then presses on her cheeks and under her chin, and then she puts the heartbeat thing on and tells Clarke to take a few deep breaths.

“Well, your heartbeat seems fine and your sinuses aren’t swollen, so I think it is the change in altitude.”

“Will I be okay?” Clarke asks, and Becca squeezes her knee.

“You’ll be fine. You just need a couple of days to get used to it, but I think staying inside might be what’s for the best right now.”

“Will I still be able to talk to my parents in two days?”

“Yes, you will.” Becca’s eyes crinkle as she smiles at her, but then she tilts her head to the side. “Now, I usually wait a little bit for the new kids to get settled in before I begin tracking your progress, but since you’re sick, I would like to take a blood sample.”

“Why?”

“Well, part of my job is to understand more about what makes your blood unique, and to do that I take samples during different times. Right now you’re sick and I would like to see how your body is responding to it.”

“Oh, okay.” Clarke looks down at her arm, remembering the last time she had to get her blood drawn when she was have stomach pain.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be a tiny prick.” Becca turns around and stands, grabbing something out of one of the cabinets before coming to stand in front of Clarke. “Can I see your hand?”

She holds it out and Becca takes a little square device and presses it against her middle finger. “There’s going to be a slight pinch, but it’ll be over in a second.” Clarke nods her head and then something sharp sticks the tip of her finger, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. She watches as a drop of blood begins to form at the cut, but then Becca is there placing a band-aid over the top of it. “There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“No.”

“Good.” Becca checks the band-aid before going to grab the container with the suckers. “Here, you can choose whichever color you like.”

“Thank you.” Clarke takes a moment to look then grabs the one with the purple wrapper and smiles as she takes off the paper. “Are you a doctor?”

“Yes, I am.” Becca helps her get off the bed. “And as your doctor, I think you should take it easy. Remember what I said about staying inside.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Clarke grabs her backpack and Becca walks her to the door, just how she did when Clarke was leaving her office. “Can I still go to the ballet lesson with Iz and Octavia?”

“Sure, as long as you’re feeling up to it.”

Clarke smiles before waving bye and then she’s making her way to the stairs. Her head still doesn’t feel good, but Becca told her she’ll start to feel better soon, so she can put up with it. She’s never experienced altitude sickness before, but she can say now that it sucks.

When she walks into her room, Bellamy is there doing Octavia’s hair again as Harper sits on her bed, pulling on her ballet shoes. They’re both wearing black outfits with white stockings and they have on flowy pink skirts on, too.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Harper asks as Clarke puts her backpack down on the bed, and Clarke shrugs as she sits down.

“I’m okay. Becca says it’s altitude sickness.”

“That makes sense,” Octavia says, and then she looks up like she’s trying to look at her brother even though he’s standing behind her. “Bell, did you ever get sick when we came here?”

“No.”

Bellamy doesn’t look up from what he’s doing but Clarke can still feel herself beginning to get annoyed with him. Over the past couple of days after their interaction at the lake, they haven’t said a word to each other since. She’s pretty sure if they did they would probably start arguing again, and she doesn’t want to go through that. She still doesn’t understand why he doesn’t like her, but she’s not about to ask him.

“Monty said he did. Do you remember?”

“No.”

“You’re being a butt,” Octavia sighs, crossing her arms over her chest.

“No, I’m just focusing.”

“Say ‘no’ one more time, Bellamy,” Harper snorts. “You’ll get four in a row.”

“Do you want me to do your hair, too, or not?” He asks, glaring as he looks over at Harper, and the other girl rolls her eyes.

“Yes.”

“Okay, then.”

 _He’s like a grouchy old man. Like Dr. Demasses._ Clarke tells them what Becca told her, with Bellamy rolling his eyes as she says that she needs to take it easy. Again, she’s not entirely sure what his problem is, but she ignores him.

So, while Bellamy does their hair Clarke goes to the bathroom to change out of the clothes she wore to school and then she crawls onto her bed and decides to get to work on her homework. She’s not feeling good so she doesn’t want to try and start learning ballet when she feels like she can’t even stand up straight, and two girls say they understand before they leave to go to the studio.

That night, Clarke has dinner in the room, since loud noises seem to make her headache worse, and then, like the other night, Monty and Jasper show up with hot chocolate, but this time Miller is the one carrying the cookies. They all sit around on the floor again, talking about the upcoming movie night and the test that’s coming up in Monty and Jasper’s science class. It’s fun, like it was Friday night, and slowly, Clarke begins to feel a little bit better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, she'll be okay :)
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	7. ⋄ Chapter Six ⋄

**_November 9, 2132  
The Castle_ **

Clarke wakes up before anyone else, the sun not even having a chance to come up yet by the time she’s making her way down to the bathroom to brush her teeth. _I get to talk to my parents today_. Since Monday, she’s begun to feel better and since Becca said that she would let her talk to her parents first thing in the morning, she hopes she can talk to them before she leaves for school. She stayed up most of last night thinking about what she would tell them. About her new friends and the school she’s going to, and if they asked her how she was feeling she could tell them that she knows what altitude sickness is and that she’s feeling better.

It doesn’t even sound like the adults are up yet and there are no lights coming from under the doors of the other rooms on the second floor as Clarke pushes into the bathroom. She doesn’t take long to brush her hair and her teeth, and when she slips back into her bedroom she tries not to make any noise as she grabs the clothes she laid out the night before. She’s not sure what time it is but she’s never woken up really early before so she assumes that it won’t be long before everyone else is awake and getting ready, too.

Miller said that when they talk to their parents they have to go to Becca’s office since cellphones don’t work where they’re at, and Becca will usually leave the room so they have a quiet place to talk. The last time he talked to his dad was a month ago and they aren’t able to talk very long in case someone else might be trying to figure out who their parents are talking to. _It seems like a lot of work_ , Clarke thinks, looking over at the picture of her and her parents. She still doesn’t understand who would want to try and keep them from knowing about their special blood, but she also doesn’t understand why someone would want to hurt her parents if she’s not there anymore.

_They won’t hurt them, because you’re here._

Clarke sits on her bed, waiting for the sun to start to rise. She idly wonders if Becca would already be up, since her mom usually wakes up before sunrise anyway, but she doesn’t want to bother her because she knows she’s probably busy. She’s excited to talk to her parents, though. Like the kind of excitedness she would feel before a school field trip or when her parents said that they were going to go to Disneyland one year. She kicks her feet back and forth a little, wondering how much time she’ll be able to talk to her parents before she has to leave for school, and if it’ll be enough time.

She’s not sure how long she’s been sitting there, but light from the hallway begins to glow under the door and Clarke gets up, slipping on her shoes and making her way towards the stairs. She has to weave her way in and out of the people that are trying to get to the bathroom and the others who are trying to get to breakfast first, but eventually she makes her way to the bottom of the stairs and then heads for Becca’s office. The large windows give her a view of the morning sky being streaked in pink and orange purple, and the thought of her parents being awake comes into her mind as she stops in front of the large wooden door.

Taking a deep breath, Clarke knocks and then waits. She can tell that there’s a light on inside of the room so she assumes Becca is in there and, sure enough, she can see someone’s shadow before the door opens. She looks up at Becca, noticing the dark blue suit and white button up shirt she’s wearing, and her lips are the same red color she was wearing when she came to pick her up that day.

“Good morning, Clarke.”

“Good morning.” Clarke looks from her to inside of her office. “Can I call my parents?”

“I did say first thing in the morning, didn’t I?” Becca’s smile widens as she backs up and motions for Clarke to walk into the office, and Clarke’s eyes immediately find the phone sitting on Becca’s desk, on the other side of her computer. “Do you remember your parents phone number or do you need me to pull it up?”

“No, I remember it.”

Becca motions for Clarke to go around her desk and she pulls the phone closer as Clarke takes a seat in her big leather chair. “You have thirty minutes to talk to them and then I’ll come get you for breakfast.”

“Okay.” Clarke picks up the receiver and looks up at Becca. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” And with that, Becca makes her way around the desk and then out of the door, closing it softly behind her.

Clarke takes a deep breath as she begins pressing the numbers of her parents’ home phone, her heart rate spiking, and she wiggles her foot as it rings. She wants to ask them why they didn’t tell her that she would be leaving, but then Becca’s words come back into her mind. _In my experience, parents never really know what to say_.

“Hello?” Her dad’s voice sounds over the speaker, and Clarke smiles.

“Dad?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Her dad chuckles a little, but then she can hear him sniffle as he calls for her mom.

Clarke’s eyebrows furrow together a little. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, baby, I’m okay. How are you? Are you settling in okay?” There’s the sound of someone shuffling on the other side of the phone and then Clarke can hear her mom, too.

“Clarke! I’m so glad you called, I was about to leave for work. How are you? Is everything going okay?”

“Hey, mom.” Tears spring to Clarke’s eyes at the sound of her parents’ voices, and she tries to silently wipe them away. “Yeah, I’m okay. I have two roommates, Harper and Octavia, and they’re really nice. I’ve become friends with a few of the other kids, too.”

“That’s wonderful.” She can hear her mother sniffle, too. “Tell us all about it.”

“Are you sure you have time?” She asks, and her mother laughs a little.

“I have all the time in the world. We want to know everything.”

“Okay, well…”

So, she tells them everything. She talks about the ride to the house, what the house looks like, about Monty, Jasper, and Miller, though she leaves out Murphy since they aren’t friends, and that she likes her teachers and that they have an art room and that they’ve let her choose her own bed set. She leaves out the part about how she’s been feeling sick, since she doesn’t want them to worry, but in the end she’s pretty sure her parents are smiling even though they also sound like they’re still crying a little.

“We’re happy to hear that you’re doing good, Clarke,” her dad says. “Is anyone giving you a hard time?”

She thinks about Bellamy and presses her lips together for a second. “Well, there’s Octavia’s brother…” she trails off. _What about him? He’s just mean._

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to want to be my friend and I don’t know why. There’s another boy, Murphy, but Becca says that he’s mean until he gets to know people, but Bellamy is really nice to Octavia and he does her hair and he’ll do Harper’s hair, but he doesn’t seem to like me.”

“Well, honey, some people just need some time to get to know you.” Her dad’s voice is soft. “Have you tried talking to him?”

“We all went to the lake to skip rocks Friday, but he was having trouble and I tried to show him how but he just kept telling me he knew how to do it even though he didn’t.”

“Now, Clarke, did you show him by actually helping him or did you show him by skipping your rock the farthest it would go?” Her mom asks, and Clarke can feel her cheeks heat up.

“Well, I told him he needed to loosen his hold on it first,” she mutters, and she can hear her parents laugh.

“We’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Clarke sighs. “He’s just mean.”

“How can you say that if you don’t know him? Because he doesn’t know you, either.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Just give it some time, okay, sweetheart?”

“I can try.” Clarke swings her feet back and forth some more as she looks at the time on Becca’s computer. It’s been about twenty-five minutes so she knows she’s going to have to hang-up soon and she doesn’t want to. Tears begin to roll down her cheeks despite her effort to pull the back. “I miss you,” she whispers, and her voice breaks.

“We miss you, too, baby,” her mom says softly.

“So much,” her dad adds.

“Why didn’t—” she sniffles. “Why didn’t you tell me I was leaving?”

“Well,” her dad sniffles, too, “we didn’t know how to tell you.”

“But we don’t want you to think that we wanted you to leave, okay? We never wanted you to have to leave but—”

“I have to keep you safe,” Clarke finishes, and she can hear her mom suck in a breath.

“No, baby, we have to keep you safe. Okay?”

“Yeah, we never wanted to say bye to you, Clarke, but it’s safer with you there.”

“You won’t forget me, right?” She asks, and her parents laugh softly.

“Never in a million years.”

“Nope. Never.”

A knock comes at the door and Clarke looks as Becca points to the watch that’s on her left wrist, and Clarke nods her head. “I have to go because I have to eat breakfast before school but we should be able to talk again in a month. They say it’s not safe for us to talk very much.”

A lump forms in her throat again and more tears roll down her cheeks as she stares a the buttons on the phone. She doesn’t want to say goodbye to her mom and dad and she doesn’t want to have to wait so long to talk to them again. A month is a long time and if she only gets thirty minutes to talk to them again then how will she be able to tell them everything that’s been happening? A lot could happen in a short amount of time and she’s not going to be able to see them for years.

“No, it isn’t.” Her mom’s voice is rough when she speaks, and it only makes Clarke want to cry more. She’s only seen her mom and dad cry once in her whole life.

“But the next time we talk we want you to tell us everything, okay?” Her dad asks, and Clarke nods her head.

“Okay, Dad.”

“We love you, Clarke,” her mom whispers.

“We love you more than anything, munchkin.” Her dad’s voice is rough.

“I love you, too.” Clarke reaches up to wipe away some more tears as the door to the office opens again, and she looks back at Becca. “I’ll call you again when I can.”

“Okay, baby. Have fun at school.”

“And don’t forget to brush your teeth before you go to sleep.”

“I will. I love you.”

“And we love you.”

“We love you, too.”

Clarke closes her eyes. “Bye.”

“Bye sweetheart.”

“Bye, baby.”

And with that, the line goes dead and Clarke leans over and hangs up the phone. Tears are still falling down her cheeks and onto her shirt, but once the phone is out of her hands she wipes them away. _I’ll get to talk to them again_ ,” she reminds herself. _A month can’t be that long_.

“How are you doing?” Becca asks once she sits on the edge of her desk, and Clarke shrugs.

“I’m okay.”

“I know it’s hard, but it’s—”

“For the best. I know.”

Becca reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Clarke’s ear and Clarke looks up at her. Becca’s eyebrows are knitted together and her red lips are pressed into a thin line as she looks down at her, and more tears form in Clarke’s eyes before the can will them to go away.

“This life isn’t exactly easy, Clarke,” Becca says softly. “But you have to remember that it will all be worth it in the end.”

Clarke doesn’t know what she means by that, but eventually she nods her head and stands from the chair. She’s going to have to hurry up and eat breakfast before the bus leaves, but right now she’s not sure she can really eat anything. She’s sad, even though hearing her parents’ voices was something she’s been looking forward to for a week now. Once again, Becca walks her to the door but Clarke doesn’t smile up at her as she makes her way back up the stairs so she can grab her backpack.

Octavia and Harper are waiting for her when she walks into the room, and as soon as they crush her in a group hug Clarke begins to cry even more. She can’t imagine what it’s been like for Harper, only talking to her dad once a month, and then for Harper and Bellamy, since they don’t have anyone to talk to on the outside. _Becca was right, it’s not easy_.

The three of them make their way down the stairs with Clarke between her two friends, and they stay that way as they grab their breakfast and sit down. Clarke eats slowly, trying to keep herself from breaking down in the cafeteria. No one outside of her new friends seem to know that she’s sad, and once they’re on the bus Jasper hands her a mini chocolate muffin he says he took from the kitchen when no one was looking, and Monty gives her a handful of M&Ms before they walk into the school.

She does her best to listen to her teachers lessons and she does the classwork that’s assigned to them, for the rest of the day all she can think about are her parents’ voices and hearing them tell her that they miss her and the sound of them crying. She knows that she should count herself lucky that she even has her parents to talk to, since her mom always told her that some of her patients at the hospital didn’t have a family, but even that thought doesn’t help.

What does help, though, is the thought that she’s going to get to see them again. She knows that it will probably feel like forever, but at some point, when she’s older, she’ll get to go back home. That does make her feel a little better, and when she gets back into her room after school she takes out one of her notebooks and begins to write down everything that happened while she was in class. What subjects they talked about and the tests she has coming up. Since her parents said that they wanted her to tell them everything the next time she talked to them she wants to make sure she doesn’t forget.

“Clarke, want to come to ballet practice with us?” Octavia asks, and Clarke looks up from where she’s writing in her notebook.

“Oh, um…”

“Are you feeling better?” Harper looks at her as she pulls her hair back into a ponytail.

“Yeah, I’ll come.” Clarke closes her notebook, deciding that she can write more when she gets back, and then Octavia hands her a ballet outfit. She hadn’t realized that they were planning on her coming with them, but she’s thankful nonetheless.

Like Monday, Bellamy comes in to do Octavia’s hair, and then Harper’s, but Clarke doesn’t ask him to do her hair and he doesn’t offer. She tries to remind herself of what her mom and dad told her about giving him some time and trying to talk to him, but she doesn’t want to do that right now. She still doesn’t like him because of that day at the lake, and she doesn’t want to try and talk to him when it’s obvious he doesn’t wan to talk to her.

Walking into the ballet room, she’s excited when she sees the full wall of mirrors for the second time, and teacher smiles at her before telling her to just jump in whenever she feels ready. As far as activities go, ballet goes a long way to take her mind off the conversation that she had with her parents earlier that morning. She also thinks back on the time she went to a few ballet classes when she was younger before she and her parents had to move, and the idea that she’ll get to stick with it this time makes her happier. This teacher is also a lot nicer than the first one she had.

When Monty and Jasper decide to join in, trying to do a jeté with the rest of the class, Clarke laughs as the teacher tells them to leave before she grounds them, and once they’re gone she and the other students spend a few minutes mimicking what the two boys did before the teacher tells them to get back into formation. Overall, her first ballet lesson is better than she expected it to be, and she’s glad that her friends asked her to join it.

~

As she lays in bed, she thinks about what her life will be like here at the castle. She thinks about the games she can play, the sports, the books she can read and the art she can make. She thinks about her friends and how she can run around in the yard for however long she wants as long as she doesn’t wander too far. But, she also thinks about how she’s helping her parents.

Even though they told her that she shouldn’t worry about them, she thinks about what Becca told her and how she’s keeping them safe. In a way, the three of them are being kept safe by her being here, and she knows that they would do it for her if they had to, but she’s the one that’s special. _I wonder why I’m the one that’s special and they aren’t?_ In fact, no one else has parents here with them, so it makes her wonder how Becca and the other people learn that they’re special to begin with. _Harper said that you have to be special to be brought here, but she didn’t know how Becca knew, either_.

 _Maybe we’ll be told when we’re older_. She realizes that there’s a lot they’re probably going to have to learn as they get older, like how to keep others from realizing that they’re special, and her mind begins to wander with what that could be. If there are others who can figure it out and that’s why she needed to leave her parents, then wouldn’t those people be able to figure out who she is when she’s an adult?

Her mind reels as she lays there and she wills it go blank as she pulls her blanket over her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least she got to talk to her parents <3
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	8. ⋄ Chapter Seven ⋄

**_December 3, 2132  
The Castle_ **

Becca had told Clarke a month earlier that she usually waits for the kids to get settled before she begins to monitor their progress, but Clarke hadn’t understood what she meant by “progress.” Now, a month and a week since she originally set foot in the house, she’s being summoned to Becca’s office and she’s not sure why.

Over the last few weeks, she’s gotten used to her footsteps echoing in the foyer and the sunlight that shines through the large window on the back wall until it sets, only to be replaced by the moonlight. Now, the sound of the rest of the children talking in the dining room follows her as she makes her way towards Becca’s office. The light is on and Clarke can see it casting a white glow onto the dark floorboards as she stops in front of it and knocks.

It opens almost immediately, and Clarke looks up at Becca. “Thank you for coming so quickly, Clarke,” Becca says, but instead of motioning for her to go into her office, she comes out of the door and starts down the hall. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve called you after dinner.”

“A little.”

“Well, since you’ve had time to get settled in and your altitude sickness is gone, I was hoping you would be up for letting me take a little more blood.”

Clarke has never liked needles so the thought of one being poked into her arm doesn’t exactly sit well with her, but she shrugs. “I guess.”

“I don’t do this very often, but I like starting my research as soon as possible.”

“What kind of research?” Clarke asks, and Becca looks down at her, her dark ponytail swaying.

“Well, all kinds. Like I told you, people are scared of how special you are and that’s because they don’t completely understand it, and my job is to help them to.”

“How?”

“By showing them that they have nothing to fear.” Becca opens the door to the medical room, and Clarke goes in first with the door clicking shut behind the two of them. “I try and understand as much as I can about the properties of _nightblood,_ what it can do, what it does, but with only a few people dedicated to figuring it out, it takes a long time.”

“Can’t others come in to help you?” Clarke asks, as she climbs on to the bed, and Becca takes up the rolling stool in front of her.

“With this work, we need to keep it secret until we’re able to show the world that there’s nothing to be afraid of. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“See, if a lot of people knew that we were trying to find answers here, while also trying to protect all of you, then we wouldn’t be safe. I’ve been tasked with trying to figure out as much as I can about what it means to be special, just like the ones who watched over this place before me, and it’s my job to keep all of you safe, too.”

“And yourself?”

“Yeah, and me.” Becca smiles slightly, the corners of her lips turning up. “I don’t like getting my blood taken either, but in order to understand I need to take a little.”

“Does everyone have to have their blood taken?” Clarke asks, and her head tilts to the side a little. “Why not just use yours?”

“If I could save the rest of you from having to do this then I would, but with science you need a bunch of different samples. So you can get a better understanding of the shared characteristics of what it means to be _nightblood_.”

Looking down at her, Clarke is sure she understands what she means. Even if partly. For Becca to understand the special blood as best as she can, she needs a lot of samples to look at, and now she’s asking her to give her one. She’s still not entirely sure what she means by “progress,” but needing samples she understands. _Like how Ms. Jeanine needed samples of the water in science a year ago_.

“Okay,” Clarke whispers, and Becca smiles.

“It won’t take long, I promise. Can you roll your sleeve up for me, please?” Becca asks, and Clarke pulls up her sleeve as Becca turns around and grabs some gloves and then opens the cabinets to grab something from it.

She hasn’t been in this room since the day Becca brought her in to see why she wasn’t feeling well, but now she’s able to look around a little more without her head hurting her. There are more machines in the left corner than she originally realized, and another bed had been added, along with a computer that’s on wheels like the stool. She’s not sure if this is the only place in the castle that is considered the “medical” room, but it’s the only one she’s seen. Then again, she still hasn’t seen the kitchen, either.

When Becca turns around, she hands her a foam ball that looks like the earth and then she wraps a dark blue rubber band around her arm just above her elbow. Clarke watches as she rubs a cotton ball covered in some clear liquid over the veins in the crook of her elbow. Then, the needle gets take out of it’s container, and Clarke stares at it. “Take a deep breath and squeeze the ball for me. You’ll feel a little pinch.” Clarke does as she’s told and she watches as Becca pushes the needle into her arm.

Clarke sucks in a breath at the feeling and when Becca pulls back on the end of the syringe, Clarke can’t look away as the dark red blood gets pulled into the plastic container. She immediately feels lightheaded and the feeling of the blood being taken out of her arm makes her grit her teeth. But, it’s over almost as quickly as it came as Becca removes the needle from her arm and places a cotton ball over it.

“Can you hold this here for me?”

Clarke replaces her hand as she holds the cotton ball to her arm and then Becca takes the needle off the plastic container and throws the sharp part away as she caps what’s holding the blood. Despite how she’s feeling, Clarke can’t look away from the little vile that’s holding her blood but then Becca is in front of her with some tape and she’s wrapping it around her arm to hold the cotton ball in place.

“Now, how are you feeling?” She asks, and Clarke shrugs.

“Okay. I’m a little lightheaded.”

“That’s normal.” Becca smiles at her as she reaches over to grab the jar of suckers and then she holds it out. “But a sucker and some rest will help with that.”

Once again, Clarke takes a sucker with a purple wrapper and then she’s sliding off the bed. “How many times will you need to take samples?”

“Oh, not that often. When you get older I’ll begin taking it more frequently, but you have a few years before that happens.”

“Why?”

“Well, the more you age the more prominent your _nightblood_ becomes. I still haven’t come to a conclusion as to why, but that’s something I want to try and figure out.” Still lightheaded as she sucks on the candy, Clarke only nods, and Becca leans down, her brown eyes becoming level with Clarke’s blue. “Do you want me to walk you back up to your room?”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mhm.” Clarke nods her head again. “I got it.”

“Okay.” Becca smiles. “But if you’re still not feeling well tomorrow then let me know.”

“I will.” Clarke turns and walks towards the door of the medical room and Becca waves at her as she starts back down the hall.

Walking up the stairs she feels a little dizzy, but it’s not enough to make her think that she needs to tell Becca. Not to mention that it’s going to be lights out soon, so she’ll able to just lay in her bed and go to sleep. She’s had her blood taken before and she’s felt lightheaded after that, too, and her mom has told her that when it’s just a little bit of blood then she’ll be fine.

Harper and Octavia aren’t in the room when she gets back, so she takes her time changing into her pajamas, trying not to move too fast, and then she’s sliding under the covers. Her head feels better when she lays it down on the pillow, despite the fact that her room feels like it’s spinning, but she rolls onto her side and stares at the picture frame sitting on her nightstand.

She’s going to be able to talk to her parents in a couple of days, but she’s not sure if she wants to tell them about Becca taking her blood. _But if I tell mom then she might understand_. In the past month she’s been wondering how much her parents know about _nightblood_. Despite her mom being a doctor, she never talked about it. It was when she was at school and overheard the teachers talking.

 _Did Harper and Octavia know before they came here?_ Becca said that parents don’t know what to say, but does that mean they don’t tell their kids that they’re special? Hers didn’t, but that doesn’t mean that others don’t. _Right?_ She thinks about Mavric and Asher, who were brought here together, and she wonders if their parents had told them about how they were special, since there’s two of them.

It’s when she’s in the middle of thinking about what she’s going to tell her parents that Harper and Octavia walk into the room, and they both look at her as she’s laying on her bed. “Hey, you okay?” Harper asks, and Clarke nods.

“Yeah. Becca just wanted to take a blood sample.”

“Those suck.” Octavia’s face scrunches up.

“I don’t mind them, but I look away from the needle,” Harper says as she moves towards her bed, kicking off her shoes.

“I didn’t.” Clarke’s sucker is almost gone so she bites off what little is left from the hard candy then crawls towards the foot of her bed and throws it into the trashcan that sits by the door. “She said that feeling dizzy is normal though. And being lightheaded.”

“Yeah, it usually goes away by the time you wake up.” Octavia kicks off her shoes, too, then climbs into bed. “I have to get more samples taken soon.”

“Me, too.”

At that, Clarke lays back down on her bed but rolls onto her side, facing the two other beds. “How often do you have to get it done?”

“It’s not that often. Like every few months,” Harper explains, laying back onto her pillows. “But, still. It sucks. The big kids have to get theirs taken like every month.”

“Every month?” Clarke echoes, and Harper and Octavia nod their heads.

“Yeah. It’s a lot.”

“Becca said that as we get older the _nightblood_ characteristics become more common, but she doesn’t know why.” Clarke still isn’t entirely sure what “characteristics” mean, either, but just knowing that it has something to do with her blood is enough to help her understand.

“She told me that, too,” Harper says with a yawn. “But I don’t know anything else.”

“Do you think Miller knows?” Clarke asks, and Octavia yawns as she turns around to close her curtains.

“Bellamy might.”

“Right,” Clarke snorts, and she can see Harper smirk. “He won’t tell me.”

“The two of you can’t seem to even tell each other anything unless you’re fighting,” she says, and Clarke looks over at her. “I don’t think I’ve seen anyone argue that much and Murphy is the meanest person I know.”

“It’s not my fault Bellamy doesn’t know how to talk to someone,” Clarke says before realizing what exactly she means, and she sends Octavia an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” The other girl shrugs. “I know he can be mean.”

Clarke sinks back into her pillows as she thinks about it. Things have only gotten worse between her and Bellamy since that day at the lake, but it’s not her fault. He was having trouble with trying to jump long rope and she tried to tell him that he needs to get the speed down and then jump, but he told her that he could do it when he couldn’t. Then when the lake froze over and a few of them were going to try and slide on the ice, he couldn’t stand up and when Clarke tried to help him he swatted her away. And with everything else all they’ve done is argue.

Now, they can’t even try to talk to each other without arguing. Any time they’re around each other, whenever one says something the other always has to respond to it, and more often than naught they’ll even get into arguments on the school bus despite the bus driver’s attempts to get them to sit away from each other. She’s tried to do what her parents said and get to know him, but he doesn’t seem like he wants to be friends and, well, she doesn’t want to be friends, either.

She walks with Harper and Octavia to the bathroom so they can brush their teeth, and then they get back into their rooms as soon as the lights in the hallway go out, and the lamb sitting on the shared nightstand in their room gets turned out, too. Clarke is feeling better now, an hour after having had her blood taken, but she feels tired, too. She’s not looking forward to the next time, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's for science, right?
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx
> 
> Edit: Sorry for not updating my pseuds! They're fixed now :)


	9. ⋄ Chapter Eight ⋄

**_February 21, 2133  
The Castle_ **

It was a rough night. As Clarke pushes back her navy and white comforter, her eyes find Octavia still sleeping in her bed. The other little girl is curled up in a ball, her face pale as Harper pulls the curtains shut even more. The day before, Octavia had given another blood sample but one of the new workers took more than they should have since they dropped one of the vials, and Octavia felt weak. By the time Clarke and Harper had found her in her bed, she was covered in sweat and her face was white. Clarke ran for Becca as Harper went for the boys.

Octavia doesn’t stir as Harper and Clarke make their way out of the room and towards the bathroom, and Clarke wishes she was staying back with her. Becca told them that Octavia would be excused from class, since she has gone through a lot, but Clarke doesn’t want to leave her friend in their room by herself. One look at Harper, and she realizes that the other girl feels the same way.

They go through the motions, brushing their teeth, their hair, layering up their clothes to go out into the cold air. Clarke does everything she’s done for the past few months, but she doesn’t want to get on the bus. She knows she shouldn’t be so worried, since Becca said that Octavia would be fine with some rest and a good breakfast, but something tells her Octavia and Harper would feel the same way if it was her who was staying home today instead.

She climbs onto the bus, following Harper and both of them slide into their shared seat, resting their chins on top of their backpacks. Monty and Jasper follow them, neither making jokes how they usually would, then Miller takes a seat, and then Bellamy moves one seat back and sits in Octavia’s seat. He slides all the way to the window, putting his backpack beside him, and then he crosses his arms over his chest. _I hope he’s okay._

For all of the meanness that Bellamy shows her, Harper knows that he loves his sister. She can see it in the way he never fails to show up to do her hair, or how he’ll sit with her at one of the dining tables and help her with her homework, and anytime she draws a picture it’s always for him. He’s always there for her, like how Clarke’s parents were always there for her. Looking at him now, even though half of his face is out of view, Clarke can see the dark circles that have appeared under his eyes. Reminding her of her mom when she would come home after a long shift.

She doesn’t know what to say to him. She wants to tell him what Becca said, that Octavia will feel better when they come back from classes, but he would tell her that he knows. He was there when she told them. She watches as Miller turns around in his seat, telling him something, but Bellamy only shrugs before looking back out the window. Murphy appears next, moving Bellamy’s backpack over and sitting in the empty spot beside him. Bellamy looks over at him, his brown eyes dark, but then Murphy holds out his hand and in it is a piece of chocolate, wrapped in a shiny red wrapper.

The gesture stuns Clarke for a moment, wondering how Murphy could go from being someone who seems to hate the world to offering Bellamy a piece of chocolate, but then she remembers. _He’s mean to everyone when he doesn’t know them,_ Becca’s voice echoes in her head. _Makes sense why he and Bellamy are friends._ The bus begins to move and Clarke can feel Harper’s head come to rest on her shoulder, and she rests her head atop her friend’s. Everyone knows that it’s not uncommon for them to feel weak after giving a blood sample, but none of them have ever had to give more than just sample. Octavia gave two and Becca said that she would make sure she talk to the guy who was in charge of Medical that day.

She must drift off on the way to school, though she still doesn’t know how far away the school is exactly. It’s when the bus jerks to a stop that Clarke’s eyes fly open and Harper sits up, the two of them looking around before yawning. _Only a few hours._ Everyone is dragging their feet as they get off the bus, Monty and Jasper leaning against each other like they’re trying to hold one another up as they go through the doors, and Bellamy is sandwiched between Murphy and Miller. Seeing everyone sad at the fact that Octavia isn’t with them settles heavily within Clarke, and as she sits in her first class it’s all she can think about.

 _They’re like a family_. Since November, she’s come to realize just how close everyone is here. Mainly Bellamy and Octavia and their friends surrounding them. It makes sense for them, because they’re siblings, but they seem to be just as close with everyone else, too. The sound of Ms. A’s voice is like a hum as she thinks about Murphy and how, even though he hasn’t even tried to be friends with her, he came to their room last night to see Octavia. He didn’t say anything, but he gave her a peppermint and just shrugged when Becca asked him where he got it.

She thinks about Miller and how he sat on the floor beside Octavia’s bed, pressing his back against the nightstand as Monty and Jasper stood around him. Then, she thinks about Bellamy again. He had been the one to climb onto Octavia’s bed and Clarke watched as his little sister held onto him when he gave her a hug. It was one of the nicest things she had seen Bellamy do since she arrived. He stayed until Octavia fell asleep and that was when Becca told him that he needed to get some sleep, too, and he tried making the argument that he could sleep on the floor but Becca told him that “rules are rules.” He wasn’t happy when he left, but Clarke couldn’t blame him.

For her next classes, Clarke does her best to focus on what’s being taught. Since Octavia is going to be okay she knows that she can’t let herself get distracted when she’s supposed to be paying attention. If her mother knew, she would tell her that she would have to pay attention, too, and so she tries. She raises her hand to answer Mr. Jay’s questions, and she reads a passage in Mrs. Winnifred’s class, and slowly she can feel herself beginning to feel better as the day goes on. She keeps reminding herself that Octavia will feel better when they’re back home, and that helps, until she gets to lunch and sees Bellamy.

He’s sitting by himself with his tan tray sitting in front of him untouched on the table. She looks around, trying to find Miller or Murphy, and she sees the two of them already sitting down with Monty and Jasper. _Weird_. All of them usually eat lunch together, despite the fact that Bellamy and Clarke clearly can’t even talk to each other, but there’s never been a day when the eight of them haven’t sat together.

She moves towards the table with the rest of her friends, squeezing into the seat between Miller and Jasper, but she looks around Miller’s shoulder and towards Bellamy again. “Why is he over there?”

“Said he wanted to be alone,” Monty whispers, his dark eyes looking towards his friend. “He got up and left.”

“Why would he want to be alone? That’s sad.”

Miller shrugs. “Whenever Octavia is sick he doesn’t like talking to us.”

“And he always throws a fit and says he wants to stay home, too,” Harper adds, looking from him to Clarke.

“Is she always getting sick?”

“Usually a cold or something, but this is the first time this has happened.” Miller sighs, poking at the mac and cheese sitting on his tray in front of him.

“If we all go over there he can’t tell all of us to leave.” Clarke grabs her tray and goes to stand, but the rest of her friends stay where they are, all of them looking at her.

“It’s better to just leave him alone,” Murphy says, his voice void of any sarcasm for the first time since she arrived, and Clarke looks over at him.

“I don’t think that.”

Despite the fact that it’s clear that her friends aren’t going to follow her, she grabs her tray and gets up. She takes a deep breath, turning to where Bellamy is sitting and then walking towards him. _Everyone needs a friend_ , she tells herself. _You aren’t doing anything by just sitting with him_. He doesn’t look up as she nears the table and he doesn’t look at her when she sits down, either.

“Go away.”

Much like her first lunch at the house, Clarke is nervous and her hands are beginning to sweat as she holds onto her tray, so she lets it go and runs them over her pants. Taking a deep breath, she says, “No.”

That gets Bellamy to look up at her, and he doesn’t look happy but, then again, he hasn’t looked happy anytime he’s looked at her. “I said I don’t want you here.”

“Too bad.” Clarke rolls her shoulders back and lifts her chin, turning her attention back to her food that’s undoubtedly getting cold.

“Leave.”

“No.” Clarke looks back at him, matching his glare head on. Her heart beat is loud in her ears as they stare at each other, but she doesn’t back down. She’s going to sit here and eat her lunch and he can’t force her away from the table. No one should be sitting alone so she’s not going to let him.

After a moment, Bellamy rolls his eyes and looks away from her, and Clarke lets out a silent breath as she begins to eat. For the rest of lunch, they don’t talk to each other and they don’t look at each other, but Clarke doesn’t mind. She’s happy when he eats a few bites of his mac and cheese though. When the bell is rung, signaling for them to go to their next classes, the two of them walk to the trashcans together to get rid of the left over food before putting them on the spinning trays, but then they go their separate ways to get to their classrooms.

When Harper takes her seat beside her, she gives Clarke a small smile as they pull out their notebooks. “I thought the two of you would start fighting.”

“We just didn’t talk.”

“Yeah, but, still.”

The teacher comes in, closing the door while telling the class what page to turn to for their lesson, and Clarke settles in for class. She feels a little better now that she’s eaten and because of the fact that she was able to sit with Bellamy without them fighting. She can tell that he’s unhappy, but so is everyone else and they weren’t pushing each other away, so he shouldn’t push his friends away, either.

Later, when everyone is loading onto the bus, Clarke notices when Bellamy is walking towards Octavia’s seat and he looks at her, too. It’s not for long and they don’t say anything to each other, but he also doesn’t glare at her as he moves all the way towards the window and places his backpack beside him, but this time closer than this morning allowing Murphy to sit beside him again. Despite the weight that’s still hanging over everyone, this is the first time Murphy hasn’t say anything remotely mean to her, even though he only talked to her once, and she and Bellamy were able to talk without arguing. For the most part. _It’s not much, but it’s a start,_ as he father would say.

~

When they all get back to the house, Clarke and Harper run up the stairs and towards their room, wanting to see how Octavia is doing. When they open the door, their friend smiles at them as she puts down the coloring book she was using and then the girls drop their backpacks as they climb onto her bed with her.

“How are you feeling?” Clarke asks, pulling her knees up to her chest.

“Better. Bex hasn’t let me leave the room though. I’ve been bored.”

“Well, you didn’t miss anything at school.” Harper stretches out on the bed, rolling onto her stomach. “Bellamy has been upset all day, though.”

At the sound of her brother’s name, Octavia looks around past Clarke and towards their bedroom door. “Where is he?”

“He’s coming. He said he was going to put down his backpack first.”

“Oh, okay.” Octavia sinks back into her pillows and looks down at the coloring book page, and when Clarke cranes her neck to see what it is, she notices that it’s of two frogs. The bigger one has the smaller one on its shoulders, both of them smiling, and Octavia had written her name by the smaller one and Bellamy’s name by the bigger one.

Clarke doesn’t know what it’s like to have a sibling, but from what she’s seen of Octavia and Bellamy she’s beginning to understand. They can argue with each other one minute and then be laughing the next, and even though it’s clear that they get on each other’s nerves, Bellamy is still there when Octavia asks him to be. Of course, within their friend group it’s the same way for the most part but it’s not _exactly_ the same. The same could be said for Jasper and Monty, since they’ve known each other their entire lives, but even they don’t seem to have quite the same connection as the brother and sister.

As promised, Bellamy appears at the bedroom door with his backpack no where to be seen and different clothes, and the others follow him into the room, too. Despite the fact that it’s a rule that boys and girls aren’t supposed to be in the same room with one another, Becca seems to make a few exceptions. Like when someone isn’t feeling well. Clarke climbs off the bed and Harper follows after her, giving Bellamy a chance to take up his spot from the night before. Clarke watches as Octavia shows him the picture she colored in and Bellamy smiles at her as she rips it out of the book and hands it to him.

He looks happier than he did this morning, and when they were at lunch, and Clarke and Harper both grab a change of clothes, too, and head towards the bathroom, giving Octavia and Bellamy some time to talk and letting everyone else get settled into the room. They know that they’re not going to go to ballet practice today, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is helping Octavia feel better and not having her be as lonely.

~

Laying in bed, Clarke begins to think about something she can do for Octavia. Becca and a few other adults came in with their dinner and Clarke noticed that she brought enough for the eight of them, and then she came back a few hours later to make sure that the boys went back to their rooms, but Clarke can’t help but feel like she should do something more. Her friends brought her hot chocolate and cookies when she wasn’t feeling good, and they weren’t able to do that last night since they had to wake Becca up, but tonight…

Decision made, Clarke kicks back her blankets as softly as she can and then pulls on her slippers. She asked Miller where the kitchen was and he told her that there’s a small hallway just before the room with the big T.V. that leads down to the kitchen, though she hasn’t been there herself. _It can’t be that hard to grab something_. She thinks about waking up Harper to come with her, but she knows that her friend is as tired as she is, and she doesn’t know where the guys’ rooms are. So, she figures she’ll just have to do this on her own.

She opens the door as quietly as she can and slips out of it, keeping to the edge of the hall but following the bright white light of the moon that’s shining in through the big window. She likes seeing the castle at night like this, it makes it look prettier than the sunlight. The dark blue rug that runs the length of the second floor almost looks like it’s glowing as she walks across it, and Clarke is so caught up in trying to take in the sights around her that she doesn’t realize that there’s someone coming down the stairs from the third floor.

She freezes, her mind immediately going to thought of it being Becca and that she’s going to have to explain to her why she’s out of bed, but it’s not. Instead, it’s Bellamy, his black, curly hair wild. Like he kept tossing and turning and now has a bad case of bed head. Clarke sighs as she looks at him, his brown eyes bright in moonlight.

“What are you doing?” He whispers, and Clarke looks from him to the stairs that lead to the first floor.

“I was going to get something for Octavia.”

“Is she okay?” His eyes widen, but Clarke nods her head.

“Yeah, I jus thought she might want chocolate or something in the morning.”

“Oh.” He stares at her. Clarke doesn’t know why, but he does. Something crosses his face, but she’s not sure what it is exactly. His eyebrow furrow together for a moment and his head tilts to the side a fraction, but then: “Me, too.”

“You were going to the kitchen?” She asks, looking once again from him to the stairs, and Bellamy nods.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll go with you.”

Bellamy seems like he wants to tell her no but to Clarke’s surprise, he doesn’t say anything. He rounds the corner of the stairs to the third floor and begins the descent to the first, and Clarke follows behind him. There aren’t very many lights lit around the building, except for a few by the front door, but the large window gives them all they need until they make their way to the far hallway that the T.V. room and hallway to the kitchen are.

As they walk the moonlight begins to disappear, but there are more windows lining the walls that don’t make it seem as scary. Clarke follows Bellamy when he takes a right and turns down a hall that doesn’t have any lights, but she realizes that he knows it better than she does because he stops after a moment and reaches out, placing his hand on a doorknob. He opens it slowly, a few creaks echoing in the open area, but he doesn’t open it anymore than to the point where they can both just slip through it. Clarke can barely make him out in what little light is surrounding them, and her mind begins to reel with the possibilities of what could be lurking in the dark. Her dad always told her she had an active imagination.

She sucks in a breath and holds it as her dad’s voice echoes in her ears. _There aren’t any monsters. Your mind only thinks that there are_. Bellamy looks back at her but the only thing Clarke can see is his silhouette. An outline against darkness. She doesn’t want him to think that she’s scared because she knows that he’ll make fun of her for it but—his hand comes out and wraps around hers, and Clarke tries to make out his eyes. She can’t, but he gives it a squeeze before letting it go again, then she’s following him even further into the darkness.

They aren’t walking for very long when Bellamy reaches up and flips a light switch, and then the room is being bathed in yellow light. The kitchen is larger than she thought and definitely larger than her parents’ kitchen back home. There are big, shiny metal tables lining the middle of the room with more shiny metal things lining the walls, and in the back of the room is a large refrigerator and baskets upon baskets of fruit and vegetables. Pots and pans hang from the ceiling, not low enough for Clarke to reach but definitely the adults, and then she notices all of the cabinets that are lining the room, too.

Bellamy doesn’t say anything as he moves to the right of the tables in the middle of the room and Clarke follows him silently. He walks to one of the cabinets that’s tucked away in the back corner and as she comes to stand in front of it, Bellamy opens the doors. Inside there’s candy. _A lot_ of candy. There are suckers, Jolly Ranchers, Skittles, Nerds, and then there’s a bunch of chocolate from M&Ms to Hershey bars and the balls of chocolate wrapped in red wrappers like the one Murphy gave Bellamy, then hot chocolate packs and marshmallows. Clarke’s eyes are wide as she takes everything in, not knowing where to start with trying to pick.

“What does Octavia like?”

“Depends.” Bellamy reaches out and grabs one of the smaller bars of Hershey’s. “She likes M&Ms but when she’s sick she wants more chocolate.”

Clarke picks up one of the red wrapped chocolates. “I was thinking of giving her this.”

“She would like that.” Bellamy looks from her hand to her and the realization that this is the most they’ve talked without fighting hits her like a wave. _Why is he being nice to me?_ “We can’t be here long.”

That shakes Clarke out of her thoughts and she grabs two more chocolates, one for her and one for Harper, and then Bellamy grabs a couple of mini bags of M&Ms before they’re making their way back to the door. When the light turns off Clarke finds herself calmer than she was before, and then her and Bellamy are walking back to the stairs. A clock in the foyer chimes the time and when Clarke looks at it hanging from the walkway above them, she notices that it’s midnight. And she feels exhausted.

They walk up the stairs quietly, with their shoulder’s running against the bar wall with their hands filled with chocolate. It’s an unspoken understanding that Bellamy would be walking with Clarke back to her room, and he opens the door slowly, much like the one to the kitchen, and then they let out a soft sigh of relief once it’s closed behind them. Clarke still doesn’t know what the consequences would be if they were caught out of bed, but she doesn’t want to find out, either.

Bellamy walks towards Octavia’s side of the nightstand and puts down the little bar of Hershey’s and Clarke comes up beside him and places the two wrapped chocolates by each of her friends’ beds. She watches as Bellamy looks down at his little sister, but then he turns to look at her, and she stills.

“Thanks for helping me,” he says softly.

“She’s my friend.”

Bellamy nods his head. “Yeah.” He looks back at his sister, then to the door, and then back to Clarke. “I should go. Night.”

“Goodnight,” she whispers, and then Bellamy is disappearing into the hall.

The bed beside her creaks and Clarke jumps, turning around to see Harper’s eyes open and looking at her. “Did you two go to the kitchen?”

“Yeah.” Clarke nods towards the chocolate on the corner of the nightstand. “I brought this back for you.”

Harper looks at the piece of chocolate and then back at her. “You went with Bellamy?”

“Yeah.”

“And you didn’t fight?”

“No.” Clarke shrugs then turns around and walks towards her bed, kicking off her slippers and crawling under the covers.

“Huh.”

Neither of them say anything else and even though Clarke is curious about why Bellamy is suddenly deciding to be nice to her, she’s too tired to keep thinking about it. So, before she realizes it, she’s getting pulled off into sleep with her chocolate sitting on the table beside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a start right? :)
> 
> We’re halfway through!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	10. ⋄ Chapter Nine ⋄

**_March 28, 2133  
In-Transit_ **

Clarke bounces in her seat as she looks out of the tinted windows, watching the world go by as they make their way down the road. Everyone chats excitedly around her, with some kids turning around in their seats to talk to others and then someone taps on her shoulder and Clarke looks between the two seats, only to have Monty already looking at her.

“Are you excited?”

“Yeah! This is the first camping trip I’m going on.”

“You’ll have so much fun.” Jasper’s face replaces Monty’s. “We get to make s’mores.”

“We get to make s’mores at home,” Bellamy says from the seat across the aisle from her. She turns to look at him and he smiles. “The rope swing is the best.”

“Can I swing on now, Bell?” Octavia asks, and Bellamy looks down at her. “I’m six.”

“Yeah, you can swing on it,” Bellamy sighs, getting off his knees and sitting down. “But when I tell you to let go you need to let go.”

“I know.” Octavia rolls her eyes, but Bellamy only smiles bigger as he turns to look at Clarke.

“Have you ever swung on a rope swing?”

“No, we never went anywhere that had one.” Clarke thinks about the vacations she’s taken with her parents, but the most those places was either a diving board or a tire swing.

“It’s really fun, even if it can seem a little too high,” Harper says, leaning back in her seat. “But no one has gotten hurt from it.”

“Yet,” snorts Murphy, and Clarke looks over at him in time to see Miller elbow him.

“Alright, kids,” Becca calls from the front of the bus, and her voice quiets everyone. “We’ll be at the campground in a few minutes so remember what that means. Pick your buddy, stay with them, and myself and some of the other adults will be around to help you all get your tents up. Understood?”

There’s a chorus of agreements that echo throughout the bus, and Becca smiles before she puts on her dark sunglasses and turns around back in her seat. Excitement hums in Clarke’s veins as the bus takes a left and starts down a dirt path, and she presses her nose up against the window as they’re swallowed up by trees. For as far as she can see, there is nothing but trees and pine needles and pinecones covering the ground, with a few squirrels that make an appearance here and there. The sun is high in the sky, the winter cold and bleakness having melted with the rising temperatures. Its rays break through the canopy above them, giving the woods a golden color that Clarke’s missed. She loves winter and the snow that comes with it, but summer is her favorite.

After another couple of minutes of driving the bus finally comes to a stop and all of the kids, the older teenagers included, all get up and clamber towards the opening doors. The adults don’t even try and tell the kids to slow down and Clarke assumes it’s because they know it’s useless. They bring a bunch of kids to the woods to go camping and swim in the lake, they can’t exactly expect them to _not_ run around as soon as they’re able to.

Clarke grabs ahold of the back of Harper’s backpack as the other girl pushes her way into the aisle, ignoring the scowl that Bellamy gives her but Clarke just smirks at him. Even though the two of them are able to actually talk to each other now, they still have some tension between them when it comes to playing games. Anything involving competition is one place they’ll still fight, and right now, she and Harper just won the first chance to get off.

Stepping off the bus, Clarke inhales deeply, loving the smell of the trees and dirt, and she looks up when she hears a flock of birds begin to chirp. It reminds her of some of the trips she took with her parents and her heart aches, but she knows that she’ll be able to talk to them when they get back and tell them everything that she did while here. Harper turns around grinning, her blonde braid pulled over her shoulder under her navy blue hat.

“This place is awesome, right?”

“Definitely.” Clarke turns around in place, trying to take everything in. “Where are we camping?”

“Girls get one side of the camp, boys the other,” Miller says, walking off the bus behind her. “That’s your side.” He points to the left, noticing where some of the older girls are putting down their packs and staring at the tent materials.

“I’ve never put up a tent before.”

“Don’t worry, Clarke.” Becca gets off the bus, too, her eyes hidden behind her sunglasses and her hair pulled back into its usual ponytail. “We don’t let all of you try and build them yourselves.”

“She couldn’t even if she tried,” Murphy drawls, and Bellamy appears behind him, pushing him.

“Murphy, I will call your dad and tell him how rude you’re being.” Even though Becca’s eyes are hidden, the thin line her lips are pressed in is enough to have Clarke picturing the glare she’s giving him.

“Sorry,” he mumbles to Clarke, and she smiles.

“It’s okay. I know you’re a butt.”

That gathers a laugh out of everyone and even the corner of Becca’s mouth turns up before she tells Clarke that she shouldn’t talk like that. Murphy gives her a dirty look, but Clarke doesn’t pay it much attention before Harper is pulling her towards the tents. Bellamy follows them, too, but only because he’s partnered with Octavia for the time they’re here, just how Clarke has partnered with Harper, Monty with Jasper, and Miller with Murphy. So, the four of them gather around one of the tents and Bellamy begins pulling out some of the parts as one of the older girls, Elaina, comes to help them.

At this point, Clarke knows everyone’s name and she knows that if she ever needs help with something then she can always ask one of the older kids, but she only ever really talks to her few friends for the most part. It’s like school. Everyone has their friends and the group that they’ll sit with when they eat, but at the end of the day they all go back home to the same place and they’re all friends. Just they’re more friends with some than others.

It doesn’t take long for the tents to be put up and then Becca tells them that they’re free to do what they want, as long as they don’t wander too far from the campsite and they keep their partners with them. The three girls smile at each other as they thank Elaina and then duck into their tent, zipping it up behind them. They planned to wear their swimsuits under their clothes so they wouldn’t have to spend time changing, and when they emerge with their towels they make their way to where one of the other adults is spraying kids down with sunscreen.

“Okay, we have to go to the lake first and you _have_ to jump off the rope swing,” Harper says over her shoulder. “That’s the rule.”

“I think I can do that.” Clarke holds her breath as she’s sprayed down with the sunscreen and once Octavia is sprayed, too, they all take off running in the same direction as the other kids.

The ground is uneven with holes and the roots of the trees are mangled and twisted together, but, thankfully, Clarke doesn’t fall. Standing at the top of the embankment, Clarke smiles at the sight in front of her. The lake is huge, much bigger than the one at the castle, and the sun shines brightly down onto it, showing the water’s brown color. There are already a few kids splashing around near the bank, and a few of the older kids are walking along a tree limb that’s nearly submerged in the water, but before Clarke can fully notice everything, she’s being hauled towards the line for the rope swing.

“Clarke hasn’t jumped on it yet, let her go first!” Harper calls, and, to Clarke’s surprise, all of the other kids move out of the way and Atom reaches down to help her up on to the platform. He smiles at her as he grabs the rope and hands it to her.

“Nervous?”

Clarke looks from him and then down at the water below the platform. They’re already high up, and now she’s supposed to swing even higher? “A little.”

“Don’t be. It’s awesome.”

Clarke grabs the rope and then Atom and Harper tell her to grab it higher while Atom also tells her that she’s going to have to hold on tight until she swings out far enough. “Are we sure no one’s been hurt from this?”

“I hurt my ear last year but I was fine.” Atom shrugs, and suddenly Clarke doesn’t want to be up here anymore.

“Jump! Jump! Jump!” Everyone begins to cheer for her. From the kids waiting in line to the teenagers on the tree limb, and Clarke takes a deep breath as she grips the rope tighter, takes a couple of steps back, and then runs off the platform.

Honestly, she’s amazed that she was able to even hold herself on the rope, and as she soars higher and higher into the air she looks down at the sun sparkling off the water and the faces watching her. “Let go!” Bellamy’s voice calls, and Clarke doesn’t hesitate as she lets go of the rope and crashes down into the water. The impact nearly knocks the breath out of her, but when she comes back up through the surface she can’t help but grin.

Another chorus of cheers erupts from everyone and Clarke turns her attention back to the platform where Atom is now helping Octavia fix her grip on the rope. She looks to where Bellamy is already in the water and he’s focused on his little sister and her first time on the rope swing. Octavia finds her brother, too, and waves at him a little before following Clarke’s journey through the air. She crashes down in the water, too, and both Clarke and Bellamy swim towards her, smiling.

“You did it,” Bellamy says brightly. “How was it?”

“It was awesome, Bell!” Octavia’s smile is bright as she looks at her brother. “I want to do it again.”

“I’d like to go again, too.” Clarke grins.

“Then, lets go.”

So, that’s what they do. The three of them join the line of people that are waiting to swing on the rope, and slowly they’re able to make their way back up to the platform. Clarke’s surprised that she’s never been able to do this before, but now she knows what all of the excitement was about. Apparently the adults don’t bring them camping that often, but it’s more than most of the kids ever did with their parents. Once again, the thought of her parents captures Clarke’s thoughts and she looks down at the ground. _I wonder what they’re doing right now._ The feeling of someone squeezing her shoulder breaks her out of her thoughts and she looks up, seeing Bellamy standing in front of her. He gives her a small smile and she does her best to return it, trying to push her parents out of her mind.

 _I’ll get to talk to them soon_.

Before long, the three of them are standing on the platform again with their friends cheering them on, and this time Clarke doesn’t hesitate when the rope is placed in her hands. It’s fun—exciting—and she’s glad that she gets to experience it for the first time with her friends. She’s not sure how long they’re out there, but at some point one of the adults comes up, telling everyone that they need to put on more sunscreen, but then they’re all back out in the water.

Clarke notices some of the older kids leaving the water and disappearing through the tree line, but before she can ask where they’re going, a large splash of water comes from the side and washes over her. She turns, finding Bellamy grinning at her. Clarke huffs and pushes back the water with as much force as she can gather, and he ducks under the water, causing the wave to hit Harper in the back of the head. Her friend turns around, her mouth agape and Clarke’s eyes widen as Bellamy pops back up to the surface, laughing.

“Bellamy!” Harper calls, and he whips around.

“What? I didn’t do—” Harper cuts him off with a splash, and then all of their friends are splashing around in the water, their laughs carrying out over the lake.

~

The campfire is bigger than Clarke thought it would be as she huddles deeper into her jacket, waiting for the pack of marshmallows to be handed to her. Her face feels hot and tight, which usually means she has a sunburn, and her eyes are beginning to droop as she stares at the orange light in front of her. The flames rise high into the night sky, its sparks lifting up in the clearing of the trees and burning out before it reaches the tops.

There’s a constant murmur around her as the rest of the kids talk around the fire, all sitting on various logs and stumps as they stick their marshmallows into the fire with their packs of graham crackers in their laps. The adults have their own fire a few feet away, giving the kids some room to just sit around and talk with each other since they’re in a different setting than just sitting around the castle. The bag of marshmallows gets passed to Clarke and she takes it, sticking her hand in and pulling out a couple of the soft, sugary cubes as someone sets a stump down beside her.

She jumps a little, wondering who it is since she opted to take the stump between the two logs that her friends were sitting on and when she looks, it’s Murphy. She blinks at him a couple of times, but he acts like there’s nothing out of the ordinary with his seating choice and just holds his hand out for the bag of marshmallows. She does, though she finds herself waiting for him to do _something_ that would upset her, but he doesn’t.

Even while she puts her marshmallow on the end of her stick and gets her chocolate ready for when it’s done, Clarke finds herself looking at Murphy out of the corner of her eye. Even though she and Bellamy are friends now, she can’t say the same about her and the boy sitting next to her. He teases her every chance he gets and is always looking for an opportunity to give her trouble, but he willingly sat beside her just a moment ago. Then, he holds out a piece of gum.

“What are you doing?”

“Giving you a piece of gum,” he sighs.

“Why?”

“Do you want it or not?” He looks at her then, his blue eyes looking nearly green in the firelight under his brown hair.

Silently, she reaches out and takes it. She runs her fingers over the silver wrapper, idly wondering where he gets all of this stuff, and then she tucks it into her jacket pocket. “Thank you.”

Neither of them say anything for a few moments with Clarke focusing on her marshmallows and then doing her best to squish it between the chocolate and graham crackers, and Murphy doing the same. She hasn’t even sat by him very much unless she had to, meaning that that, usually, it was when the only open spot to eat was next to him so she didn’t have any other choice. But, again, he chose to sit here and now he just gave her a piece of gum and she’s beginning to wonder if he’s feeling sick.

“Why did you give me this?”

“Should I not’ve?”

“Well, you’re not nice to me.”

“So, I can’t give you a piece of gum?” He raises his eyebrows at her, though it’s barely perceptible under his long hair.

“No, I just—”

“Bellamy told me to,” he says, looking back into the fire. “Apparently I’ve been too mean.”

Clarke snorts. “You don’t say.” Murphy sighs deeply, and Clarke gives him a sidelong look. “What did I ever do to you?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know.”

Once again, neither of them say anything more as they begin to eat the s’mores that they’ve made, and Clarke looks to where Bellamy is sitting next to Octavia. He’s helping her make her own s’more before he turns to make his own, and Clarke suddenly feels like she should tell him thanks. She once resigned herself to the fact that she and him wouldn’t be friends, but after that night they were both going to the kitchen to get something for Octavia, things changed. But she never expected for things to change between her and Murphy.

Becca once told her that he was mean to the people he didn’t know, but he didn’t seem like he wanted to get to know her and she didn’t want to get to know someone who didn’t want to know her. Now, even though they’re sitting beside each other and he’s offered her a piece of gum, that doesn’t exactly mean that they’re _friends_ , but it’s a start. _Right?_

For the rest of their time around the fire, Clarke and Murphy just sit next to each other, eating the crackers and chocolate and marshmallows that make up their dinner. At one point, Harper looks over at her and raises her eyebrows and Clarke shrugs. It’s not much, and she’s not entirely sure what it means, but she’ll take it. Whatever _it_ is.

Eventually, the others begin to go into their tents and the fire becomes smaller and smaller until Clarke decides to turn in for the night. Octavia fell asleep earlier, and by the time Clarke settles into her sleeping bag beside Harper, it looks like the other girl is nearly asleep, too. But, even so, she turns around and Clarke can just make out her eyes in the dim light, though she can see her arched eyebrow clearly.

“What did Murphy want?”

“He gave me a piece of gum.” Clarke chuckles, and Harper does the same.

“Gum?”

“Yeah. I don’t know. He said that Bellamy told him to.”

“Why?”

Clarke shrugs. “I guess it’s just his way of saying sorry for being so mean to me, but he didn’t actually tell me that.”

“It’s something, though. Right?”

“Yeah,” Clarke says, settling into her sleeping bag, “I guess.”

She falls asleep to the sound of the fire crackling outside of the tent, and when she wakes up the next morning the embers are still smoldering as the adults try to gather everyone for breakfast. Overall, as far as her first experience camping goes, it’s the best she could have hoped for. Murphy even talks to her more than before, even though it’s still not much, but that’s enough.

By the time she’s able to talk to her parents, Clarke definitely has a lot to tell them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're all becoming friends :)
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	11. ⋄ Chapter Ten ⋄

⋄⋄⋄

The years go on and Clarke finds herself growing used to life inside of the castle. Waking up in the morning for school, coming home and learning ballet or going to art lessons, spending her free time with her friends and writing down things to talk to her parents about. They live inside of the castle doing everything they would if they were with their parents, and Clarke and Bellamy’s friendship develops in a way others never thought it would. Some days are harder than others, the weight of knowing that she’s what stands between her parents and true safety, but it’s clear that the others feel the same way. It’s not easy, living hidden away from everything and everything with only one another but, someday they’ll be able to go home. For now, though, this house is their home—this castle—and that’s what matters.

⋄⋄⋄

* * *

**_Six Months Earlier_ **   
**_May 3, 2143_ **   
**_The Castle_ **

The moonlight streams in through the open windows and Clarke laughs as Harper glares at the braid she’s been trying to make from her hair. Of course, Harper knows how to braid, but every so often her hands will get ahead of where she wants to be and then she has to start over again. Even Bellamy could never figure out how she would mess up sometimes, but more often than naught she would get it right. Tonight, though, does not seem like one of those nights.

The sound of a rock hitting the window gets their attention as well as Octavia’s and Harper grins as she moves to look out of it. “Monty is telling us to come down,” she says, biting at her bottom lip. “Ready, Octavia?”

The brunette appears from behind the closet door, her green eyes bright. “Hell yeah, I am.”

For her sixteenth birthday, Octavia wanted to do something fun, so that’s what they’re doing. The boys told them that they should be ready for whenever they gave them the signal—assuming the signal was them throwing rocks against their window—and that they would take care of everything else. So, the three of them grab their shoes before slipping out of Octavia’s bedroom door.

The hall is dark, exactly how it’s been since Clarke was brought here, but she’s not scared of the dark how she used to be. Octavia’s hands come to rest on her shoulders as they tip toe down the hall and towards the stairs, and then they’re sliding towards the backdoor in their socks. They try to stay as quiet as they can, but Octavia’s excitement spreads into Clarke and Harper to the point that they’re all trying to stifle their laughs as they open the backdoor and plunge into the night air.

The others are waiting for them are the others and they all smile when the three of them close the door. Octavia laughs softly as she skips towards her brother, and even though Clarke can see the smile he’s fighting to hide, it makes its way onto his face anyway. Even the others are smiling, though Murphy looks a little more smug than usual.

“What are we doing, Bell?” Octavia asks, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “What’s the surprise?”

Bellamy rolls his eyes, but he smiles. “You get a surprise and you want me to ruin it?”

“Come _on_ ,” Octavia pleads, but then Jasper is there, looking as excited as a puppy.

“You come on.” He nods his head towards the lake, and then the rest of the group follows him as he leads the way up the hill.

Clarke falls into step beside Murphy, the guy having stuffed his hands in his hands in his pockets with the same smug look on his face. “You look really happy with yourself.”

“I just like parties,” he says, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. “Don’t you?”

“Oh, yeah. You know, because the castle is bursting with parties every weekend,” Clarke teases.

“We deserve to have some fun every now and then, right?”

Before Clarke can answer, they make their way to the top of the hill and Clarke’s mouth drops at what she sees in front of her. Candles have been lit at various points across the sand with a few of them spelling _16_ and then there’s an ice chest and a few blankets that have been set out. She’s not sure how they were able to get any of this out of the house without the adults knowing, since they started locking the door to the kitchen a few years ago, but if Murphy’s smirk is anything to go by then she’s sure she can figure it out.

“Oh my god,” Octavia gasps. “Thank you!” She crushes her brother in a hug and Bellamy chuckles as he wraps his arm around her and tries to keep himself from falling back. Even though Octavia is still small, she packs quite a punch.

“I’m not the only one who put this together,” Bellamy whispers, and then Octavia breaks away from him and gives everyone else a hug, ruffling Monty’s hair as she goes and coaxing Murphy into giving her a hug, too.

“Thanks, guys.”

“No problem.” Monty smiles. “Now, who wants to party?”

The seven of them cheer as they all begin to make their way down the embankment, and then quiet music begins to be played off from somewhere. They have to keep quiet or else they’ll be found by the other adults and they definitely don’t want that to happen. Last time they got in trouble Becca had them cleaning the toilets with toothbrushes. Not _their_ toothbrushes, but toothbrushes nonetheless.

Clarke walks towards the ice chest, wondering what they were able to get from the kitchen, and when she opens the white lid, she stops. _Alcohol?_ She reaches down and pulls out a mason jar filled with honey colored liquid, staring at it. _How did they get this?_ Of course, she figured that the adults would have to have some sort of alcohol in the house, but she’s never seen any of them drink it and figured they wouldn’t have it in the kitchen. She looks around at the others, trying to figure out where exactly this came from, and she can feel someone come to a stop beside her. But she doesn’t have to look to know who it is.

“What’s with that look?”

“Alcohol?” She whispers, turning around to look at Bellamy, and he raises an eyebrow at her.

“Not my idea.”

“Monty and Jasper?”

“Yep.” Bellamy pops the ‘p’ and then looks to where it looks like the two boys are trying to find rocks. “They wanted to try out their mead.”

“I still don’t understand how they’re able to get away with everything,” Clarke says, setting the mason jar back into the ice chest. “Where do they hide this during room inspections?”

“You know, at this point I’ve just learned not to ask.” The corner of his mouth turns up and Clarke takes a moment to look at him. In the moonlight his skin seems to glow and black hair blends in with the trees behind him. She’s spent years looking at him but, in her defense, it’s a little hard not to.

“So, what? They beat you two to one?”

“Try four to one,” Miller says, coming up to grab the mason jar out of the ice chest. “It’s not all for Octavia,” he smirks.

“We didn’t have any alcohol for our sixteenth birthdays.” Clarke puts a hand on her hip, just in time for Murphy to walk over, eyeing the glass jar in Miller’s hand.

“That’s because none of us cared.” He reaches out for the mason jar but Miller pulls it out of reach.

“Octavia gets the first sip, that’s what we agreed on.” Miller raises an eyebrow at his friend, and Murphy rolls his eyes as Octavia appears over his shoulder.

“I get first sip of what?”

“Our Mead.” Jasper grins.

“Yeah, we’ve been working on it for months.”

“You guys _made_ alcohol?” Harper’s eyebrows arch in a crescent towards her hairline. “ _How?”_

“A good magician never reveals his secrets.” Jasper’s grin widens to that of the Cheshire cat’s and then he takes the jar out of Miller’s hand and unscrews the lid before passing it to Octavia. “Happy birthday.”

“If it sucks, don’t kill us,” Monty teases, and Octavia raises an eyebrow at him, smiling, but as she raises the jar up to take a sip, she looks at her brother.

Bellamy shrugs. “I won’t stop you.”

So, with that, Octavia raises the glass to her lips and takes a sip, which is immediately followed by her eyes going wide and a groan. “What is this?” Octavia glares down at the glass.

“Mead,” Jasper says, deflated.

“Or, it was supposed to be.” Monty pouts, too.

“All alcohol tastes terrible and that’s why you should never drink it,” Bellamy says, putting his hands in his pockets and his little sister looks at him.

“You drink it.”

“I’m also older than you.”

“So? Clarke doesn’t drink it.”

“That’s why you should follow her example in not mine.”

“I’m not the big brother.” Clarke crosses her arms over her chest and looks up at the guy standing beside her. “Don’t bring me into this.”

“You were her roommate for years—”

“Roommate doesn’t trump brother, Bellamy,” Harper laughs.

“Alright,” Murphy reaches over, taking the jar from Octavia’s hands, “enough talking, more drinking.”

Clarke and Bellamy look at each other, a silent conversation passing between the two of them. The last time there was alcohol, nobody knows how Murphy got it, but it was Clarke and Bellamy who had to wrangle him and Jasper back into their beds. Thankfully, though, there isn’t much in the mason jar and there are eight of them, so it doesn’t seem like it’s going to do much.

Murphy takes a sip, grimacing like Octavia before handing it to Miller, who does the same, and as the mead gets passed around, the reactions are all the same. Even Jasper and Monty scowl at the liquid before putting the cap back onto it and placing it in the ice chest.

“We definitely got some work to do.” The two of them nod at each other before going back to their search for rocks, and some of the others step into the water.

“Clarke, want to be the referee?” Octavia calls, and Clarke smiles.

“Sure.” She makes her way to the pier, taking care to watch out for the roots that have nearly reached the old, sunbaked wood, and then she walks towards the edge, looking back at her friends. “Everyone ready?”

There’s a chorus of agreements and then some more of her friends are standing in the water up to their ankles, and she looks out over the water. She gives a countdown and then the rocks fly out over the black water. They cause ripples in the surface, breaking the moon’s reflection and the sounds of them sinking echo to the pier. There’s one rock that nearly goes further than the pier and when she looks Octavia is smiling triumphantly.

“Octavia wins!” She calls, and her friend cheers softly before pulling another rock out of her pocket and tossing it up in the air.

Bellamy pulls out another rock, too, and Clarke smirks as she watches him readjust his grip on it. It took a while, but he finally started listening to her—though he would never admit it—and now his rocks don’t immediately sink. _But he’s still not as good as me_. When the others call to her that they’re ready, Clarke gives another countdown and then the rocks are flying out of their hands and across the water. But she doesn’t get time to call the winner because someone comes from the side and knocks her into the water.

Clarke flails as she falls but then she’s submerged in freezing blackness, and she can feel her muscles constrict as she tries to get back to the surface. When she comes up, she’s gasping, looking for the pier, but the ladder broke years ago and was never fixed. The person who knocked her in laughs from above her and when she looks up, Murphy is grinning down at her.

“Murphy!” She gasps, her teeth chattering. “What the fuck was that?”

“The water isn’t that cold.”

“It’s freezing,” she seethes, and she tries to swim back to the pier.

“I think you’re overexaggerating.”

“Then you get in.”

“Can’t. New shirt.” He squats down when Clarke reaches the pier, and she holds her hand out. “Sure you don’t want to keep—”

Murphy falls head first into the water, and when Clarke looks up Octavia is smirking above her. Her friend leans down and helps haul her onto the pier, but despite her best efforts to keep herself from shivering, it’s useless.

“What—” Murphy splutters.

“You wanted to go for a swim. Right, Murphy?” Octavia teases, and Murphy shakes his head as he grabs onto the pier and hauls himself up onto it.

“Touché.” He wrings his shirt out and Clarke has half the mind to push him back in.

“Seriously?” Clarke groans, her teeth still chattering, and Murphy shrugs.

“I just wanted to push you in.”

Clarke rolls her eyes and then turns, making her way down the pier with Octavia walking beside her, but then Murphy is there, draping his arm over her shoulders. “I’m sorry for pushing you in,” he says.

Clarke snorts. “Uh-huh.”

“Really.”

“You know, just because you learned those two words doesn’t mean you can say them and have everything be okay.” Octavia looks at Murphy, and Clarke bites the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing.

“I thought that was the whole point?” Murphy says, and Clarke turns, pushing him over the slight edge of dirt that’s been made by trees. His arms work as he falls back into the water and Clarke stops to look at him, still shivering.

“Apology accepted.” Murphy snorts, smiling a little before turning and swimming back towards the bank, and Clarke and Octavia make their way back to the rest of their friends, too.

Surprisingly, Harper is there with a towel waiting for her and when Clarke raises an eyebrow at her, her friend smiles. “Did you really think someone wasn’t going to get pushed in?”

“Thanks for the warning,” Clarke grumbles, and Harper holds up her hands.

“I’m not Murphy’s keeper.”

“No one is.” Murphy grins as he walks out of the water, and then he goes back to wringing out his shirt like on the pier.

“If I get sick I’m coming after you.” Clarke tries to make her voice sound intimidating, but shivering like a chihuahua takes away any ability to do that.

“Yeah, yeah.” Murphy waves her off as he shakes out his hair, and then a soft, orange glow comes from off to the side.

When she looks, Bellamy and Miller are kneeling next to a small fire, with both of them trying to blow on the small embers to light the rest of the straw that’s piled on top of it. They know that they can’t have a big fire, or else the adults will figure out that there’s someone out here but, right now, being able to sit down and warm up trumps the fear of getting caught. Clarke moves towards the closest blanket, wrapping her towel around her tighter and then sinking into the sand.

“Neither of you gave me a warning, either,” she mutters, holding her hands out close to the tiny flame.

“In my defense I wasn’t paying attention.” Miller looks at her from the other side of the fire, holding his hands out, too.

“Yeah, I wasn’t either.” Bellamy sits down beside her, resting his arms on his knees as he looks over at her. “Sorry.”

“Uh-huh.” Clarke begins shivering even harder and then Bellamy is there, running a hand across her upper back.

“Want some of the mead?”

“Drinking alcohol when you’re cold—”

“Won’t do shit right now,” Miller says as he stands, dusting the sand off his legs. “You’re not going to get hypothermia just sitting here.”

“You’re not freezing your ass off.”

“And the mead will warm you up.” Miller gives her a lopsided grin before walking towards the ice chest, and Clarke huddles underneath the towel.

Clarke pulls her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them as she watches the fire grow. She thinks about whether or not she would get away with sneaking back into the house and changing her clothes, but if she does that then she’ll get water everywhere and she’ll definitely get caught. Since they celebrated Octavia’s birthday earlier today, if Becca wakes up and finds any indication that they had their own party then all of them are going to get in trouble. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time.

“How are you feeling?” Bellamy asks from beside her, but Clarke keeps staring into the fire.

“Freezing.”

“Fair enough,” he chuckles.

The sound of Octavia laughing catches her attention and when Clarke looks up, she smiles as she watches Jasper trying to dance with her. She can’t hear the music very well over the sound of the crackling fire, but with how he’s dancing she’s sure it has to be something upbeat. Bellamy laughs softly beside her and when Clarke looks at him, there’s a small smile on his lips as he looks at his little sister having fun, and she nudges him with her elbow.

“You outdid yourself tonight.”

“I didn’t really do anything, actually. As soon as I brought up the idea of her having a party Monty, Jasper, and Murphy ran with it.”

“How did he even get an ice chest?”

“Beats the hell out of me,” Bellamy snorts. “How does he get any of the stuff?”

“I have my ways.” Murphy sits down across from the two of them, his own towel wrapped around his shoulders as he pulls his knees up and holds his hands out to the fire. “And Becca letting me learn how to cook has its advantages.”

 _Of course_. When they each turned sixteen, Becca let them choose something they wanted to learn more about and Murphy chose cooking. So, he’s been able to spend more time in the kitchen despite the fact that the adults have begun locking the door at night but, still. _You would think they would realize that the missing materials are tied to one kid working in the kitchen_. Miller reappears with the mason jar and a sandwich wrapped in plastic, handing them both to Clarke before taking a seat next to Murphy.

“All of you are boring,” Octavia groans as she comes to sit next to Clarke.

“Blame Murphy.” Clarke catches the other guy’s eye over the fire and he shakes his head, smiling a little.

“Oh, I do.”

The others join them with Monty carrying the ice chest and he sets it down between him and Bellamy as Jasper and Harper sit down, too. More sandwiches get passed around as does the jar of mead, and slowly Clarke begins to warm up in front of the fire as her friends talk around her. It’s mindless for the most part, talking about their upcoming tests and the idea of getting to go on another camping trip when the snow begins to fall up in the mountains. It’s a quiet night, and Clarke finds herself never wanting it to end.

At some point, though, everyone disperses and begins dancing again while Jasper and Murphy get into a wrestling match, but Clarke stays by the fire. She’s drier than she was before, but she still doesn’t remove the towel from around her shoulders as she sits there. Bellamy didn’t leave the fire, either, so the two of them sit there for a moment, just watching their friends.

“You have a birthday coming up, too,” he says softly.

“Do I? I didn’t know that.” Out of the corner of her eye she can see him smile, and she wraps her arms around her. “Is it weird that I kind of don’t want to go home?”

At that, he looks at her. The fire illuminating half of his face while the other is thrown into the shadows. “Why?”

“I’ll never get to see any of you again,” she whispers, her eyes finding her friends again. “All the time I spent here will disappear.”

“It won’t disappear. But, look at the bright side: if you leave Octavia will finally have someone to call.”

She knows he means for it to be light, something to make the idea of leaving a little more bearable, but it doesn’t help. “I would rather be here to talk to all of you. Not just Octavia.”

Bellamy falls silent and he picks up a twig that hasn’t started burning and pokes at the fire with it. “If what Becca says is true, then maybe all of us won’t have to be here for much longer.” _Right_. “Have you signed up to donate?”

“Yeah, I’m supposed to go tomorrow. Though, I don’t think they’d like it if I still have some of that stuff still in my body.” She glares at the empty mason jar that’s sitting on one of the other blankets. “Think they’ll test for it?”

“It’ll probably be gone by tomorrow so I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.” Bellamy throws the twig onto the fire then leans back on his hands. “It’s weird thinking about how everyone that’s in the house now may be the last people to ever step foot in this place.” _If only they would be so lucky._

“But that’s what the goal was, right? Find a way so we can go back home—so kids don’t have to leave their homes—to help the others understand that they don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

“Yeah, I suppose it was.”

Clarke turns to look at her friend properly, his dark eyes dancing with the reflection of the fire in them. _This is the only place he knows_. Sometimes she would forget what Octavia told her during her first few days here, that she and Bellamy didn’t have anyone to call back home. They were picked up when they were younger and it didn’t take long for Becca to be told of two siblings who were both _nightblood_. Apparently no one knows how Bellamy and Octavia were able to survive for as long as they did with no one to help them, but somehow Clarke doesn’t doubt the abilities of a six-year-old Bellamy trying to protect his sister.

“You should come home with me,” she whispers, and Bellamy turns towards her, surprise coloring his face. “When Octavia is old enough, the two of you should come to my parents.”

“Clarke—”

“It doesn’t have to be forever,” she adds quickly. “Just long enough for you to get on your feet.”

He smiles a little. “I think your parents would quickly understand why we used to hate each other.”

“I never _hated_ you. Just—strongly disliked.”

“Right.” The two of them laugh, looking back into the fire. Then Bellamy takes a deep breath. “You have two years to change your mind.”

“Not going to happen.” Clarke shakes her head, crossing her legs in front of her. “I’ve already offered and I’m not taking it back.”

“Uh-huh.”

The two of them laugh some more and then fall silent. The rest of their friends have others waiting for them whenever they’re old enough to leave. Harper has her dad, Jasper and Monty both have their parents, Miller has his dad, and Murphy has his mom, but Bellamy and Octavia don’t have anyone. At this point, everyone in the house is like a family, even with the family they already had, and Clarke knows she couldn’t go home knowing that the two of them won’t have anywhere to go afterwards. The only reason why Bellamy is still here and he didn’t leave a year ago is because Becca told him he could stay with his sister if he wanted and, well, of course he did.

“If the program works, then it may be sooner than two years,” Bellamy says after a while. “And then we won’t need somewhere to stay.”

 _The Program_. The donation. Becca told all of them that she’s discovered that _nightblood_ can be given to normal people, allowing them to heal quicker. So, she has set up a program for the rest of them to donate their blood in hopes of slowly introducing the rest of society to the idea that there’s nothing for them to be afraid. Even with what’s happened in the past.

“Yeah,” Clarke whispers. “Maybe.”

The two of them sit around the fire until eventually their friends come and pull them up and into the rest of the group, and they forget the conversation they had and just focus on Octavia and her celebrating the last few hours of her birthday.

The donation and talks of leaving can wait for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little fire-side chat? :)
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	12. ⋄ Chapter Eleven ⋄

**_May 4, 2143  
The Castle_ **

The house is bustling as Clarke makes her way to the dining room and when she walks in, she notices her friends already sitting at one of the tables, leaning over their notebooks and schoolwork. They still have a few hours until dinner will be served but given that Clarke is about to go and give blood, she wishes she had something else to eat. She pulls her sleeves down over her hands as she makes her way towards them, still trying to shake off the chill from the icy water the night before.

“Someone want to take my place this afternoon?” She asks as she sits down, and Bellamy looks up from his textbook, his dark eyes pinning her in place.

“For what?”

“The donation.” She folds her arms on the table and rests her chin on them. “I know I signed up for it, but—”

“But it sucks?” Murphy finishes for her. Looking, she notices a bulge under the sleeve of his sweater at the crook of his elbow.

“Yeah.” Clarke sighs. “I always feel so bad afterwards.”

“And those are the mandatory samples.” Harper closes her book and rests her elbows on the table, her blonde hair falling out of its haphazard bun even more. “I get that the donation is a big deal, but still.”

“No argument here.” Murphy looks down at his arm. “I still feel like I want to throw up, so there’s no way in hell I’m _offering_ to that.”

“Oh.” Clarke grimaces. “Perfect.”

“Hey,” Bellamy knocks his knee into hers under the table. “It’ll be over before you know it.”

“Famous last words,” she grumbles, and then she rests her cheek on her arms, closing her eyes.

Ever since they went from giving vials to pints, the sickness they feel afterwards has only gotten worse. The room spins, their bodies are weak, and going up the stairs nearly makes them want to faint. It’s not fun, and it’s not easy, but still, they sign up for the donations because it’s something they have to do. They’re here to help Becca continue her research while being kept out of reach from the others who want to harm them, though Clarke still doesn’t understand who that is exactly.

She’s not sure how long she’s sitting at the table, and she must doze off for a second because she’s woken by Bellamy shaking her arm slightly. When she opens her eyes there’s a deep crease between his eyebrows and his lips are pressed thin. A look she’s seen a lot over the years.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just a little tired. Why?” Clarke straightens, stretching out her arms and yawning before leaning back onto the table.

“If you don’t feel good then you shouldn’t go and give blood. You seem like you need to keep it for right now.”

“I need to keep my blood? Thanks for the advice,” she teases, and Bellamy rolls his eyes at her.

“Don’t listen to me but when you pass out in the hall don’t expect me to carry you to bed.”

“You can carry me to bed,” Murphy says, lifting his eyebrows as a grin slides across his face, and Bellamy shakes his head.

“I’m getting out of here.” He stands, grabbing his books, and everyone waves him off with Clarke giving him a small smile.

“What time is it?” She asks, looking around the table, and Miller looks out of the window.

“About three o’clock, probably.”

Clarke yawns for a second time, stifling it with her sleeve covered hand as she looks over at him. “I still don’t know how you do that.” Miller shrugs, the corner of his mouth turning up and then Clarke stands, stretching again. “I need to head to medical. Bex said I needed to fill out some stuff.”

“Fill out what?” Jasper asks, leaning onto the table, and Clarke shrugs.

“I don’t know. Guess I’ll find out.” Clarke waves bye to everyone, then starts down the hall, making her way to the other side of the building.

Some of the kids slid around her in their socks and then run past her in their attempt to play tag inside before the adults tell them to stop, and then Clarke stops at a door on her right and knocks. The word _Medical_ is a depthless black against the glass and Clarke admires her handiwork. When Becca asked if she could paint over it, Clarke is sure the woman wasn’t expecting it to be so neat. The door opens and one of the adults, Jackson, stands a few feet away, smiling.

“You’re a little early.”

“Becca said that I would have to fill out some sort of paperwork.”

“Yeah, but it’s not much.” Jackson opens the door more and beckons for Clarke to walk in. “It’s just the facility that we’re sending the blood to wants to know some information about the person who’s donating the blood before they consider using it.”

 _Makes sense_. It’s like the forms she remembers her father having to fill out whenever he would take her to the doctor. Clarke takes a seat on the bed like all of the other times she’s been in here and after a moment Jackson is handing her a clipboard with a few pieces of paper on it and a pen.

 **Age:** _________________________  
 **Sex:** _________________________  
 **Race:** _________________________

 **Virgin:** Y N  
 **Last Menstrual Cycle (if applicable):** _________________________

Clarke’s face scrunches up as she looks at the paper in front of her and then she turns to Jackson who’s getting the pint bag ready.

“Why do they need to know this?”

Jackson glances at her, though she can see the tips of his ears turn red. “Some can affect hormone levels within your body, and since this is all very knew, they don’t want to miss anything.”

There’s a deep line between Clarke’s eyebrows as she goes through the rest of the papers, but those only ask about pre-existing conditions, medications, all of the stuff she knows is normal for a doctor visit but, still. _I’m pretty sure they don’t have to do this for blood drives_. She remembers going with her parents to one when the buses were lined up in front of the store, and she’s pretty sure they didn’t have to fill out this much information. However, Clarke still fills out all of the information that they’re asking for and after looking over it she hands the clipboard back to Jackson.

“Okay, you know the drill. It’s just like giving a sample.”

Clarke nods her head then lays back onto the bed, looking at her arm. He sanitizes it, gives her a stress ball, and then Clarke holds her breath as he pushes the needle into her. It burns, something she’s never experienced before, and then he’s taping it in place as her blood begins to flow through the tube and into he bag. _God. Why did I sign up for this?_ Of course, she knows the answer, but sitting here while even more blood gets taken from her body makes her wish she had the same view of donating as Murphy.

In all, only takes about fifteen minutes for the donation to be finished and then she’s trying to sit up, but the room spins, her stomach lurches, and pain radiates up her arm and through the side of her body. _What’s happening to me?_

“You’re okay.” Jackson’s hands come out to hold her shoulders and the room spinning stops for the most part, though it seems like everything is tilting. “How much have you eaten today?” He pulls out a flashlight and looks into her eyes, and Clarke flinches.

“I ate breakfast and lunch.”

“You might just need something to eat.” He steps back, looking her over. “When was the last time you gave a sample?”

“Uh…” _When was the last time I gave a sample?_ “I don’t know, two weeks ago?”

“Okay, that explains it.” Jackson pulls his tablet out of his white coat pocket and begins tapping away on it. “They should have told you that you couldn’t donate just yet. Super blood or not, even you can’t recover that quickly.”

Clarke just groans as she places the back of her hand on her forehead and wills the room to stop moving. “I need to go talk to Becca so I’ll be gone for a minute but I don’t want you leaving until you can stand up.”

“Mhm.” Clarke leans back onto the bed, staring up at the white ceiling for a moment before turning and watching Jackson. He sets is tablet down and takes the blood bag off it’s hook and writes a few things on it, how they always do, then he looks over at her.

“I’ll be back shortly. Don’t try and move just yet.”

Weakly, Clarke lifts her hand and gives him a thumbs up, and then she looks back up at the ceiling and closes her eyes. _I could really take a nap right now_. But, closing her eyes seems to make the spinning worse and she opens them, trying to keep her gaze fixed on a specific tile on the ceiling. _I wish Bellamy_ was _here to carry me._ The thought of walking up the stairs makes her stomach turn and the room beginning spinning again.

Clarke rolls onto her side, careful not to put too much weight on her arm, and she breaths slowly through her nose and out through her mouth. In and out. _In and out_. She lays there for what feels like forever, wishing that she could at least get the energy to sit up and wondering where Jackson is. She knows that he can’t have been gone long, but right now she doesn’t exactly have a good perception of time.

She closes her eyes for a second time, wondering if they’ll just let her sleep it off, when Jackson’s tablet goes off. Clarke’s eyes fly open, looking over at the lit up screen. _I wonder what time it is?_ From the light out in the hallway, it seems like the sun isn’t as bright as it used to be, whether it’s overcast or the fact that the sun is beginning to set, and she wants to know how long she’s been here. The screen goes black as Clarke lifts herself up and moves her legs off the side of the bed, then she reaches out and pulls the metal tray that the pad is sitting on towards her.

She taps the screen, the bright blue illuminating her face. _3:45PM_. _I’ve been here for nearly an hour?_ It hadn’t felt like it. Then, before she can set the tablet down her eyes find the notification that he got.

Her blood runs cold.

_**Test 102 Failed** _   
_Subject Non-Responsive_

Then, beside the message, is a picture of Atom.

Sadness and fear wrap themselves around Clarke’s chest like a vice, and suddenly she feels like she can’t breathe. The walls are closing in on her as she stares down at the message, and her hands begin to shake. _Test Failed? Subject non-responsive?_ The words swim in front of her vision along with the picture of her friend, and she throws the tablet back onto the metal tray.

She tries to stand, her knees wanting to buckle under her, but she grips the edge of the bed and forces herself to stand. Her entire body shakes and the room seems to tilt side to side like a boat rocking in the waves, but she takes one step, then another.

 _Test Failed_.

 _Subject Non-Responsive_.

 _Test Failed_.

 _Subject Non-Responsive_.

Voices outside of the door cause her to freeze and Clarke stares, wide-eyed at the shadows behind the glass. As quickly as she can, Clarke turns around and makes her way back onto the bed, pushing the metal tray with the tablet away until it’s just out of reach and then she rolls over, biting the inside of her cheek as she puts her weight on her newly-pricked arm.

The door opens and Clarke closes her eyes. She can hear Becca’s heel clicking on the tile floor and Jackson walking towards the tray, and then a hand comes out, pressing against her cheek.

“Clarke? Can you open your eyes for me?” Clarke does as she’s asked, swallowing as she stares up into Becca’s dark eyes. “Hey,” she smiles softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” Clarke’s voice comes out like a croak, her throat too tight to do much else.

“I bet.” Becca’s lips purse together for a moment. “Can you sit up for me?” Once again, Clarke does as she’s asked and Becca holds onto her shoulders. “I’ll help you to your room so you can lay down. I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through this.”

Clarke only nods as the woman helps her to her feet, and she doesn’t look at Jackson as Becca escorts her out of the room and towards the stairs. With every step Clarke can feel her legs wanting to buckle more and more, the words echoing in her mind. _Test Failed. Subject Non-Responsive_.

By the time Becca lays Clarke into her bed, Clarke can barely breathe as she looks up at the woman above her. _Test Failed. Subject Non-Responsive_. Becca smiles at her, telling her that if she’s still not feeling well at dinner then she’ll make sure someone brings it to her, and Clarke only smiles as the woman slips out of her room.

Once the door closes behind her, Clarke counts to twenty and back again before pushing her covers and forces herself to make her way to the door. She can still see the tablet in front of her, the words on the screen, and when her hand wraps around the doorknob, there’s one thought that replaces all others.

 _I need to get to Bellamy_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course, she has to get to Bellamy
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	13. ⋄ Chapter Twelve ⋄

**_May 4, 2143  
The Castle_ **

The world swims around her, tilting her perception of everything. The light seems a little too bright to the point of sending white hot pain through her head and when she tries to set foot on the first step of the stairs that lead to the third floor, her knuckles go white from gripping the bannister. _Bellamy._ His name flashes in her mind, driving out what she saw in medical, and she propels herself up the stairs. The name that’s always come to mind when anything happened to her over the years.

Thankfully, no one passes her as she makes her way to the third floor and her eyes find the spot in the wall where his door is before she can even seen it. Her body feels like it’s vibrating as she reaches up to knock, and almost immediately he’s there in front of her. His black hair wild, his dark sweatshirt making his skin even more tanned. His eyebrows knit together as he looks at her but Clarke doesn’t give him a chance to say anything before she’s pushing past him into the room. The door clicks softly behind her, followed by a lock, and Clarke wrings her hands out in front of her as she turns around to look at him.

Standing there she shakes as if she’s just been thrown back into the icy lake, and her throat feels tight as she tries to drag in a breath. The edges of her vision are beginning to darken, her body feel like it wants to give out on her from the lack of blood, but then Bellamy is there again, looking down at her. Time seems to have jumped because in a blink he went from being by the door to standing in front of her. She tries to focus on his eyes the way she focused on the tile on the ceiling, and he reaches out, squeezing her good arm.

“What’s wrong?” His voice is low and soft, similar to the softness that was in Becca’s, but as she looks up at him she can feel herself beginning to calm down. Well, as much as she can. Her vision begins to clear and even though she’s still shaking, it lessens. “Clarke? Talk to me.”

“They’re killing us,” she whispers, her voice cracking. The words appear in front of her. _Test 102 Failed. Subject Non-Responsive_. “They’re _killing us_ ,” she says again, harder, and hot tears blur her vision.

“What?” Bellamy’s brown eyes go wide, disbelief making a home on his face as he looks down at her.

“Med—medical,” she croaks. “I went for the donation and something ha—happened.” She tries to steady herself, but her body shakes and her teeth clatter and she feels like she’s been dropped off in the mountains. “He said he would be back and left his tablet on the table. It went off and I wanted to know what time it was but it—it was a picture of Atom—” Her voice breaks, the image of Atom dancing across her vision as a sob escapes her lips. “ _Test 102 Failed. Subject Non-Responsive_.” She repeats the words, still shocked.

“Atom? I thought that they—”

“Said he was going home?” She finishes for him, her tears blurring her vision to the point of seeing two Bellamys. “ _He never left_.”

Another sob racks her body and that mixed with the shivering and overall exhaustion causes Clarke’s knees to buckle but Bellamy is there, wrapping his arms around her and guiding her to his bed. He keeps an arm wrapped around her as he runs the other through his hair, and Clarke does her best to calm herself done. She feels like her bones have been filled with cement and her head with cotton, and the exhaustion she feels is like a weighted veil covering her entire body.

Bellamy leans forward, resting his elbow on his knee as he stares at the floor, and Clarke places her hand on his forearm, as much to reassure him as it is to keep the room from spinning. He stares, unblinking, down at the brown wood of the floor. She can tell that he’s trying to process everything, but he’s always been better at controlling his emotions than she ever was. His breathing is soft despite him clenching and unclenching his jaw, and she watches as he hangs his head, his dark hair covering his face.

“Everyone who’s left,” he begins roughly, “all of the older kids that were here when I got here, when you got here, they’re gone. Aren’t they?” He doesn’t look up at her, but the sound of him sucking in a breath is enough to tell her that he’s trying to hold himself back. “They’re not happy at home with their families. They’re not being integrated back into society, they’re—”

“Dead.”

The word hangs like a wave just before it breaks, and when Bellamy finally looks up at her, she can _feel_ her pain reflected back at her. _We were so happy._ Just last night they danced around the fire and talked about the future. Clarke offered for him and Octavia to come live with her and her parents. She _wants_ them to come live with her. She wants to know that she and her friends will see each other when they’re back with their families, despite the distance that may be between them. She wants to know that they’ll be safe after hiding their entire lives, but they won’t be. They _can’t_. Not here.

Not in the place that was supposed to keep them safe.

She thinks back on all of the times she’s had to give blood. All of the pricks and needles and the pain she felt just an hour before. Her arm throbs and she grits her teeth as she tries to ignore it. _How much of it was them trying to hurt us? Why did we always feel so bad after giving the samples? Why did we have to give the samples?_ She can’t imagine that Becca was lying about the research she was doing, but before an hour ago she wouldn’t have imagined that they were killing them, either.

Bellamy’s arm moves under Clarke’s hand until his fingers are lacing with hers, and she squeezes. _How could they do this to us?_ Years of them taking children from their families because they were told that their children would never be accepted by the others in society, that others were scared of them, all for them to turn around and use those kids they swore to protect. _What are they using us for?_

All of the thoughts and questions cause Clarke’s head to pound and her vision goes white, and she groans as she buries her face into Bellamy’s shoulder. Despite her best efforts to fight the exhaustion that’s been trying to pull her away, it’s starting to win but she doesn’t want to go to sleep. Anytime she closes her eyes, Atom’s picture stares back at her.

“Clarke?” Bellamy’s voice seems so far away, but she forces herself to move back and look at him. His eyes look wild now. The look of unbridled fear. “What happened when you were in medical?”

“They had a miscommunication.” All of the strength in her seems to disappear as she sits there, her head feeling heavy. “They took too much blood too soon. I’m supposed to be in my room asleep,” she sighs, and then the bed squeaks and dips and Clarke is suddenly laying against soft pillows with a blanket being pulled up over her. She opens her eyes, blinking through the blurriness to see Bellamy standing over her.

“Are you okay?” The deep crease between his brows seems deeper now, and his lips are pressed into a thin line.

Clarke reaches out, her arm feeling like it’s tied to rocks, and she runs her finger over the line between his eyebrows. “I’m just really tired.”

“You can get some sleep.” He stands and Clarke’s hand falls away, but she catches his that’s by his side.

“You’re not leaving me, are you?” The two of them look at each other for a moment, but with one soft tug he’s sitting in the bed beside her. “I don’t want to be alone,” she whispers, and Bellamy settles further into the bed.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs.

After a moment, Clarke nods her head and curls into a ball with her head pressed against his upper arm. They’ve slept next to each other before, usually when they were going camping and they decided they wanted to sleep out under the stars, or when they were all having a movie night in the T.V. room and Clarke would fall asleep before anyone else. Those were all accidental, though she never minded waking up next to him, but now she doesn’t want to be alone. Because if she’s alone, then they can come from her. But they can’t if Bellamy is with her. She knows it’s unreasonable and that it wouldn’t happen for at least another year, but having him there makes her feel better.

Finally, Clarke closes her eyes and the exhaustion finally pulls her into the darkness.

~

When she wakes, there’s a soft yellow light filling the room and Bellamy is laying beside her, though when she looks he seems to have fallen asleep, too. She doesn’t know what time it is, but she knows that she’s going to have to get back to her bedroom before Becca brings her dinner. If she isn’t there and she’s not in the dining room, then there’s no telling what the other woman will think.

She shifts in the bed and Bellamy sucks in a breath as his eyes fly open, and Clarke places her hand on his arm. He jerks under her touch but when he looks at her he relaxes, his body sinking back into the mattress. There are lines under his eyes now and the brown of his iris is trimmed in red. He blinks at her a couple of times before he yawns and then Clarke finds herself yawning, too, before pushing herself to a sitting position.

“Did we miss dinner?”

“No.” Bellamy looks over at the clock that’s sitting on his nightstand and Clarke looks, too. “We have thirty minutes.”

“Are you going to go eat?” She asks, her voice low, and Bellamy looks back at her. _There’s no way he can hide the fact that he’s been crying_. _What if someone asks him what’s wrong?_

“I’m not hungry,” he mutters.

“But what—”

“I’ll say I’m studying.”

“You quit going to school a year ago.” Clarke raises an eyebrow at him, but he only shrugs.

“Then, I’ll just say I lost track of time.”

Clarke sighs deeply, the place where she was hooked up to the blood bag pulsing with a dull ache. Silence stretches out between them, though Clarke wishes she knew what to say. Bellamy has always been the one that knows what to say when others are down and when they were sick. He’s the one that’s picked their friends up when they said that they hated having to be hidden away and wanted their families. He’s the one they’ve always looked to when they needed an anchor to pull them back to Earth, but Clarke can see how tired he is.

She reaches out, threading her fingers with his and he squeezes before looking at her. “You need rest,” she whispers.

“No, _you_ need rest. I need to get to our friends.” His voice is rough and hard, and Clarke runs her finger over the back of his thumb.

“Our friends can wait a couple of hours. Yeah? If you’re not at dinner then the boys will come to you just how Harper and Octavia will come to me and then we can meet in my room once everyone else goes to sleep.”

Bellamy squeezes her hand again before he sits up, too, and he runs a hand through his already wild curls. “Can you handle facing Becca again?”

“I did it once, right?” She tries to make her voice light, but that only results in her cringing at it.

“Not convinced.”

“I’ll be fine.” To prove her point, Clarke moves to stand, and though her legs wobble slightly, she stands straight and looks down at him. “See? I’m good.”

Bellamy looks at her like he’s trying to find anything to keep her from going back to her room, and then he stands, too. “I don’t like the idea of you being with her alone.”

“She won’t touch me until I’m older. Especially not when my parents are waiting for me to call them every month.” Clarke wraps her arms around herself. “She’ll bring me food and I can pretend to be asleep. It worked when I was in medical.”

Despite the war that she can see going on behind his eyes as he searches his face, Bellamy nods once and Clarke takes a deep breath. They’re still not entirely sure what is going on, but they know that they can’t do anything when neither of them have eaten and they’re exhausted. Not to mention they still have to tell their friends.

Clarke walks towards the door, hearing Bellamy’s footsteps behind her, and after she unlocks the doorknob she turns around to look at him. His face is dark, unreadable, and before Clarke can stop herself she walks towards him and wraps her arms around his neck and buries her face in his shoulder. He smells how he always does, like of laundry detergent and pine and the outdoors. Something she’s come to love over the years.

He holds her tight, his hand coming up and tangling in her hair. She can feel tears begin to seep into her shirt, hot and wet like the ones getting caught in her eyelashes, and when they pull apart they stand there, looking at each other. _I could have lost him_. The thought sends a spear of pain through her chest. _If it wasn’t for Octavia…_

“I’ll see you in a few hours, okay?”

Steeling herself, Clarke rolls back her shoulders and looks up at him, trying to burn his face into her mind to replace the message. “Okay.”

She reaches behind her and opens the door, never looking away until she finally turns and walks out into the hall.

~

As she told Bellamy, she pretends to be asleep when her dinner is brought to her and it’s only the clicking of Becca’s heels on the hardwood floor that tells Clarke who it is. She doesn’t move a muscle, or breathe enough to move the hair that’s slid in front of her face while she’s in her room, and when the door closes behind her Clarke drags in a deep breath.

The food remains untouched even by the time Harper and Octavia make their way to her door, knocking softly. It takes everything in her to get out of bed and open the door, but the sight of her friends standing before her gives her the strength she needs. It must be the look on Clarke’s face, or the fact that she’s sure she still looks pale, but Harper and Octavia hurry into her room, with Octavia locking the door behind her.

“What’s wrong?” Harper’s usually hazel eyes were dark as she looked Clarke over. “You don’t look good.”

“Yeah, you look…sick.” Octavia’s eyebrows knitted together as she looked her over, too. “Did something happen with the donation?”

 _God, where do I start?_ She knows she should wait for Bellamy and the others to show up, but she’s not sure how long she can put off telling the two girls in front of her. Octavia’s eyes move from Clarke to her uneaten food that’s grown cold, and back again.

“What happened?”

Clarke takes a deep breath, her body wanting to shake again, but she digs her nails into the palm of her hand as she walks back to her bed and sits down. Harper and Octavia follow her, the two of them climbing onto her bed like her first night at the castle when she cried for her parents. She looks away from them and at her hands that are knotted in her lap, biting at her bottom lip. _How can I tell them?_

“Clarke,” Harper says softly, “what happened?”

She doesn’t want to look up at her friends, but she knows this isn’t something she can just mumble and have that be it. She knows what she saw, even in her disoriented state, and she needs to tell them. She has to. Just how she’ll have to tell Miller and Monty and Jasper and Murphy. This isn’t something any of them can run away from.

“When I went to do the donation, it burned…”

So, Clarke tells them everything, not leaving out a detail even though she didn’t tell Bellamy about the needle burning her. She’s still not entirely sure what that was about. Neither of the other girls say anything and they lay down with her, all of them waiting for Bellamy to knock on her door with the rest of the guys.

Time passes quickly but Clarke doesn’t know if that’s because she dozed off at one point, still weak from earlier, or if she was too far gone in her thoughts to realize how much time had gone by. The knock on the door is soft and Harper is the one who gets up and unlocks the door, letting in the rest of their friends. Clarke and Octavia sit up in the bed, the two of them holding each other’s hands and when Harper comes back, she holds Octavia’s free hand.

“Did you tell them?” Bellamy asks once the door is shut, and Clarke nods her head, looking down at her blankets.

“Tell them what?” Murphy looks from Bellamy to Clarke and then leans against the desk that’s pressed up against her window.

“What’s going on?” Jasper asks, his brown eyes bright as he looks at all of them, but Monty knocks his shoulder against his friend’s, and Jasper’s face falls. “What?”

Thankfully, Bellamy takes to telling the rest of their friends while Clarke watches everyone. Murphy’s face is unreadable as he stares at a spot on the ground, Monty sinks to the ground with Jasper who has silent tears rolling down his cheeks, and Miller stands with his arms crossed over his chest, unwavering When Bellamy finishes talking, he places his hand on Murphy’s shoulder, and his friend looks up, his blue eyes nearly black.

Everyone stays silent for a long time. As the night goes on, the eight of them sit there, coming to terms with the fact that the place they’ve spent their lives isn’t what they thought it was. That they were being raised like animals for the kill. Clarke, Octavia, and Harper hold onto each other while the Miller joins Monty and Jasper on the floor, and Bellamy leans against the desk closer to Clarke and next to Murphy.

“So,” Monty’s voice carries throughout the room, and everyone looks towards him. When he looks up, his eyes are red, even in the low light, and Clarke sees a hardness in them she’s never seen before. “What are we going to do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx
> 
> I'm currently working on chapter 13 so when I'm done I'll post it :)


	14. ⋄ Chapter Thirteen ⋄

**_May 21, 2143_ **   
**_The Castle_ **

In the days following the conversation in Clarke’s room, the weather changed with the group’s mood. A few of them could pass it off as their exhaustion from finals and the fact that they haven’t been getting enough sleep because of it, but in reality the reason for their sleepless nights was the secret that they knew. Clarke would toss and turn, wishing she could go to sleep but when she did it was filled with the memories of everyone she knew. All of the older kids when she first got here and of Atom and that day on the lake when he told her that she shouldn’t be scared. She was never asleep for long.

Walking into the T.V. room, it was obvious that no one else was getting much sleep, either. Monty’s eyes had dark circles around them, Jasper’s face had lost any color it used to have, Miller quit talking as much, Murphy went back to his brooding self, and Harper and Octavia quit joking around, too. Then, there was Bellamy. He could still talk to the adults and he helped the other kids with their homework, but the look on his face when he thought no one was watching reminded Clarke of the first time Octavia got sick once she arrived.

His smile never quite reached his eyes and the way he held himself made it seem like a huge weight had been placed on his shoulders. _But it has. Hasn’t it?_ Clarke crosses the room towards her group of friends and sinks down into one of the beanbag chairs next to Bellamy. He has a notebook propped up in his lap and when Clarke looks over she sees him making a list of names. A pain spears in her chest as she looks over them, noticing Elaina’s name, and Atom’s, and all of the other names of people they both knew. There are even some she doesn’t recognize, and she begins to wonder if he’s listing everyone before she came.

“Bellamy,” she whispers, but he doesn’t look up at her as he keeps writing. “ _Bellamy_.” She reaches out and places her hand on his arm, stilling his movements. When he looks at her, she can see the wildness behind his eyes, and the anger, but also the fear. The same way she feels.

The others in their group are looking at the two of them, and Clarke turns to look at her friends. They’re all grouped closer than they usually would, and it’s the sight of tears forming in Maria’s eyes as she looks at her brother that makes Clarke want to wrap her in a hug. _I wonder if she’s thinking about how it could have been him_. _Would they have taken him? If he had left then Octavia would have wanted to call him. How would they have been able to explain why her brother never answered?_

“What are we going to do?” Jasper asks, his voice low, and a few of the others sit up straighter.

“What can we do?” Miller asks, wrapping his arms around his legs. “It’s not like we can just walk out the front door.”

“Can’t we, though?” Murphy looks up. “What’s keeping us here?”

“We don’t have any way to get to a town,” Monty says, still looking at the floor. “I don’t even know where the closest town is.”

“We have computers. What’s keeping us from looking it up?”

“The fact that they monitor our internet searches,” Miller snorts.

“Just say it’s for a class. You’re in geography, right?”

“Because you know our teachers wouldn’t tell us to look up the closest city to our secret hideout.”

Murphy rolls his eyes and sighs heavily before laying back on the floor, and Bellamy shifts beside Clarke. She can tell that he wants to say something but she knows him well enough at this point to know that he’s not going to. At least, not yet.

“We need a plan,” Clarke says finally, and her friends all look at her. The message comes back, burned into her mind, and she tries to push it away. “We need to figure out what exactly is going on.”

“They’re killing us, what more do we have to figure out?” Murphy snaps, and Clarke takes a deep, steadying breath.

“I know what I saw, Murphy. But what if there’s a reason behind it? Or what if there’s—”

“A reason?” Octavia echoes. “A _reason_ for killing Atom?” Fresh tears shine in her eyes. “There’s _no reason_ for that.”

“She means _why_ they’re doing it.” Bellamy’s voice almost causes Clarke to jump. “There is a reason, but she’s not saying it’s an acceptable one.”

“Then, what do we do?” Monty blinks his eyes a couple of times, but Clarke can see that they’re turning red.

“We try and find out more.” Harper’s voice is firm and clear, and she looks around at the rest of them.

“How?”

“I’m talking with my dad in a couple of days and I can try and look at Becca’s computer or something.”

“Do you know what you’re looking for?” Murphy’s eyebrows arch.

“I can figure it out.”

“The next person to donate or give a sample can try and look at Jackson’s tablet,” Clarke chimes. “You can ask to see it, or he may check your history to make sure that no one else is donating too early, and then someone else can knock on the door to distract him.”

“That seems dangerous,” Miller says after a moment, but when he looks into Clarke’s eyes she can see some of the usual rebelliousness in them. “I’ll do it.”

“We’re not doing anything dangerous.” Bellamy’s teeth are clenched together as he speaks, though he doesn’t look at anyone. “We can’t risk it.”

“Better to risk our lives trying to get out of here then wait to be killed.” Murphy stands, his knees popping as he straightens. Then, he looks at Clarke. “How long do we have to wait between giving blood?”

“Jackson said four weeks.”

Murphy’s face doesn’t change when he says, “I’ll sign up for Friday.” And with that, he walks towards the door of the room, disappearing down the hall.

The seven of them sit there, wondering if that plan is even going to work, and Clarke takes another deep breath before letting it out slowly. There’s no telling what else they’re going to have to do to learn more about what’s going on, but it’s a start. Though Clarke would be lying if she said she didn’t want her friends to go through what she did.

She and Bellamy look at each other and, not for the first time, Clarke sees her thoughts reflected back at her. Even with how close she became to Harper and Octavia, there’s something about Bellamy that just felt natural. The way they could look at each other and know the look in each other’s eyes. The way they moved together when working on something and the comfort she felt from just being near him.

No one says anything for the rest of their time there, though Clarke’s mind reels with possible ideas for them to try to the point where she reaches over and grabs Bellamy’s notebook out of his lap and flips to a new page.

~

Friday comes before Harper talks to her dad so Clarke paces around Murphy’s room as she runs through what the plan is. Murphy seems like he couldn’t care less, leaning back on his bed with his eyes drooping like he’s about to fall asleep. The sight sends a surge of annoyance through her and Clarke stops, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Are you even listening?”

“Yeah.” He sighs. “Go in, make sure he pulls out his tablet, Jasper will knock on the door to get his attention and then I’ll steal his tablet.” Murphy grins, and Clarke rolls her eyes, huffing, but then he’s standing, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Calm down, Griffin. You’re acting like this is all or nothing.”

“It is. Isn’t it?”

Murphy shrugs. “Nope.”

Clarke has no other option to follow him out of the bedroom where Jasper appears out of the door of his bedroom, and then the three of them are walking down the stairs. Clarke decided that she would just _happen_ to meet back up with them when Murphy is walking back to his room, but she hopes that he doesn’t need any help. With her, it was an accident. At least, that’s what she hopes it was.

When the three of them reach the second floor they all look at each other for one last time before the guys start down the stairs, and then Clarke makes her way to he room. _They’ll be okay,_ she tells herself. _It’ll work_.

 _Will it?_ The little voice in her head asks, but Clarke pushes it away. It would help if it works but if it doesn’t then they can always come up with something else. Almost immediately after she closes her door, Octavia and Harper come in, both wide-eyed and grim as they pile onto her bed. Octavia pulls out a bag of M&Ms and they all sit there while they eat them. Murphy and Jasper only have about twenty minutes in total to get through everything, so it’s not like they have long to wait. But, still. Twenty minutes when something could go _very_ wrong feels like an eternity.

“Do you think they’ll get through it?” Harper asks, and Octavia laughs dryly.

“It’s Murphy. Of course, he’ll get through it.”

“A needle isn’t what’s going to take him out,” Clarke mumbles around a mouth full of little chocolates.

“I know, but what if they catch him?”

“Like they catch him stealing all of the stuff from the kitchen?” Clarke asks, raising an eyebrow at her friend, but she doesn’t feel as light as her voice.

Everyone settles back into silence as they wait and the level of nervousness and anxiety rises in the room. Clarke counts the seconds in her head and tries to hear if there’s any commotion on the floor below them but there’s nothing more than the sound of kids running around. _Come on. Come on. Come on._ Octavia pulls her knees into her chest, resting her chin on them, and Harper lays down with her arms covering her eyes.

_What if something happened?_

_What if Jackson caught Murphy? Or figured out what was happening?_

_What if Becca saw something?_

_What if—_

A quick knock comes at her door and Clarke moves to open it as the two other girls on her bed decide to act like they’re talking, and when Clarke opens her door, Murphy and Jasper stand on the other side of it. Murphy’s face is white and a little green and Jasper looks as worried as Clarke feels as she moves out of the way and motions for them to come into the room. She pokes her head out of the door, sighing in relief when she doesn’t see anyone else, and she shuts it firmly before turning around to see Murphy being laid on her bed.

 _He looks coherent_. Which is all she can really ask for right now, but Murphy’s eyes close and his hard breathing evens out a little, and Jasper looks from him to Clarke. “I didn’t want to try getting him the second flight.”

“No, that’s good.” Clarke bends over Murphy, placing her hand against his forehead. _At least he doesn’t feel hot_. “He probably wouldn’t have been able to make it.”

“Jackson said it was normal, though. That everyone was feeling this way.”

“I haven’t seen anyone else walking around like this,” Clarke mutters, and Murphy’s eyes open, staring up at her.

“This really fucking sucks,” he grits, and before he can say anything else he’s out cold.

Cold washes over Clarke like a bucket being poured over her head, and she turns towards Octavia. The younger girl looks like she’s trying not to shake, but when her gaze moves to Clarke she sets her jaw and pulls her chin up.

“Go get Bellamy and the others.”

With a half nod, Octavia turns on her heel and makes her way towards the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins...
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	15. ⋄ Chapter Fourteen ⋄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I've changed up some of the dates starting at chapter 10 (technically chapter 11 when you're searching for it) which has also changed the seasons for some of the chapters. I'm sorry! But I realized that the original plan I was doing wasn't going to work. I didn't change anything else in the actual story, though! Just the dates :)

**_May 25, 2143  
The Castle_ **

Once Murphy was able to talk to them, after having slept for a couple of hours, he said that a few of the apps had passwords on them but that there was nothing he could find that pointed towards the fact that they were killing the kids. Clarke wasn’t exactly surprised but she did expect there to be _something_. After all, she was just sitting there when Jackson got the notification and she’s still not entirely sure why the message came at 3:00pm when Becca seemed to just be down the hall in her office.

When it comes time for Harper to talk to her parents, Monty seems intent on going into the room with her. It unsettles Bellamy at first, Clarke can see it in the way his back is straight and his shoulders are tense, but when they explain that it’s because Monty would be better at finding everything in such as short amount of time and that it would actually give Harper time to talk to her dad, he nods. Clarke doesn’t like the idea, either, since if Becca goes to check on them then she could see Monty at her computer, but they don’t exactly have another choice. It’s not like Becca has folders lying around the castle labeled “classified” and “do not read.”

“I’ll be in and out in fifteen minutes. Tops.” Monty nods his head, looking sure of himself. If anyone else were to look at him, they wouldn’t see how thin his lips are pressed together or the fact that he can’t seem to quite sit still, but Clarke notices and so does Jasper, because his friend reaches out and clasps him on the shoulder.

“Please look up the closest McDonald’s. I miss it,” Jasper says, his eyes softening, and that’s enough to break the tension that’s hanging over everyone. They all know that Monty won’t be able to do that without raising some flags, but it helps lighten the mood nonetheless.

Harper wrings her hands out in front of her, looking out the window that hovers over the backyard. “At least I get to talk to my dad,” she whispers. “I just wish I wasn’t so scared.”

“Hey,” Clarke reaches out, running her hand up and down her friend’s arm. “It’ll be okay. Monty’s fast and we’ll all be on lookout.”

Harper nods her head softly before looking down at the floor, and Clarke can hear her sniffle before she looks back up and over at Monty. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Monty takes a deep breath, putting his hands in his pockets, and then Harper turns and starts towards Becca’s office, leaving everyone looking after her.

They have to wait for Becca to actually leave her office so someone can get her attention, allowing Monty to slip into her office, but they know they won’t be able to keep her occupied forever. Not that anyone actually wants to try and talk to her for that long, anyway. The others disperse and it’s when Becca’s heels are clicking on the floor that Bellamy makes his way towards her.

Clarke watches as her friend goes, nervousness twisting in her stomach. Becca smiles brightly at him and Clarke watches as his face lights up, and then they’re walking in the opposite down the hall with the dining room and the T.V. room. _I hope you know what you’re doing_. No one had enough time to decide who was going to go talk to her and Clarke has no idea what he’s going to say to her, but if there’s one thing about Becca, it’s that she’ll always sit and listen whenever someone needs to talk to her.

Once they’re out of view Monty takes a deep breath then makes his way towards Becca’s office, following Harper’s earlier path, and then Clarke is standing there with Jasper. They didn’t want to have all of their friends hanging around in case Becca saw them, and now Clarke and Jasper look at each other. _Now all we have to do is wait_.

Waiting, again, is not easy. The two of them stay by the window with Clarke having decided to take a seat on the windowsill as she looks out onto the backyard. The trees are bare and lifeless, looking gray more than anything, and there’s already ice in the air and wind cuts her face when she walks outside. Once upon a time she couldn’t wait for winter and what came with it, but her birthday is coming up and so is her anniversary of arriving here. Bringing her a year closer to her death.

 _They can’t kill me if my parents are waiting for me, can they?_ She thinks to herself, her gaze drifting to where Jasper is sitting beside her on the floor. _Did Atom have a family?_

“Should I go check?” Jasper asks, breaking Clarke out of her reverie, and she blinks at him.

“Yeah, probably.”

Jasper only nods his head as he gets up and makes his way towards Becca’s office and Clarke leans her head back against the windowsill. _How could they get away with this?_ She thinks about Elaina again, wondering if she had a family that was waiting for her. _They couldn’t kill them if they had families…but does that mean they only killed the ones who didn’t?_ She thinks about Bellamy and Octavia and how they didn’t have anyone waiting for them to come back. Unlike her.

Clarke runs her hands over her knees, thinking about how she’ll be able to talk to her parents in a couple of weeks and what she’ll tell them. She doesn’t want to tell them everything that’s going on because she knows they’ll start worrying, as they should, but if they decide to take matters into their own hands… _They can’t_. She doesn’t know the lengths Becca will go to in order to make sure that what she’s doing stays a secret. She came here so she could protect her parents and that’s what she’s going to continue to do.

Jasper comes back to sit by the windowsill and still doesn’t say anything so Clarke figures that he didn’t see Becca or Bellamy, but it doesn’t take long for Monty to return with his hands still shoved into his pockets. The three of them don’t say anything as they begin to walk towards the stairs, but when Clarke looks to her right she can see Bellamy and Becca turn around a corner, both still deep in conversation. There’s a deep line between his eyebrows again and he’s nodding his head, though Clarke can’t hear what they’re talking about.

She doesn’t linger, though, and follows her two other friends up to Monty’s room where Miller, Murphy, and Octavia are all waiting for them. Murphy still isn’t feeling completely fine so he hasn’t left the third floor for the most part since the day he gave blood, but when they walk into the bedroom he seems fine as he lays on the bed.

“Did you get it?” Miller asks, and Monty nods his head as he lifts up the back of his shirt and pulls out a stack of papers from the waistband at his back.

“I tried to get everything I could.”

It’s a lot more papers than Clarke expected it to be and the fact that he was able to get that much was honestly astonishing. Monty walks towards his desk and sits down and everyone crowds around him, but it’s clear that he’s not going to start looking through them until Harper and Bellamy join them. _Great. More waiting_.

She scans the top page, which is only labeled _Nightblood_ , and then the door to the room opens and everyone jumps as Bellamy and Harper walk in. Everyone is wound tight, but that’s understandable. Bellamy’s face is unreadable as he walks towards them, sidling up next to Octavia, and then Harper locks the door before moving to look over Monty’s shoulder.

“How’d you do?” Bellamy asks, crossing his arms over his chest, and Monty takes a deep breath.

“I think I did pretty damn good.”

Monty looks down at the page in front of him and then begins to read.

~

_**Nightblood (∆)** _  
_A mutation of the proteins within the blood_

__

_**Overview:** _

  * _Alternates between -Rh and +Rh_
    1. _Cycles every 6 hours with no preference for either_
  * _Can be given to those without **∆** blood_
    1. _Adapts to the host’s blood_
    2. _Host experiences increased characteristics associated with naturally **∆** blooded people_
  * _Ongoing – **∆** blooded people cannot receive normal blood_



__

_**Characteristics:** increased strength, healing time, cognitive function, stamina_

_94% of children typed at birth do not develop the characteristics outside of the characteristics present at birth._

_5% of children typed at birth experience a strengthening in characteristics as they age._

_1% of children are inconclusive. The characteristics will strengthen but stop by age three and do not meet the benchmarks._

_**Increased Strength:** _

_Children who are typed with **∆** blood will experience an increase of strength as they age. When unaware the strength will manifest as peculiar accidents until the child begins to apply their knowledge of increased strength._

_**Healing Time:** _

_Children who are typed with **∆** blood will experience faster healing time. Blood tests have shown that teenagers who have experienced puberty will heal faster than grown adults of the normal blood types._

_**Cognitive Function:** _

_Ongoing – children who are type with **∆** blood may experience higher cognitive function. Tests ongoing._

_**Stamina:** _

_Children who are typed with **∆** blood will experience faster run times and reduced fatigue. Speed varies from age to age but consistently higher than children with normal blood._

Clarke’s eyebrows furrow together as she looks down at the page. Despite all of their time here, they were never told what exactly their blood was like. They were told that they weren’t like other kids and that they would win races more and be able to do more than the normal kids, but they were never told _how_. Of course, they knew that it had something to do with _Nightblood_ but the adults never explained. Becca just trusted that they would take her words for what they were.

They flip through the pages, learning more than they’ve known, and the fact that she never thought to ask Becca _what_ about their blood was unique crosses Clarke’s mind. Her parents did not seem interested in knowing that, either, but the more pages Monty flips through the more she begins to understand why. There are news articles, converted to PDFs that he printed out that talk about certain people who apparently had _Nightblood_ or **∆** blood and didn’t know how to handle it. Though, those were very extreme cases.

Within Becca’s notes, she talks about how she has yet to see a child with “extreme” _Nightblood_ and that, usually, they presented as normal. But Clarke has learned enough throughout her time in history class that once people are afraid of something, it’s hard to convince them not to be. _So, does that mean that there really is a donation agreement?_

They go through all of the pages, one by one, reading everything that’s been laid in front of them, but in the end there isn’t anything on the tests that they’ve been running. There’s no list of names or pictures of people they may have known. Still, it is more than what they knew before, and they have a better understanding why they’ve been sent away. Fear. _It’s always because of fear, isn’t it?_

“Well. That doesn’t help us,” Murphy mutters, and Clarke raises an eyebrow at him.

“It’s a lot more than what we had before he went in there,” she says through clenched teeth. Then she looks towards Monty and places a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

He nods, turning back to the paper. “I could probably get more if I can go back in again, but—”

“No.” Bellamy’s voice is low. “No one is going back in there. It’s too risky.”

No one says anything, though there are a few head nods that make their way around the group, and then they all sit around the room. They’ve done this a lot since that first night, just sitting together rather than talking. Unlike the outside, a blanket covers them. Though unlike the snow that Clarke loves, it’s the heavy blanket of fear, anger, and guilt.

Eventually, everyone begins to go back to their rooms with silent hugs as they leave Monty’s room, but Clarke finds herself walking with Bellamy towards his room. He opens the door, not bothering to look back to see if she’s coming in with him and she closes it softly behind him. Bellamy’s room bursts into bright yellow light as he turns on the light and then he turns to look at her, his brown eyes nearly black.

“Bellamy—”

“I don’t want to hear it, Clarke,” he murmurs, shaking his head. He looks down at the ground, looping his thumbs through his belt loops. “I know what you’re going to say—”

“That we need more information?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Then, why—”

“You know why.” He looks at her then, his eyes burning into hers. “We can’t. It’s too risky.”

She crosses her arms over her chest. “We don’t know everything. We need more.”

“And _more_ is worth sacrificing our friends lives?” His voice thunders in the room, despite it still being low.

Clarke grits her teeth. “That’s not what I mean.”

“Believe me, I get that, but you can’t honestly rationalize sending our friends in there again. Whether it’s you in there while you talk to your parents or Jasper or Murphy or Miller or Monty, we _can’t risk it_.”

“I know.” A lump forms in Clarke’s throat as they look at each other, and even more thoughts that she’s tried to push away come back into her mind, and she can feel a lump form in her throat.

“Then, what?” His eyes are pleading, looking through her and into her soul as he walks towards her. She has to lift her head to look up at him, but she’s always had to do that. He’s only grown taller than her, their height difference staying the same over the years, and the freckles she remembers seeing for the first time stare back at her.

Clarke opens her mouth then closes it again. How does she tell him that she’s thought about how she could have lost him? That she could have watched him walk out of the front doors only to never hear from him again? She’s seen the way he and Octavia look at each other and the silent understanding that’s passed between them. They understand the weight of their situation. Of what could have happened. _He understands._ _I don’t need to burden him with my thoughts, too_.

Then finally, “We need more,” she whispers.

He looks down at her, and she could swear that something crosses over her face that she’s never seen before. “I know, but we have to figure something else out.”

Clarke looks away from him, nodding her head. “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.” His voice is heavy in her ears, and when she looks back at him, his eyes are nearly black.

“Goodnight, Bellamy,” she whispers, and he nods his head a little, though he looks away from her for a moment before looking back.

“Goodnight, Clarke.”

They look at each other, and it takes everything in her to turn towards the door, not wrapping him in a hug like the other night. He opens the door for her and she walks out as she turns around to look at him for a moment, and then she makes her way down the hall and back towards the stairs. His gaze seared into her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four more chapters to go! I'm almost done with chapter 15 :)
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	16. ⋄ Chapter Fifteen ⋄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: time jump!

**_October 20, 2143  
The Castle_ **

Clarke twirls the phone cord around her fingers as it rings, her heart beating loudly in her ears. Bellamy was adamant about no one else risking coming into Becca’s office while someone else was on the phone with her parents, and no one has, but with her computer right there, Clarke doesn’t know if she can help herself. For months, she come in here and stared at the computer, but she can’t bring herself to try and log onto it when—

“Hello?” Her dad’s voice sounds over the speaker and Clarke smiles.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, honey.” His voice is warm and Clarke imagines him smiling as he says it, and then he calls for her mom. Her nerves are rising as she stands there with the phone pressed to her ear, but at the sound of both of her parents’ voices, she tries to push it away.

“Clarke,” her mom says, and there’s the sound of a button being pressed, “how is everything?”

 _God._ “It’s good,” she says after a moment. It’s always _good_. Every time she’s talked to them. For months.

“Oh, you know you have to tell us more than that.” Her dad huffs and the corner of Clarke’s mouth turns up.

“Same thing, honestly. School is going good,” she shrugs, not caring that her parents can’t see her but hoping that they understand.

“Well, what classes are you taking?”

So, Clarke spends some time talking to her parents about her classes and the movie night they just had. She tells them about the camping trip that the adults are trying to plan and how the temperature is beginning to drop with the promise of snow in the next week or two. She tries to keep the conversation away from when she’ll be going back home and away from the fact that there are kids dying, just how she has all of the other times, but as she looks at the clock on Becca’s computer, the minutes disappearing, she can’t help but need to know if there’s _something_ actually coming out of this.

“Mom,” Clarke says abruptly, cutting her mom off mid-explanation about one of her coworkers.

“Yeah?”

“Have you—“ A knock comes at the door and Becca pops her head in, holding up two fingers to tell her the time, and Clarke nods once. She waits until the door is closed and then she counts to twenty until her mom’s voice comes back over the line.

“Sweetheart, what is it?”

“Oh, um…” Clarke bites at her bottom lip. “I, uh, I was just wondering something.”

“What?”

“Have you heard about them using _nightbood_ to help treat normal people?” She whispers, hoping her voice isn’t echoing in the office, and a stunned silence comes across the receiver.

Fear surges through her as she pulls the phone away, staring at it. _Do they monitor our calls?_ Fear turns to terror as she wonders if Becca is going to hear this, but she didn’t actually say anything that would suggest that she knows more than she’s supposed to.

“That’s wonderful!” Her mother chimes, and Clarke puts the phone back to her ear.

“You think so?”

“Of course, I do. I haven’t heard anything about it but if they’re already starting a program then that’s one step towards helping the rest of the people understand that there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“Why are they afraid of us?” Clarke asks, the words slipping out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“Well,” her dad sighs, “they fear you.”

“But _why_? We haven’t done anything.”

“It’s complicated, honey,” her mom says softly. “Fear makes people do horrible things, and when people are scared they get angry. A few people who had _nightblood_ caused a lot of damage. I don’t know the details, I’m sure Becca could answer your questions better than I could, but you don’t have to worry. It sounds like things will begin to change and, if we’re lucky, you’ll be home sooner than originally planned but things like this do take a while.”

Clarke doesn’t say anything and she watches the time on the computer change, ending her thirty minutes, and she takes a deep breath. “Thanks. I have to go, but I’ll call you guys in a few weeks.”

“Okay, baby,” her mom says. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Clarke.”

“I love both of you, too. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Clarke hangs up the phone and makes her way to the door where she can see Becca’s silhouette against the opaque glass, and she opens it. The woman turns around, her ponytail swishing behind her as she smiles.

“How are your parents? Good?” She asks, and Clarke’s nails dig into her palm.

“Yeah,” Clarke nods her head. “They’re good.”

“I’m glad.” Becca continues to smile at her as Clarke gives her a small wave and a quiet “thanks” and then she starts towards the stairs.

Once she’s in her room she throws herself onto the bed, wondering what else they can do to figure out more about what’s going on, but she doesn’t have any more ideas. They have already burned the papers that were printed out from Becca’s computer, and everyone has been tapped for the time being and they still have a few weeks until the next person can go, so they’re stuck.

Clarke thinks about going to Bellamy’s room and seeing if he has any ideas that they could talk about, but there’s also been something _off_ about him ever since he talked to Becca. She still doesn’t know what the two of them talked about, and neither does Octavia, but there was something about it that threw him off. She just wishes she knew what it was. _Could I ask him? Would he even tell me?_ At this point, she doesn’t think there’s anything they haven’t told one another, but this…this feels different.

Too caught up in wanting to know, Clarke rolls off her bed and grabs another sweater before heading back out of her door. Since there’s been a cold front, the house feels a little colder than it usually does and when Clarke looks out of the big window by the stairs, she wonders if they’re going to get snow sooner rather than later.

She turns and starts up the stairs to the third floor, hearing various noises from behind the closed doors, but when she gets to Bellamy’s room, there is no light coming from under the door and when she knocks there is no answer. Slowly, she opens the door, wondering if maybe he is taking a nap but, no. His bed is made neatly and the only light in the room is coming in through the crack in the curtains, and there is no Bellamy in sight. _Strange_.

Clarke moves to shut the door only to back into a hard chest and she jumps. Behind her is Bellamy, one of his eyebrows arched as he looks down at her. She has to crane her neck to look at his face properly, otherwise she would just be staring at his neck, and she crosses her arms over her chest.

“Breaking into my room?”

“Is it really breaking if the door is unlocked?”

The corner of his mouth turns up. “Need something?”

“Yeah, we need to talk the plan.”

He looks at her for a beat, his eyes searing into hers, until he looks away and nods his head a little. “Yeah, we do.” He backs away, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know where everyone is though.”

So, the two of them spend some time gathering everyone together and they’re able to get some hot chocolate made as they go to sit in one of the bay windows in the dining room. Everyone in the castle is quiet, and the eight of them spend time sipping on their hot chocolate. She wishes they didn’t have this to deal with. That they could just go back to how their lives were, but they can’t. Not that they would want to considering the dark truth would still be there.

“Does everyone remember what we talked about?” Bellamy asks after a while, and their friends nod their heads.

“Camping trip,” Monty says quietly. “I’ve been thinking and it should be relatively easy.”

“Right,” Murphy nods his head, “because stealing a big bus and trying to get everyone on to it is the best thing we could possibly do.”

“The only other option would be to knock out the adults while we’re driving and I don’t think you’d want to do that.” Miller sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. “How do we get people to believe us?”

“Becca is going to say it.” Her voice is low like her friends, but with the looks on their faces she knows that they don’t believe her.

“Uh-huh.” Murphy narrows his eyes at her. “And why would she do that?”

“Because she’ll want to live.”

At that, everyone’s eyes go wide as they look at her, but Clarke doesn’t waver. She’s thought about this a lot. The only way to get Becca to admit that what she’s done is wrong is to threaten her. _She deserves to die for what she’s done_. The thought has plagued Clarke’s sleep for weeks, but she knows it’s true. However, she also knows that she won’t be able to bring herself to kill her. _She needs to pay_.

“You can’t be serious,” Maria says, leaning forward.

“That’s crazy,” whispers Harper.

“You’ve lost it, haven’t you?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Jasper’s eyes are wide.

“It could work,” Bellamy breaks in, and everyone looks from Clarke to him. He looks up from where he’s staring at the floor, his arms crossed over his chest, and he looks at Clarke. “If it’s done right, it can work.”

“Okay and, what? We’re just supposed to get her to admit it in front of everyone? How are we going to do that?” Murphy asks, his eyebrows raising. “You do realize that we have more than just her to deal with, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Clarke says slowly, “and I’ve thought about that, too.”

The seven of them listen as Clarke begins to tell them her plan. She talks about how the other adults will have to be dealt with before they bring out Becca, but separating Becca from the rest of the adults won’t be a problem since she usually does rounds before going to sleep. It wouldn’t be anything to confront her and then everyone can listen to her tell them the truth.

Looking at everyone’s faces, it’s clear that not all of them completely support her plan, but having Bellamy agree with her is all Clarke needs. She knows he understands the risk they’re taking by doing all of this—all of them do—but they know that this is a risk they have to take. They can’t just let Becca keep getting away with this. Yes, they still have the others to think about, but Clarke has a feeling that they’ll understand once they hear the truth.

_They have to. Right?_

For the rest of the night, all of them stay huddled together quietly talking about what else they can do. They’re going to have to take the bus, so they’ll have to get keys, and they’re going to need food, and everyone is going to need clothes. They think about whether or not they’ll be able to come back here to grab more things if they need to and if they should bring medical supplies. It’s a lot for one night, but after spending _months_ trying to track Becca’s movements and figure out where she’s hiding the testing and coming up empty handed, this is their only option. They need to get everyone out of here sooner rather than later, and the only way to do that is to not wait any longer.

They can’t let another person in their family get killed and they won’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course, they won't!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	17. ⋄ Chapter Sixteen ⋄

**_October 30, 2143  
_** **_The Castle_ **

The camping trip is set for mid-November, which means that there would probably be snow on the road, but Murphy seems convinced that he would be able to drive. Which, Clarke isn’t entirely sure about that and she’s made a mental note to ask Bellamy if he would want to drive instead since he has more experience than the rest of them. Even if it is just driving a tractor.

Clarke is deep in thought as she walks from the lounge room with T.V. towards the stairs, but when she looks up she watches Bellamy come out of Becca’s office and he turns around to shake her hand. His smile is bright, something she hasn’t seen for a while at this point, but unease begins to twist in Clarke’s stomach as she looks at him. _What’s happening?_ She never did ask him what the two of them talked about that day Harper and Monty went into Becca’s office, but this…

Once Becca closes her door Clarke makes her way towards her friend. He seems to notice her almost immediately, something that’s developed over years of them being around each other, and Clarke tilts her head a little towards the back doors. She doesn’t look back to see if he’s following her because she can tell his footsteps behind her as she walks towards the door and pushes it open.

Clarke isn’t exactly dressed for the cold, even though she’s wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and she flinches as the wind cuts through the air. She wraps her arms tighter around herself and hunches over, trying to keep it from hitting her face as much, but she doesn’t break stride as she walks towards the lake. No one in their right mind would go there on a day like today, freezing and icy, but that means that Clarke can talk to Bellamy without worrying about someone eavesdropping.

It’s when they’re both standing on the edge of the water that Clarke finally looks up at him. His face has lost the brightness it had and there are more lines on his face than usual. _He looks tired_. Like their friends, he has dark circles under his eyes and he looks like he’s been up all night, his hair messier than usual. Clarke’s eyebrows knit together as she looks at him, but Bellamy only puts his hands in his pockets and looks away from her.

“What was that?” The silence between them isn’t something she can stand anymore, but her voice comes out harder than she expected it to. “Why did you shake her hand?”

“Clarke—”

“ _Why_ , Bellamy?” She hisses.

“Because she offered me a job.” Bellamy looks up at her then, guilt marring his face. “She offered me a job and—”

“Don’t you fucking say you _accepted it!_ ” Her voice echoes across the lake, but Clarke is too shocked to care about anyone hearing her. “How could you do that? You—”

“What was I supposed to do, Clarke? Tell her no?”

“Yes!”

“I can’t!” His voice booms around her, and Clarke stills. They’ve yelled at each other before, but he’s never risen his voice like _this_. “I can’t turn it down.”

“Why not? We’re supposed to be getting out of here but you’re playing right into her hands! We have a plan, we’ve made up our minds, we’ve agreed to getting everyone out of here. Why would—” Her memories of him looking towards his sister, the pain in his face, and the day he talked to Becca play through her mind. “You’ve been thinking about this, haven’t you?”

Bellamy doesn’t say anything. They look at each other for what feels like a long time, with Clarke beginning to lose feeling in her nose and ears, and her fingers feeling stiff where the wind blows over them. _How could he?_ It just doesn’t make any sense. He was there when they were planning everything and he sided with her when she brought up her plan for getting Becca to confess, but now he’s standing in front of her telling her no.

“Answer me, Bellamy.” Anger flares in her chest as she looks at him, but tears begin to form in her eyes, feeling as if they’re about to freeze.

“She brought it up the day I talked to while Harper and Monty were in her office,” he says softly. “I told her I had to think about it.”

“You’ll be working for a woman who is _killing_ us! How is that even something you would consider.”

“I can help them,” he spits back. “If she trusts me and if she does give me this job then I can keep her from hurting anyone else.”

“ _How_?” Clarke’s eyes widen. “Were you planning on stealing a bus later on and trying to get the kids out of here? What about all of the ones who would die before that could happen? Or our friends? What about Octavia?”

“I’m doing this for Octavia!” His eyes dance with a fire behind them, only confusing Clarke more. “She’s all I’ve thought about since we came here, you know that. If we try to escape and we get caught, I could lose her and I’m not going to sacrifice my little sister.”

“But you’re willing to sacrifice out friends’ lives?” She snaps. “You’re willing to sacrifice my life?”

“No.” His voice is like a deep growl. “I’m not doing that.”

“Really? Because that’s what it sounds like.”

“You don’t understand—”

“I don’t? She’s taking our blood under the promise of one day helping us and future kids go back into a society where we don’t have to hide and we don’t have to be worried about someone coming after us, but the donation isn’t even real—”

“We don’t know that.”

Clarke stops. “What?”

“Just because your mom said that she hadn’t heard about it doesn’t mean that it’s not real. It could be with one facility that’s working with the health organizations to make sure that Becca’s findings are true and then it’s going to make a decision about where to go from there.”

Panic begins to wrap itself around Clarke’s throat, her eyes burning as she looks at Bellamy. “Bellamy,” she says softly, her voice breaking, “please say you didn’t tell her.”

He doesn’t look away, but his silence is all she needs to know that he did. He told her what he knew, and now they are doomed. There is no other way to look at it. If Becca knows that more people know what’s going on, then none of them are going to be safe. Fear, anger, confusion, and betrayal wrap around Clarke like they’re trying to keep her from the cold, and for a moment she does feel warm, but then she feels as if she’s been pushed into the icy lake beside her.

 _How could he?_ Bellamy, who was always so calm, calculating, and collected had given up their biggest secret. He had laid waste to everything they’ve spent so long trying to plan. _Why would he?_ They stare at each other for a long time and, suddenly, Clarke doesn’t feel like she knows the man in front of her anymore. Years of being together, laughing, talking, and spending so much time together, and she never would have thought that he would do something like this.

The silence stretches between them and Clarke tries to get rid of the tears that are rolling down her cheeks before she goes back into the house. Pulling herself up to her full height, she levels her gaze at him, her lips pressing out into a thin line.

“You’re going to have to tell the rest of them and, when you do, I’m not going to be there for it.” She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, watching the fog fan out in front of her and even though it takes everything in her to turn around, she makes her way back up the hill and towards the house.

By the time she walks back through the door, her entire body aches and it feels like a bunch of needles are being stabbed into her all over, but she doesn’t pay any attention to it as she makes her way up the stairs. She pays no attention to the ones around her and when she reaches the door to her room it hurts to reach out and turn the knob. Her room is dark, and the sound of the wind blowing outside is the only thing that she can hear once she closes the door behind her.

Clarke shuffles to her bed, crawling under the covers after kicking off her shoes and she rolls onto her side. The tears feel scalding as they begin to roll down her cheeks, no longer freezing where they form, and they flow freely now that she’s alone. _How could he do that to us?_ _It doesn’t make sense. He never would have done that…would he?_ Her best friend betrayed her—betrayed _them_ —and now they have to live with the consequences.

 _It just doesn’t make any sense_.

~

Clarke starts awake to the sound of someone knocking on her door and when she moves to get up her head feels cloudy and her face feels puffy, and when she tries to swallow her throat is dry. She feels like death walking. When she opens the door, it takes her a moment to adjust to the blinding hall light, but the person in front of her is unmistakable. Standing only a foot away is Becca, and Clarke’s blood runs cold.

“Becca?” She whispers, and the woman in front of her smiles. Except, now, her red lipstick makes it look like her face is being split in two.

“Good evening, Clarke.” Her voice is light. “You’re not at dinner.”

“Oh.” Clarke looks down at her hands to see if she’s holding a tray, but she isn’t. “Yeah, I accidentally fell asleep.” Anxiety begins to creep up the back of Clarke’s neck, but she tries to ignore it. “I can come down now.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

Suddenly, two people that Clarke has never seen before come from the side. Two large, intimidating men with white lab coats on, and Clarke’s body goes rigid. _No_. Instinctively, she turns to dart towards her window, not caring about the fact that she’s on the second story and would probably hurt herself if she jumped, but four hands reach out and grab her. One covers her mouth as the others grab her arms, and then she’s being lifted off the ground.

“And to think, you were such a good kid,” Becca sighs.

A sharp pain spreads throughout her neck and then everything goes black.

~

When she wakes for a second time, she doesn’t know where she is. The room around her is red brick walls like the ones outside of the house and the bed she’s in isn’t hers and the sheets are scratchy and the air around her coats the inside of her lungs like there’s mold or mildew somewhere she can’t see it. There’s even a desk off to the far right, but there’s nothing on it and a solitary chair sitting in front of it. Her heart pounds in her ears, drowning out any other sounds she might otherwise be able to hear, and her hands sweat as she tries to figure out where she is.

She’s definitely never seen this room before, at least, not in her time here. She and the others wondered if there were hidden rooms that Becca would disappear to, but they never found anything that would suggest it. They knew of the basement, where boxes of decorations were kept, they’ve been in the attic where even more boxes were, but no matter where they looked they never found a door they didn’t know. _Until now_.

She throws back the covers and goes to stand, but pain spikes up her feet and she falls to her hands and knees. Pins and needles stab at her soles and Clarke sits down, trying to rub some feeling back into them. _Where am I?_ There is no window to tell her what part of the house she might be at but there’s also nothing telling her that she _is_ still in the house. The side of Clarke’s neck throbs, like her head, and she reaches up and gently runs her hands over the place they jabbed a needle into her. There’s a little bump, but there’s no blood or anything that would suggest she’s seriously hurt.

Trying again, Clarke rolls and stands, and even though her feet still feel like they’re not entirely awake, she’s able to take small steps forward as she walks towards the door. Pressing her hand against it, she can feel vibrations, but when she puts her ear up to it, there’s nothing. It’s solid, heavy wood, and it’s the only thing that’s keeping her from being able to leave this place. Whatever _this place_ is. She tries the handle, already knowing that it’s not going to work, and then she lays down on the floor and tries to see under the crack.

The hallway is white walls and wood floors, but Clarke doesn’t see any other doors or anything suggesting that there’s someone else in here with her. Then, out of what looks like thin air, three pairs of feet appear in front of her face and Clarke gasps as she tries to move away from the door. She’s still on the floor by the time the door opens and, looking at the people in front of her, she knows that there’s no way she could make it past them. But she could very well try.

Becca is in front, like last time, and she smiles down at Clarke, her brown eyes looking as if they’re completely black. “Good. You’re awake.”

She walks into the room further and Clarke does her best to back up before turning and running towards the bed, wanting to have as much room between her and Becca as possible. “What are you doing?”

“I thought we could talk.” Becca lifts a shoulder before walking towards the desk and she pulls the chair out, turning it to where it’s facing Clarke and then sitting down. “I believe we’ve had a misunderstanding.”

“A misunderstanding?” Clarke echoes. “You’re killing children!”

“Now, Clarke—”

“No. I don’t know what you’ve told Bellamy but I’m not going to listen to it. You can’t expect me to believe that you’re actually trying to help us. I saw the message about Atom.”

Becca raises an eyebrow at her. “Did you? And what did this message say?”

“Test 102 Failed. Subject Non-Responsive.” Clarke repeats the words that have been seared into her mind since the moment she saw them. “You killed him.”

Becca doesn’t say anything, only turns to one of the men that walked into the room with her and holds out her hand. The guy doesn’t say anything, either, but Clarke recognizes him as one of the men that grabbed her, but the second guy she’s never seen before. He hands Becca a manila folder out of his coat pocket and she nods her head at him before opening it, and Clarke holds her breath.

“Atom Landry,” Becca reads, “age: eighteen, height: five feet, seven inches, cause of death: acute pulmonary embolism.” She looks up, her eyes piercing. “Atom offered to give one last donation, but an embolism had made it’s way to his lungs and, unfortunately, he passed away.”

“That doesn’t’ make any sense,” Clarke mutters, and Becca raises her eyebrows.

“Come on, Clarke. You’re intelligent. I know you can understand that sometimes there are freak accidents.”

“But it said _Test 107_. That doesn’t sound like a ‘freak accident’ it sounds like you were killing him.”

“It was labeled a test because we have to keep record for the donation program.” Beccca lifts up her sleeve. “I’ve been giving. The same as all of you.”

 _It doesn’t make any sense. None of this makes any sense_.

Becca stands, smoothing her dress out in front of her and then walks towards Clarke. “You see, Clarke, what you believed to be the case isn’t true. When Bellamy first brought up the blood donation program and what the inter-workings of it were, I knew it had something to do with you since it was clear that you had touched Jackson’s tablet before pretending to be asleep.”

At the sound of Bellamy’s name, Clarke’s heart leaps into her throat. “Ah,” Becca’s eyes shine bright in the low light. “I see he told you that he talked to me. It’s a wonderful offer, Clarke. If you chose to accept a position, too, then I would be more than happy to make a place for you.”

That breaks Clarke out of her frozen state and she narrows her eyes at Becca. “I will _never_ join you.”

“I see.” Becca’s smile is gone, her face unreadable, but there’s something in the way her eyes seem to lose any life in them as Clarke looks at her that sends a wave of despair down her spine. “Sit down, Clarke.”

“No.”

“You’ll not want to be standing for this.” Becca looks towards the second man who pulls out a tablet, and Clarke watches as Becca clicks a couple of places on it before turning it around for her to see.

**_Husband and Wife Killed In Car Crash Late Tonight_ **

Clarke’s breath catches in her throat at the sight of a mangled car that looks like it’s been burned and a picture of her parents. For the second time in Clarke doesn’t know how long, confusion, fear, and anger all swim together, threatening to choke her.

 _The car was going South bound on the interstate when witnesses say the driver lost control and hit a barrier, flipping multiple times and resulting in a fire that was later extinguished. Both passengers in the car were pronounced dead at the scene. No one else was injured_.

The edges of her vision goes black and Clarke falls back onto the bed. Pain engulfs her, blinding pain that feels like it reaches all the way into her bones. A wail fills the room before she can stop it, and then she sits there with her hand over her mouth as she cries. It’s a pain that’s so deep, it feels like it’s trying to destroy her from the inside out.

 _This can’t be happening_.

“Clarke,” Becca sits beside her and even though Clarke wishes she could turn away from her and run, she knows she can’t. Her body won’t let her. “I understand how hard this must be for you but—”

“You—you ki—killed them,” Clarke chokes. “You—” Sobs rack her body and she curls in on herself as Becca stands.

“One day, you’ll understand.”

Clarke doesn’t watch the three of them leave the room or even pay attention to the sound of them locking the door, and her cries fill the empty space around her. _They’re gone. Both of them. They’re gone_.

Eventually, she must tire herself out because one second she’s awake, and the next she’s in the pitch black.

~

She wakes for a third time to the feeling of someone sitting on her bed, and even though she tries to open her eyes, they’re nearly swollen shut. Her vision is blurry and her body feels heavy, but when she can finally see the person properly, she wants to cry again. Monty is sitting beside her, his face creased in concern as he looks at her, and Clarke sniffles, though her stuffed up nose doesn’t allow for much to happen.

“Monty?” Her voice sounds like it’s been grated across sandpaper, and he holds out a bottle of water for her. “What are you doing here?”

“Becca said that you went into hysterics,” he says softly, “when you saw what happened.” _Of course, she did_. “I asked her if I could bring you something to eat since we haven’t seen you.” His eyes jerk to the side, towards the door over his right shoulder.

Clarke doesn’t say anything as she unscrews the lid to the bottle and tries to take a sip, but it hurts. “What day?”

“Halloween.” He looks down at the floor. “I’m sorry, Clarke.”

Again, she doesn’t say anything. She wishes she could go back to sleep, drift away from everything in the world. _I’ll be with them soon_.

“What?”

“I’ll see them soon,” she whispers. “When I’m released.” She tries to look at him, wondering if Bellamy had talked to everyone yet or not. But, she can’t read his face.

“Clarke—”

She moves and wraps him in a hug, noticing the shadow in the hallway by the door. She buries her face into his shoulder. “Trust Bellamy,” she says in a breath, hoping he heard her, and when he squeezes she know that he did.

She’s in this situation because of herself, but she has to believe that Bellamy won’t let their friends die. Yes, his has to save Octavia, but everyone else is his family, too, and she’s made piece with the fact that her time is up. It’s not for them, though. And that’s what she’s counting on.

“I’m tired, Monty.” When they pull apart, she squeezes her friend’s arm. “I’m okay, and thank you for the food.”

This time, it’s her friend who doesn’t say anything, and he holds her hand for a moment before getting up and making his way out her door and down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this feels like it was too short then I'm sorry! But I'm starting on chapter 17 now and...here we go...
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	18. ⋄ Chapter Seventeen ⋄

It’s the pain that wakes Clarke up and she has no idea how much time has passed between her falling asleep and now. As she tries to look around her head sears with pain and her eyes feel like they’ve been burned as she opens them. The room is blinding white, much different than the red brick room she had been in before. She doesn’t know how _much_ before, but she also can’t remember much of anything right now.

She tries to sit up, but there’s a throbbing in her arm and when she looks over, she’s hooked up to a blood machine with her wrist tied to the bed. She’s _giving_ blood. She moves to reach for the needle that’s in her arm but her left hand is tied to the metal bed frame, too, as are her feet. _I feel so tired._ When she yanks on the restraints, her body only wants to sink back into the mattress. _What’s happening to me?_ The room looks like the medical room even though it’s not, and, once again, she has no idea where she is.

_Are people wondering where I am?_ Thoughts begin to flit through her mind but whenever she tries to focus on only one her head begins to throb like her arm. She has no idea where she is, or where her friends are, or if she’s even still in the same house as them but, _they couldn’t take me out of the castle without someone seeing me. Right?_

The door to the room opens and Clarke looks towards it, her head barely able to move on the pillow it’s laying on. She feels exhausted. Much more than anything else she’s experienced while having her blood drawn, and she wants to go back to sleep. The sound of heels making contact with the tile floor is what keeps her awake, though, fighting with everything in her body to keep from falling back asleep.

Becca appears before her, her dark hair still pulled back into a ponytail and it hangs over her shoulder as the woman leans over the bed. “You’re awake.” Clarke opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. “It’s a shame that you had to leave on such short notice to handle your parents’ funeral arrangement,” Becca says as she pulls two gloves out of a box. “Many wanted to see you off.”

Clarke swallows a couple of times, trying to get her mouth wet enough to let her talk. “You lied,” she rasps.

“What is a white lie when it will spare others a very painful truth?”

“The painful truth that you’ll kill them and send their family a body.” Her voice cuts out on her multiple times despite her attempts to keep it steady, but Becca doesn’t acknowledge it.

“As I said, one day you will understand.” Becca moves to the blood bag, pulling her glasses out and putting them on as she looks at it.

“I would never understand this.” Clarke looks down at the arm Becca showed her with the needle mark. “You’re one of us.”

“I am.” Becca doesn’t look at her.

“Why would you kill your own kind?”

She hums. “Am I your kind?”

_What’s that supposed to mean?_ “You said you were a _nightblood_.”

“Yes.” Now, Becca turns towards her, raising an eyebrow. “And?”

“That makes you one of us.”

The corner of Becca’s mouth turns up as she looks down at her. “I was not born like you, Clarke.” She lifts up the sleeve of her white coat, showing the needle mark. “I transformed myself into one of you.”

“But you said—”

“That I knew the pain you and your parents were going through? I do.” _How—_ “Growing up, my parents and I had to move very often. My father was the leading mind in genetics. He was revolutionary but some had…issues, with his vision.”

“You’re both insane,” Clarke grunts, the pain in her arm beginning to spread.

“Now, Clarke,” Becca _tsks_ , “you’re above name calling.”

Clarke grits her teeth as the throbbing intensifies, and then a bright light is being shined into her eyes. She loses her ability to think, or perceive what’s happening around her. The voices become jumbled, until they’re just nonsense words that she can’t make out, and then the door opens again. She opens her eyes, fighting the urge to cry out at the pain that’s beginning to engulf her body.

There’s the sound of metal on metal and she looks over, watching as Becca picks up another needle and Jackson comes into view with another pack of blood. She can’t hear what they’re saying to each other and then Jackson walks to the other side of the bed and begins setting up the second blood bag. _Why are they giving me blood back?_

“Why?” Clarke whispers, and Becca takes a deep breath as she turns to look at her again.

“Does it matter?”

“I want to know what I’m dying for.” She isn’t expecting to leave here. She came to terms with that fact when she was still in the red brick room.

She came to terms with a lot of things in that room. She thought about why Bellamy chose to do what he did, and she understands. Or she would like to believe that she understands. He’s always been the one to do what was best for everyone, so if he decided that waiting was what would be best then he had a reason for it. After spending so much time with someone, she should have understood. He believed in it, and he wanted her to believe in him.

Clarke knows that it’s because of herself that she’s here. Bellamy never said her name, or anyone’s, he just asked her a question. She felt too betrayed to try and understand what he was telling her, and she still feels hurt that he never told her before that day, but he didn’t give them up. Yet she still thought that he did. She thought that he would betray them so easily, when she should have known better. She _does_ know better, but the pain she felt…

“My research, while it is on _nightblood_ characteristics, revolves around how it can be used for alternative purposes.” Becca’s voice brings her out of her head, and Clarke looks up at her.

“Like how you changed yourself?”

“That was the beginning, yes.” Becca smirks at her. “Throughout the decades, since _nightblood_ became known, there have been those who were considered to have ‘extreme’ or ‘abnormal’ cases. Of course, no one understood what that meant, but I’m so close to understanding.” Her smirk turns into a smile, causing Clarke to gulp. “You’re helping me understand.”

“The bag is ready,” Jackson says off to the side, and Becca nods her head at him.

“I’ve learned that with _nightblood_ , the Rh factors will change every six hours. If given to a normal person, then it will adapt to fit their blood and they will temporarily have slight abilities normally associated with the blood. However, if a _nightblood_ person is given normal blood then, once their blood cycles, the normal blood that they were given will ultimately kill them.”

Clarke sucks in a breath, Thomas’s cause of death coming back into her mind. _Blood clot_. “See? I told you were intelligent.” If it weren’t for the fact that Becca was about to kill her, Clarke would almost swear that the other woman looked pleased. “If you keep adding _nightblood_ into a normal person then eventually they will begin to regulate it themselves, their bodies adapting. And if you overload the body with the blood—”

“You’re trying to enhance yourself?” Clarke asks, confused, and Becca raises her eyebrows.

“Not just myself. If I can figure this out, it would be revolutionary.”

“But you want to kill children to get it?”

“The blood reaches it’s peak when the kids are they’re around eighteen. Some earlier, some later, but all around the same age.” Becca brings up the needle again. “I’m going to give you a sedative which will make it seem like you’re asleep. You won’t feel a thing, which—”

There’s an explosion, and everyone jumps as the door to the room bursts open. Clarke barely has time to understand what’s going on when the hands on her disappear and Becca gives you a loud yell. She can smell smoke and the metallic smell of blood beings to permeate the room. Then, another face appears before her.

Bellamy’s eyes are wide as he looks down at her, like he can’t believe she’s there, and then he’s undoing her restraints. “Bellamy?”

She can’t believe he’s here, either.

“Come on.” The restraint from her right arm disappears, and the left, and as he works on the restraints on her feet she reaches over and takes the needle out of her arm.

When the restraints on her feet are gone, she pulls her legs up, but then Bellamy is there standing in front of her again. They look at each other, and she notices the scrapes on his face and the gun in his hand. She didn’t even realize that he knew how to shoot one.

“Bellamy, what—”

“We need to get out of here,” he says, reaching out for her, and Clarke lets him pull her off the bed, but she can’t feel her legs. She falls, but his arms come around her and pull her back up. As she looks up at him, she doesn’t understand what’s going on.

“Why?” Her voice is low, barely audible to her own ears, and he looks down at her.

“I fucked up. I—” he shakes his head. “I thought that we would have a better chance at getting out of here if I took her up on her offer, but when you left me I realized just how wrong I was. I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry. When you didn’t come to dinner I realized what happened and we’ve planned ever since.”

Tears flow down Clarke’s cheeks as she looks up at him, and even Bellamy’s eyes begin to shine. “I’m sorry for hurting you and I’m sorry for making you think that I didn’t care about you, because I do. If I had known that Becca would come after you I never would have—”

Clarke leans up on her tiptoes as much as she can with the state she’s in and presses her lips to his. It’s not much, but she tries to tell him it’s okay. That she understands and that she’s sorry, too. For doubting him. It takes him a moment to kiss him back, but when they pull apart they stare at each other, wide-eyed. _That just happened_.

“We have to get the fuck out of here!” Miller calls from down the hall, and the two of them look towards the open door. “Jasper and Monty caught this place on fire!”

_Shit_. They stare at each other for a moment before Bellamy scoops her up in to his arms and darts towards the door, and Clarke has just enough time to see Becca beginning to move before she disappears out of view. Miller is waiting for them at the end of the hall with three packs on him and a gun in his hands, too, but Clarke doesn’t have much time to think about where they even got them before they’re helping her onto the ladder. All of her time in this place and she never knew that there was anything that required a latter.

She climbs, feeling her limbs protesting with every move she makes, but she tries her best to pull herself up. She can hear the two others following after her, until eventually she reaches a hatch, and the smell of smoke and the sound of other people talking and running can be heard from the other side of it. She doesn’t know what’s going to be on the other side but she lifts her hand up and pushes, her muscles aching with the weight that’s being placed on them. Then, all hell breaks loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He saved her :) I would love to hear from you!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx


	19. ⋄ Chapter Eighteen ⋄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter!

**_Now_ **   
**_November 4, 2143  
_ _The Castle Ruins_**

The fire is still raging behind them as Clarke and Bellamy lead the rest of the kids towards the shed that’s on the side of the property. She feels weak and after the chaos they went through just trying to get through the other adults, she doesn’t want to walk anymore. She thinks about the other adults, wondering if they were able to get out before the castle began to burn completely, but she can’t bring herself to actually care about the answer. If they had made it out, then they would have came after all of them, but there hasn’t been any sign of anyone. Not even Becca.

As they walk towards the shed, Clarke takes it in, realizing that it’s not as big as she remembers it being. Then again, the castle didn’t seem as big as she remembered. Bellamy and Murphy both move forward and open the doors, motioning for everyone else to go in. The children are ushered in first by Octavia and Harper, and then Monty and Jasper take up the rear with Miller, making sure everyone else made it in before they closed the doors again.

Inside is dark and musty, and a string gets pulled, turning on the yellow lights that hang on the rafters above them. Looking at everyone in front of her, Clarke notices just how many people have ash marks on them and cuts, though a few children in the front look as though they’ve just rolled out of bed with not a mark on them. Clarke and Bellamy stand next to each other as the rest of their friends line up with them, Octavia by her brother with Jasper and Monty, and then Harper by Clarke with Murphy and Miller. It’s because of them that they’re in this situation now, so it’s up to them to figure out where they go from this. Their house is burned to the ground, the people who cared for them are gone…Clarke looks up at Bellamy standing beside her, and when he looks down at her, they nod slightly at each other.

“I know a lot of you have questions. We have a lot ourselves, but all of you know the truth now.” Everyone looks at each other, but for the most part they stay silent, and Bellamy continues. “We wouldn’t have asked you to do this if we thought there was another way.”

“This is better than dying,” a tall, sandy-haired boy named Lee says. “If one of you says that we need to get out, then I believe you. Things were starting to feel different.”

“We were starting to feel different,” says someone else Clarke can’t see, but she knows who the voice belongs to. “They changed. Starting hurting us.”

“It’s always been this way,” Clarke chimes in. “It’s just now, we’re older. We began to notice things that we hadn’t before. This was our home.”

“But what kind of home is it if they kill us in the end?” Another voice asks, and a girl with a pale face and brown hair comes into view. Marina. “This is the best choice we could have made.”

There’s a murmur of agreements that go through the crowd, and Clarke can see some of the other kids looking around, frightened. She’s pretty sure they don’t completely understand what’s happening, but in time she knows that they will.

“Okay, then everyone go get your packs, wherever they are, and we’ll meet back here to leave,” Bellamy says, looking out at everyone, and there’s a sea of nodding before people begin leaving out of the side door.

Their friends leave, too, but only after all of them have given Clarke a hug. The look in Octavia’s eye as the two girls looked at each other said that she understood that Clarke and Bellamy needed to talk. As did all of their other friends. When Jasper makes it out of the side door last, Bellamy walks towards the big bus that the adults would use when they wanted to bring them camping. The windows are blacked out, and there’s no sign on it that would even hint at the fact that they were people taken away from their families because they were considered “special.” He opens the doors and climbs up the stairs with Clarke following behind him, and the both look at all of the empty seats. He sits down in the driver’s seat, and Clarke holds onto the back of the seat as he puts the key in the ignition and it roars to life.

“Do you know how to drive?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy says quietly. “I convinced Michael to let me drive the car every now and then when I was growing up.”

“Did you?” Clarke’s eyebrows nearly reach her hairline, but the sudden movement causes various places on her face to sting.

“It wasn’t much, but…” he smiles a little at her.

There’s silence between them as they stay where they’re at. Clarke knows that they’re going to have to talk about the kiss, but right now she still just wants to know how. He said that he realized he made the wrong decision, but with everyone else they _knew_.

“Becca said that you went into hysterics and that you had to leave for your parents’—” he stops, looking up at her with sadness in his eyes, but Clarke just nods her head slightly. “People didn’t believe it. We had so many of the others asking us what happened and where you were, until eventually I told them.” Bellamy takes a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “I told Octavia, Harper, Jasper, Monty, Miller and Murphy about the decision I made because I knew I couldn’t keep it from them. You were locked up because of me and—”

“I did that to myself, Bellamy.” A lump begins to form in her throat as she looks down at him, and then she looks at the floor and the slip guard on it. “I asked my mom if she had heard about the donation and Becca said that she knew I was asleep. You didn’t give her our names, you just asked a question.”

“I did,” he says softly.

“And I just assumed.” Tears roll down her cheeks in hot streams and all of the pain and guilt and anger she’s been feeling for days comes back in full swing. He never answered her question that day and she assumed that he had told Becca from his silence. “You let me walk away,” she says trying to stop her tears. “Why?”

“I felt like I deserved it.” Bellamy hangs his head. “You thought I betrayed all of you and I didn’t know how to respond to that.” Clarke steps towards him a little and he looks up at her. “I thought that I was doing what was best for all of us, but you thought I had given everyone up and I realized that if that’s how you saw it, then I made a serious error in judgement.” He reaches out and grabs her hand at her side. “I never wanted you to get hurt. I just thought that—”

“You could save all of us,” she whispers. She reaches out, moving her hand from the back of the seat to press it against the side of his face. “You did that.”

“But everything’s burned. The house is gone, all of our stuff—”

“Hey,” Clarke tilts his face up to hers. “You did good. Especially given the amount of time you had. If you beat yourself up over this, it’ll haunt you forever.”

Bellamy’s eyes are wide as he looks at her but after a moment he nods and stands, and Clarke is left looking up at him. “I’d do it all over again if I had to.”

The way he looks at her eases some of the pain that’s been swimming around in her chest for days, and as she gazes up at him she can feel more tears coming but for an entirely different reason. She wraps her arms around him, burying her face in his neck and he holds her tight. The pain in her body intensifies for a moment but Clarke focuses on her breathing and the comfort she feels from being back in his arms, and she tries to push it all away.

When they pull back, Bellamy leans down slightly, his eyes still on hers, and Clarke tilts her face up to his. This kiss is softer than the one before and her lips are wet from tears, but she pours all of her emotions into it.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” He gives her a lopsided smile and, despite everything, Clarke laughs lightly.

Twenty minutes later, everyone is lined up in the room and packing all of their bags into the bus. It takes a while, with a few people opting to change into dry and clean clothes behind the bust first, but when the bags are packed, the children are told to pick a trip buddy, like how they were always told to do whenever they went on a trip. The youngest out of all of them is six, the same age Clarke was when she came here, with the oldest being Bellamy.

After everyone has taken their seats, Bellamy positions himself behind the wheel again, and Clarke sits beside him. As the bus roars to life, all of the memories she had in this place come back to her, and when they pull through the doors, she can feel a pain in her chest. Despite _everything_ that’s happened, this was still her home. It was everyone’s home. There’s a blanket of silence that fills the bus as they start down the old gravel road that they’ve run and down more times than they can count.

_This part might be over, but there’s still so much left for us to do_. Something warm comes and wraps around her hand, and when she looks over, Bellamy gives her a soft, sad smile. It feels like her heart has never been this full, and this sad at the same time.

“We got this, right?” She asks, and the corner of Bellamy’s mouth turns up.

“I think we’ll figure it out.”

It’s not a _yes_ exactly, but she understands. It’s not going to be easy, but they know that everyone sitting behind them is their responsibility. They knew that when they first decided that this was going to be their decision they were taking on a very big task, but there’s no going back now. They wouldn’t go back even if they could.

_Thankfully, now, no one else will ever have to come here._

They decide to drive towards the camp where there are beds and blankets and clothes for everyone, but in the morning they will begin their search for the next city. By the time Bellamy pulls into the driveway most of the children are asleep with their friends nodding off, too, but Clarke can’t say that she blames them. It takes most of the older kids to get the younger ones up and into the cabins while the others grab all of their bags, but by the time everyone is in bed, with most of the little ones double-bunking, everyone is out cold.

_It’s been a long day_. Clarke makes her way to one of the empty beds only to have Harper crawl in beside her, and then Octavia pushes one of the other beds towards it. They’re going to have a lot to do tomorrow but, at least for now, they can get some rest.

They still have a long road ahead of them, trying to figure out where they can go and finding answers to all of the questions they have. There has to be someone out there who knows about them, who can help them, and then there are the others that Becca always told them about. The people who would want to hunt them, but they don’t even know if that story is true. No one is sure how much of what they’ve been told is true, but that’s what they need to figure out.

The snow continues to fall outside, covering everything in a blanket of white, even the parts of the castle that have stopped smoldering and are just there, but the children in the cabin are oblivious to it all. Clarke and Bellamy look at each other in the dim light, understanding what this means. What they’re going to have to do.

They’re just not going to have to do it alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end? ;)
> 
> I want to thank all of you for reading this story, whether you've been here with me since I first started posting these chapters or if you find it later down the road <3 This story has chapters that are shorter than the ones in my other fics, but I think that's just because I wrote all of this in five days and I'm pretty burnt out now lol BUT I finally submitted it for class! I think that, eventually, I'll come back and rewrite this story and add in more things that I believe to be missing and try and polish it up it won't be anytime soon. But, when I do come back to fix it up I don't know if I'll just delete this story altogether or what. 
> 
> That being said, I did have plans to leave the ending open in case I ever wanted to come back and add a "book two" but, right now, I need a break lol If y'all have any ideas as to what you think is going to happen then I would love to hear it! 
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for commenting, bookmarking, and leaving kudos on this fic <3 It really means a lot :)
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> Xx

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on...
> 
> Tumblr: xxawalkinwonderlandxx  
> Twitter: awalknwonderlnd


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